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Date: November 7, 2022
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Yes but I don’t know how to move ,eat and take care of myself because I’m afraid.He start to go out with friends and act like nothing
STOP trying to have another baby.
Go to marriage counseling with a sex-positive therapist, and get your intimacy issues figured out.
Under no circumstances should you get pregnant again until your marriage is in a better place. Babies are not marital duct tape. They cannot fix things or hold you together
STOP trying to have another baby.
Go to marriage counseling with a sex-positive therapist, and get your intimacy issues figured out.
Under no circumstances should you get pregnant again until your marriage is in a better place. Babies are not marital duct tape. They cannot fix things or hold you together
Team the guy you are talking to. Find out what he thinks
“I'm sorry you couldn't handle the fact that I said I needed to finish school work today. Consider yourself single as of now.”
I bet this is a fake post
Ah, yeah that does make it more rough. I'd suggest to ask if she can be clear now that you're more clear headed
Those are HIS KIDS. Not yours. Therefore he needs to provide for them. Honestly if I were in that situation then I would probably that circus. Your husband sounds irresponsible.
Finding the right therapist can be a huge battle. If you don’t vibe with a therapist it’s okay to go and look for another therapist who is a better fit. They get paid, yes, but that’s because they chose a job of helping people. Personally, I really believe in therapy, as long as it’s the right fit.
Dude.. stop overthinking all of it. It's life, life sucks sometimes. You literally described a perfect relationship and you're like, ” could I sour it by overthinking?” Uh, yea, you're gonna burn a bridge that's healthy as fuck. You literally have the relationship that people dream about.
This post is literally “SMH”
“Seems great, might post on Reddit.”
Go fuck yourself OP
Glad she listened. My ex 's gf at the time didn't, she married him after knowing him only 6 months.
Have your mom there. This isn't about him and you can do it without him. It doesn't matter if it's his baby. He doesn't have to have people staring into his hole ⛳ and watching their body be ripped apart
I think that she is forewarning you that you can date, just be it known that no females will be around you when you have your baby. She doesn't want you to have nasty ass ho's around her baby. Anyone you date will be a nasty ass ho, and she doesn't want that and she won't allow it. She will have also have sole custody of the baby. I would definitely make sure that the child she is pregnant with is yours. It never hurts to be 100% positive.
I'm gonna say this as delicately as possible, my dude.
You're only desirable to this girl because you're taken. You start to lose your appeal when you become “available”.
She has no respect for you, your girlfriend, nor your relationship. She doesn't even have respect for you as a friend because if she did she wouldn't be crossing the boundaries that she has.
If the fire isn't there with your girlfriend, that's one thing. If you see no future with her, then by all means, sit her down and have that talk. But if you're breaking it off for the friend? Wrong move, man.
But hey! You're young. Something tells me you're about to learn a pretty big adult lesson here.
You said you’re basically part of the family now, how long have you guys been together ?
Hahaha, dudette! You didn't meet any men in your life yet, you're 19… Stop talking about perfect and go your way. Thank me in 20 years.
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So in his dream college scenario you faithfully wait for him while he makes his rounds with other girls?
Because sex is meaningless to men but not to women.
So, the sex you two had means nothing?
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sounds like you’re the other man
This went too far too quickly for the relationship to stay that way. You need BIG changes. If you think you can still be with someone that SLAPS YOU (the biggest ??you could have) than marriage counsellor. One for you, one for her, one for your daughter because she is growing up in a TOXIC environment and one for the entire family. You cannot be in a relationship that put your daughter in this kind of environment, you need to protect her, yourself from your wif and yourself from the bad thing you could do in anger. If it’s not salvageable (usually when couple slapped each other, there is NO come back from it) then divorce. If you choose the divorce, you MUST still go to therapy to find why you stayed in a abusif (slapping is abusive) relationship, to manage your anger (slamming a wall near your daughter is unacceptable) and therapy for your daughter because it WILL affect her…
Why can’t she? It goes both ways. She’s putting in no effort because it’s the MaNs JoB
He pays for everything as is. She surely has plenty of money and time if that’s the case.
You will regret not leaving sooner.
I feel like she's hiding you for a specific reason. Honestly man I would start getting used to the idea of breaking up. I'm not saying you have to, but you know this is not healthy relationship behavior and this sounds suspicious as fuck.
Being so comfortable with each other already, how can that be addressed?
It simply cannot. Not much you can do on your end. It's mainly on her.
she feels that a commitment to explore a romantic relationship might need to include passion and that spark
You only create passion and a spark with intense sexual tension. You two have a platonic relationship and more importantly started off as a platonic relationship so that makes it harder to shift.
However, she’s mentioned that she has some hesitation because she could see potential with other people, but recognizes that there is so much alignment in our lives that she would not want to jeopardize our status.
This is a very sensible mating strategy but understand if you just hang back and be the “backup” it will just prolong whatever you seek out of this.
Of course, I am more than willing to provide time and space for her to work through a decision
Don't just stand around while waiting, you should be exploring opinions as well. You've already put the motion on the table and been quite clear with her.
notion of not being a clear choice definitely does bring up anxiety and insecurity on my end
My dude, you're not the clear choice, you're the backup/safety net. I've been that guy, you dont want to be that guy.
perhaps an opportunity for each other to explore elsewhere without commitment or guilt is the best way moving forward?
