When you date/marry someone who slept around before you there’s always at least a chance there’s a kid out there. Good for him for willing to be there for the kid now that he’s found them. You have to choose what you want to do though. Set your boundaries and consider couples counseling if say
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That’s a very simple comment but made me think outside of the tunnel vision I had… just not sure how I’d make it work given I couldn’t do both financially and would feel like I’m not being the best partner when I’ve made this commitment
A partner not hitting you is a bare minimum requirement
A partner respecting you is a bare minimum requirement.
You are not even getting the bare minimum. It has nothing to do with perfection. How you rationalize toxic behavior is extremely concerning and I fear you will be in back to back abusive relationships because of it.
You deeply need therapy. Please take care of yourself
Ok per relationship advice, in life you pick and choose who you want to further relationships with, same goes for spending extended weekends for a special occasion. We want to honor your mom, the favorite, by at least asking. Worst case scenario your SIL causes a scene that leaves you embarrassed and angry. If that does happen you can always update with your frustrations.
Lol yeah I would leave him. He cheated and then when caught claimed to be regretful, which I’m sure he was but only because you’re mad. If you never found out he may have kept doing it. I think men who do this and hide shit like this just are not ready for a committed relationship
If she was actually sorry she would be completely transparent with you. She's sorry, but she is still hiding things from you, which means she's done way worse and she knows once you find out, you won't forgive her. So if she's not willing to be 100% transparent with you, then you should just leave.
My [33M] wife [32F] wants to go on a cruise with someone she cheated on me with.
—HARD no. Say no. Say no. Say no. If she throws a tantrum, then you've got your answer: she isn't a good wife to you. I mean heck, she's cheated once! Even if she doesn't cheat with this affair partner in particular, she may well cheat again with someone else.
Offer to take her on a cruise. Just you, her and your child. See what she says. If it's a no, then, you've got a clear case of “it's the affair partner you want then, isn't it”
That if she wants to go and see Bulgaria, that she needs to go with you, needs to either find a legitimate tour to join, or you both organise what you are doing.
That she needs along with you to start learning the language and cultural differences.
That under no circumstances will you or her be catching up with anyone from Instagram or other social media platforms.
And if she doesn’t want to follow these safety measures, then she doesn’t go at all.
When she starts saying that you are trying to control her, tell her that you are not, that what she wanted to do was raising red flags, the entire gambit from scam, sexual predators, to human trafficking etc. and that you do not want her to be putting herself in danger like that when some basic precautions can eliminate most of the risk.
That you want her to have experiences, and explore new places, but to do so in a way where you don’t have to worry if she will return alive or at all.
Sounds pretty controlling to me. Your 22, why bother wasting anymore time on this? You’re already faking messages to not upset them, what do you think the future holds for this relationship?
It is a big age gap. I'm 35 and I know that I have nothing in common with 24 or 25 year olds.
What matters is how you feel. It sounds like you aren't actually comfortable with this. I could totally understand why, too. You're both in very different places in life.
Be frank. You don't need to tell her she was a monster but you can tell her she was a completely different person last time and you cannot risk enduring that again because your marriage almost didn't last through it last time if it wasn't for the fact that her old personality came back. She won't like that, and it may make her feel insecure, but it's important she knows how serious you are about this.
The fact is. She can’t produce milk period. You have to have milk glands which means just because she has transitioned, she will never have these. Her article is biologically impossible. She should not be trying to breastfeed period. Idc, but this is abuse to your child. Not intentional I’m sure. How dare her use the transfobia excuse on you! She has issues that you aren’t going to be able to help her with by yourself. Listen to your mothering instincts. This is wrong. And her using the pacifier is basically the same thing is BS. It’s not.
Don’t be gentle. If he cares for his mom and is aware of what healthy accommodations look like then he needs to help her instead of trying to make you live in filth.
She's playing you. You deserve better. Don't sell yourself short for someone with so little respect for you. I get you love her, and it's painful, but she's straight up playing you.
She's playing you. You deserve better. Don't sell yourself short for someone with so little respect for you. I get you love her, and it's painful, but she's straight up playing you.
I’m not even the type of person to wear revealing clothes (not saying I have anything against people who does FYI) so, for him to accuse me of doing things I never said I was going to do, make a huge deal like I said something absurd when all it was “I want to dress better”, and to make assumptions on what I was going to dress like is not okay. He could’ve initially asked what I wanted to wear, instead he jumped right into “so you want to show more of your body” and made me feel like I had to defend myself and explain myself.
It’s crazy also because a couple weeks ago he said he’s going to start dressing how he wants. Why can he say that but when I do I’m this horrible attention-seeking girl?
True, when you own your own house, you pay no rent.
Y'all gotta stop treating grown ass women like children
Thank you for this helpful comment. I’d be happy to show a kind man who has been hurt love and patience ?
When you date/marry someone who slept around before you there’s always at least a chance there’s a kid out there. Good for him for willing to be there for the kid now that he’s found them. You have to choose what you want to do though. Set your boundaries and consider couples counseling if say
And he was worried about male nurses being creepy…lol.
U are right.
