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Date: September 25, 2022
Yeah I will pay. But he keeps saying “oh we should go sometime to try Cuban food”
Honestly, no. I thought if I did that it’d come across as sad/desperate (my confidence is far better than it was but socially it’s still frail). That said I’m seriously debating just sending a voice note (it’s too easy to put on an act in text messages) explaining everything and asking if she wants to do something but I’m also worried it’d come across as desperate to the point of being the final nail in our friendship’s coffin.
Im also a chronic over thinker if you hadn’t already sussed that out, haha.
First of all, you need to let her go. She did this because of YOU. She deserves better than YOU. It doesn’t matter if you’re “better” than you were. You’ll fall back into that habit because it’s a habit. It takes more than a few weeks to fall out of a habit. She probably is only coming back because she’s such a good person or you’ve made her so insecure that she thinks she can’t get better than you. You shouldn’t have gotten a second chance and you need to give her the chance to find someone better.
If I was his best friend, I would do everything in my power to keep him away from you and help him get the life/love he deserves. He is way too good for you.
Generally speaking it's just a whole lot easier to not sleep with people in relationships, then you don't have to deal with the issue at all
In reality, what you want him to do and what he’s doing/going to do sound completely different.
Figure out what you would do if he was 100% gone, then do that.
Lol a bit of both? Sometimes she’ll offer feedback and be like I think we should do this instead, it would better to do this later kind of thing. But other times she definitely goes the “you’re the man” route. Like I grew up normal so when things come up I just work around them, like if I know I don’t have money or I need to save up for something I’ll go two months without a haircut just so I can achieve whatever goal I have. For her she has a really tumultuous upbringing, constantly getting moved around and abandoned so she latches on to certain things. Like she has a routine of spending $8 at McDonald’s every morning for her breakfast. That’s just her routine. So when I brought up us sacrificing things to start saving for the house and building and mentioned we could save a bunch of money if she stopped spending $8 every day then it could go towards saving and she almost had a full blown panic attack. The issue is very much that I guess I don’t make enough? But when I mention buying a car to get a better job somewhere else, that’s not a good idea because it’s a big expenditure.
Your mother destroyed the family – not you.
You are in no way responsible.
My sister is 33 with 3 kids but she could pass for a teenager. She looks like she's holding her younger siblings when she's out with her kids. Her husband is the same age and looks it. No one gives a fuck and no one says anything.
Own your actions. Trying to rekindle a relationship and hide the truth will fail.
Forgive me for being insensitive but if their family is like that then they’re a bad family. You’re always supposed to have your families back. If I was in that situation and told my family that this girl basically destroyed my high school years they would tell her to get out of their house.