Yes. You're very close to being that guy she “settled for”.
Perhaps there is a better way to approach this, or maybe a perspective that I am not seeing.
You've basically done everything you need to on your end. The standard procedure of transitioning a friendship to romantic one is to let time past and then when you meet again you “renegotiate” the terms of your “relationship”.
You're literally already done this successfully and it turns out there's no spark. So get out and start new relationships, yes its annoying and tedious but your current situation isn't ideal.
You're presently the backup guy while she shops around some more. You have to decide if that position is agreeable with you.
Why is this such an issue for you? Don’t say “it’s just weird” and if you say it’s cause she’s his ex then why does her being his ex make it an issue?
Not burnt out. Wise. Yes,sex does decline after marriage. So, like I said, he'll get duty or pit sex (or maybe procreation SS) after marriage. He definitely isn't getting the second life he hopes for.
This time I will
>but how is this possible
*MIGHT* be possible, but EXTREMELY unlikely. Let's look at the reasons why:
PROOF of hack. Unless he has something like Tinder Plus (I think that's what it's called), he won't be able to message women that aren't close to him. It's highly unlikely the hacker would be in the same area as him. TECHNICALITY of hack. Like you said, this requires receiving an SMS to log on. It is extremely unlikely the attacker would be using the same area code as him.
>He said he can try to get a report with the IP address and location the messages were sent from… dont know about this either.
He can ask Tinder of course for that information, but I doubt they would give it over without a court order.
>He said if we broke up its unfortunate because the reason would be ridiculous bc he is so serious it wasnt him
So why can't he log into the Tinder account and close his profile?
Leave her, tell your friends, tell her friends too. People like this will always try to spin it in a way where they're the victim.
Stop sleeping around. It's not good for you.
I wouldn’t be able to stay in this relationship. Essentially he doesn’t support your autonomy. If you’re pregnant, your choices and your body don’t matter any more to him. You are not a full person to him in the way he views himself.
What a trainwreck
What a trainwreck
What a trainwreck
The way you described her, I would be shocked if she found someone to sleep with or go out with in such a short period of time…. That said- it’s clear you two are very intertwined and maybe it’s for the best you guys take a break and soul search.
If I were you, I would stick it out- there was something wrong enough for her to pick up and leave and not want to work on a 5 year relationship- that’s a red flag that I would actually listen too and so should you.
I think telling her that she was right and y’all need time and space is the best move forward even if it is incredibly naked on you right now. I know it’s cliche and cheesy, but if it’s meant to be it will be there in the future. If not, why waste even another day in that relationship?
Goodluck but I would keep it as it is and even tell her you need space so to please respect that and not contact you for a bit…
Going against the grain here to say your wife is kinda being shitty about this situation. This isn't just people being judgemental, this is people literally accusing you of a crime, a very shameful crime at that. It's affecting your child. I completely understand why this isn't something you can just brush off. I don't really have any advice for you here, I don't know how you could convince others that you're not a pedo or convince your wife that this is actually a big problem. Maybe therapy could be helpful.
Stop negging on yourself over his habit. I know it’s hot not to but you need to understand, even if you were a porn star yourself, or miss universe, this guy would still be doing this. A guy who does things like this will still do things like this. Also, the girl he is looking at isn’t exactly a unicorn 24/7. Much of what they do for those photos are make up tricks, eyelash extensions, air brushing and such to sell a fantasy.
He wants those things because he wants to ‘trap’ you with him, because he thinks he’ll lose you otherwise.
It’s naked to break up with the father of your child and it’s nude to break up with your boss (then you’ll also lose your job. That’s why it’s a very bad idea to work with/for your spouse because then your relationship and career get intertwined and when you lose one you lose the other, so basically you lose everything).
This is a manipulation tactic because having children and having you work with him are not two comparable things. Having/not having kids may have permanent implications for parents and provide far more life satisfaction. Honestly the disagreement over kids should really be the break up conversation but ok.
I absolutely would never tolerate the man I’m dating calling me a cunt. I’d kick him out and tell him to go couch surf with a friend because the relationship is over.
You need to break up with ABC. It sounds like she assaulted you, or faked being pregnant, or both.
Tell your friend. If he understands, he’s a true friend. If he doesn’t, then you were bound to lose him over this anyway.
The ex is gone.
You need to make some better life choice and think your decisions through and talk to the people in your life before you make giant life altering decisions.
Im glad you came to this sub for advice and I hope you follow some of it. This is a really messed up situation.
Those texts read like a couple of people having an affair reaching the light bulb moment where they figure out they need to move from texting to messaging on a more discreet app.
Yes because you are more than a placeholder til he finds “better”. Girl, you're the best! You're better off going and finding somebody smarter than this jackoff, someone that knows it! Big hugs, you're more than a warm place for his dick. This is him getting his cake and eating it to. That way when he decides to go off with somebody or fuck em he can say, “we weren't official”. Well, to me, exclusive is exclusive all the time, not when it suits him.
I know…. Thus he didn’t give you the reaction you wanted. He still had a sincere reaction.
I’m starting to think you don’t know what the word sincere means.