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Umma, 19 y.o.
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Date: December 1, 2022
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l agree with you, i do not think hes treating me well. My fault is that I always kept falling for his excuses. He sent his friend a shirtless picture on DM once and then told me that he thought of her as a sister, who would send that to their sister? He also told me he fantasised about his sisters friend so probably some weird stuff to unpack tbh. I personally dont see myself with anyone else, maybe that will change with time. Worst part is I cant even talk to him about whats going on with me because he will just be silent.
I had my first CBT session this morning and he did not come up at all since We were focusing on my background. You bring up a good point, I will bring it up in my next session for sure, but thats after a month because of christmas break and exams š
How can you see he groomed me? What do you think Iāve changed in my life?
I think the fact you jumped into an open relationship without discussing any boundaries, says a lot about how you and your wife actually feel about each other. You said āyesā to something you werenāt interested in to not have to deal with a divorce.
At the end of the day though, I think why she feels youāve cheated, perhaps rightfully so, is because an open relationship typically just means being open to sex with people outside of your relationship with some sort of parameters like only one night stands or we both go out together and go home with different people, etc.
What you were doing was having a whole other romantic relationship with another woman that became so important to you, you stopped prioritizing your marriage at all. Frankly, if you loved your wife, you would have figured out how to support her and make it work in a way that felt comfortable for you both, but it sounds like you may have had one for out the door for a long while and are only hanging on because it would be inconvenient for you to leave.
There's nothing “borderline” about using a sleeping persons body part for sexual gratification. It is sexual assault, period. There's nothing to talk about.
But how?? She answered the question! He isnāt her boyfriend!
If he thought her was, yet had they called one another that before? And had either talked about the label??
Again, he literally writes they were having a fine and happy convo before his feelings were hurt. Then he, someone whoās spent so much time with Sarah, then completely emotionally switched mid convo, and sheās to blame??
You cannot know, what you can to know. And Iām struggling to see where heās been taken advantage of.
And he has said no other ways that they were in a ārelationshipā other than spending time, and Iāve asked what let him to that conclusion more than once. And itās been skipped..
You need to get out and get therapy. You are a mess: his mental health is his responsibility- and your mental health is yours. Stop letting this man destroy you. What advice do you want? You are choosing to live like this. This is so far off the reservation you need binoculars to find it. Leave before this man kills you. An out of control man is dangerous. Leave.
I know guys get hurt by rejection because I've been told by guys that rejection hurts. Everyone gets hurt by rejection. It sucks, I've been there and I'm a woman. And there's nothing wrong with telling someone you like them, that's better than saying something else and coming on too strong about it.
who did you hear that from? the ignorant people who donāt know me, and donāt know what iām experiencing?
Started having second thoughts a few months ago when we got into a fight about our plans for the future He has supported me but now i think he has some issues with me developing further I know our relationship works a lot around compromise and i can adapt to change not sure if he can
I mean I know it stresses him out, as he still doesn't know what he wants to do for his career. But he hasn't thought into it very hot. He decided to try a very different job than he's normally had, which he likes more, but he doesn't want to go to school (which is the only way he'd make money in this career). He also doesn't want to do a trade job anymore (that was his past and he hated it, even though he was making good money). I've just ran out of advice.
If I don't pay for groceries, we'd be eating KD and ramen every day, which I know he'd be okay with – but I'm not. Or, if I don't pay for us to go for dinner, we'd literally never go for dinner again. Or if I didn't pay for his rent for those few months, his suggestion is we both moved back in with our parents, lol.
We are best friends and I know that's a very important quality to have with you partner to make it last long-term. He supports me emotionally and is very caring. I just wish he'd try a little harder in his career. I want him forever so badly but I can just see it going poorly one day when we have kids and money being a huge issue. Very conflicting.
He has had these friends his entire life basically and most of them are single and no we don't live together.
He's not a big drinker and neither am I but his friends like to drink and they wanna do that for his birthday. He doesnt think I'd enjoy it because I dont really drink and there will be no other girls there but i'd enjoy just being there as his partner. I guess im more hurt by the fact that he doesn't try to have me and his friends bond in any other situations either. I get im not a drinker and his friends are, so in a drinking setting maybe we wouldn't have the best time. but im still down if it means spending time with people who are important to him. I just feel like if I bring it up with him ill ruin his mood for his bday and if he takes me at that point its bc I basically begged him to. I just dont get why he wouldn't want to keep his dating life and guy friends so separate. it just makes me feel insecure in our relationship and any time I ask its just the simple explanation that he doesn't like mixing the people in his life.
Was going to say this. Most people only graduate once, weddings… well.