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1. So, if this is the sort of thing you are ok with in theory but just don’t like to be around then canceling your membership and going to a different gym is a perfect solution.

   But IMO it should be within the ability of two people in a relationship to have a conversation about this without blame being cast on either side. And I would, because buried feelings tend to turn into resentment. Even if you find a workaround like going to a different gym.

   To do this start with a bit of a disclaimer “I want to talk about something that’s been bugging me, but before we do I want you to know I’m not blaming you.” Follow it with an I-statement “I feel insecure at the gym, and a lot of it is because I see you looking at girls with really different bodies than me.” Reaffirm that this isn’t a blame thing but it’s about addressing your feelings “I know it’s natural to appreciate fit people, but it still hits me in a place where I have unresolved insecurities.” Follow with your solution “so I think we shouldn’t be gym buddies any longer, that way neither of us have to feel bad. I won’t have to see it and you won’t have to feel like I’m watching your every move.”

   Mature communication is not about hiding all your inconvenient and unflattering emotions. It’s about being able to acknowledge them and address them without being ruled by them.

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