Well dont tell her she is turning into her mother for sure
…weird… (your bf is weird)
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That’s a very simple comment but made me think outside of the tunnel vision I had… just not sure how I’d make it work given I couldn’t do both financially and would feel like I’m not being the best partner when I’ve made this commitment
What???
A partner not hitting you is a bare minimum requirement
A partner respecting you is a bare minimum requirement.
You are not even getting the bare minimum. It has nothing to do with perfection. How you rationalize toxic behavior is extremely concerning and I fear you will be in back to back abusive relationships because of it.
You deeply need therapy. Please take care of yourself
Ok per relationship advice, in life you pick and choose who you want to further relationships with, same goes for spending extended weekends for a special occasion. We want to honor your mom, the favorite, by at least asking. Worst case scenario your SIL causes a scene that leaves you embarrassed and angry. If that does happen you can always update with your frustrations.
Lol yeah I would leave him. He cheated and then when caught claimed to be regretful, which I’m sure he was but only because you’re mad. If you never found out he may have kept doing it. I think men who do this and hide shit like this just are not ready for a committed relationship
If she was actually sorry she would be completely transparent with you. She's sorry, but she is still hiding things from you, which means she's done way worse and she knows once you find out, you won't forgive her. So if she's not willing to be 100% transparent with you, then you should just leave.
My [33M] wife [32F] wants to go on a cruise with someone she cheated on me with.
—HARD no. Say no. Say no. Say no. If she throws a tantrum, then you've got your answer: she isn't a good wife to you. I mean heck, she's cheated once! Even if she doesn't cheat with this affair partner in particular, she may well cheat again with someone else.
Offer to take her on a cruise. Just you, her and your child. See what she says. If it's a no, then, you've got a clear case of “it's the affair partner you want then, isn't it”
Stand your ground. You got this!
You tell her no.
That if she wants to go and see Bulgaria, that she needs to go with you, needs to either find a legitimate tour to join, or you both organise what you are doing.
That she needs along with you to start learning the language and cultural differences.
That under no circumstances will you or her be catching up with anyone from Instagram or other social media platforms.
And if she doesn’t want to follow these safety measures, then she doesn’t go at all.
When she starts saying that you are trying to control her, tell her that you are not, that what she wanted to do was raising red flags, the entire gambit from scam, sexual predators, to human trafficking etc. and that you do not want her to be putting herself in danger like that when some basic precautions can eliminate most of the risk.
That you want her to have experiences, and explore new places, but to do so in a way where you don’t have to worry if she will return alive or at all.
Sounds pretty controlling to me. Your 22, why bother wasting anymore time on this? You’re already faking messages to not upset them, what do you think the future holds for this relationship?
It is a big age gap. I'm 35 and I know that I have nothing in common with 24 or 25 year olds.
What matters is how you feel. It sounds like you aren't actually comfortable with this. I could totally understand why, too. You're both in very different places in life.
How am I nearly 30? If I'm nearly 30, she's nearly 23.
She knew me when I was a minor too. Is she also a predator?
Just give him a 3 month proposal ultimatum and move on.
OMG ????????????????????????????????????????
thought women were biologically less good at gaming
lmao
Be frank. You don't need to tell her she was a monster but you can tell her she was a completely different person last time and you cannot risk enduring that again because your marriage almost didn't last through it last time if it wasn't for the fact that her old personality came back. She won't like that, and it may make her feel insecure, but it's important she knows how serious you are about this.
The fact is. She can’t produce milk period. You have to have milk glands which means just because she has transitioned, she will never have these. Her article is biologically impossible. She should not be trying to breastfeed period. Idc, but this is abuse to your child. Not intentional I’m sure. How dare her use the transfobia excuse on you! She has issues that you aren’t going to be able to help her with by yourself. Listen to your mothering instincts. This is wrong. And her using the pacifier is basically the same thing is BS. It’s not.
Don’t be gentle. If he cares for his mom and is aware of what healthy accommodations look like then he needs to help her instead of trying to make you live in filth.
Nuff said. Unless OP enjoys the fight.
She's playing you. You deserve better. Don't sell yourself short for someone with so little respect for you. I get you love her, and it's painful, but she's straight up playing you.
She's playing you. You deserve better. Don't sell yourself short for someone with so little respect for you. I get you love her, and it's painful, but she's straight up playing you.
Your friends are 100% right.
I didn’t
She still should have told him as soon as she discovered she doesn't want kids.
I think she should break up with him so he can find a woman who also doesn't want to get married.
I’m not even the type of person to wear revealing clothes (not saying I have anything against people who does FYI) so, for him to accuse me of doing things I never said I was going to do, make a huge deal like I said something absurd when all it was “I want to dress better”, and to make assumptions on what I was going to dress like is not okay. He could’ve initially asked what I wanted to wear, instead he jumped right into “so you want to show more of your body” and made me feel like I had to defend myself and explain myself.
It’s crazy also because a couple weeks ago he said he’s going to start dressing how he wants. Why can he say that but when I do I’m this horrible attention-seeking girl?
Babe, you can get sex anywhere. It is easy for us women. I can literally have dick delivered like domino's within an hour if I really wanted to.