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  1. I came here to suggest the same thing, talk to friends. I had a different issue with my partner (similar feelings of shame about it) and talking to a couple of my closest friends about it really, really helped. They also check in about it sometimes which helps.

    Also try to consider how typical or unusual it is for him. Do you catch him hiding other things (a sneaky drink with colleagues after work, small unauthorised purchases on your joint account) or is this the only thing like this? Does he speak to you respectfully, lead on household management, make an effort with your friends and family? When you have been discussing it since you found out, has he listened and been respectful or just kept reiterating his standpoint (or even worse, engaged in gaslighting/denial)? All of these things need considering (and reconsidering over time if you stay).

    I came to the conclusion that my partner was a good man and a great partner with an addiction I was comfortable supporting him with but I know lots of people find a big issue like this then exposes other issues they have been ignoring or downplaying.

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