my 1st post- https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/117hh3l/my_husband_33m_told_me_hes_no_longer_attracted_to/
He's back home now because his sister kicked him out and after I told her what he said she said she didn't want him in her house around her sons.
We talked yesterday so I could get a better idea of what he is experiencing and he said he has zero sexual libido towards me, but other women do excite it occasionally but not through porn either. I'm guessing he meant random women and acquaintances he sees.
He said he's not cheating and has no plans to, but he can't promise a good sex life if he isn't attracted to me. I told him the sex isn't my concern right now but if he loves me. He said he does and always will but right now he only sees me as a mom and not a wife or lover. He sees me the same way he sees his mom and trying to initiate "grosses him out"
I asked if it was because of him being scared of hurting the babies and he basically made a crude joke that let me know that wasn't what he was worried about, its just my body that turns him off. He said as long as I stay in shape it shouldn't be a problem long term but he's still worried about any "scaring and stretching"
He didnt even feel bad, and he felt like I overreacted by asking him to leave for a few days. I told him how cruel it was to say to someone who's in the weakest point of their lives and he said I was fine because I'm still working… yeah I don't have a choice but to. My career would be ruined otherwise.
I'm thinking I'm going to just say with him for the rest of my trimester because I honestly need the help once I'm closer to giving I'll have to start considering a divorce.
He's upset because I've already moved my things to another room in the house, and I've already started separating our finances. He thinks this is something that can be worked through and wants us to go to marriage counseling.. considering how many times he poked fun at me going to therapy before, I don't buy it. I dont have the energy to entertain it either. I'm really just disappointed at myself and my choices right now and knowing I'll be experiencing my first times as a mom alone, and everything is about to be 10x harder than I thought it would be.
I mostly just want to say thank you for the messages I received from other mommas who went through the same thing and somehow came out of this sane. It really helped me to hear and realize this is not what I want. When I brought up a divorce he didn't take it seriously at all, but I cant be with someone who's made me feel this low and disrespected.
submitted by /u/throwRAtiredrepeat2
[link] [comments]
The day people stop believing that you have to experience your sexuality when you figure it out WHILE YOURE IN A RELATIONSHIP will be the day I can lick my elbows.
Fair reply.
So IMO I believe this is a scape goat excuse to get out of being vulnerable or acknowledging your feelings. This is normal for relationships to go through by the way where things go wrong or continue to worsen is when both partners continue to keep their guard up. I know that in my marriage it’s something we continue to recognize and improve but it does require one of us to put down the guard and stubbornness. Since women are generally better with emotions and understanding maybe you could surprise him one night with a super clean bedroom and candles or cute little outfit. Anything you know he would feel appreciated and comfortable. There are fun little card decks you two could do that are also light hearted but help break tension. It’s much easier for me to give the advice than do it myself at times but also this is very common in any relationship.