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Tyler and Isa, 21 y.o.
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Date: November 30, 2022
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If you truly want to make a go of it, maybe just ask her what you could do in this relationship to show her how much you care? Because I'm getting the sense you do care and don't want to just drop it and move on. If the response is non-sensical or impossible to achieve then you know what to do
I hope you find reasons to really quit. My dad's a heavy smoker when I was a kid and it had affected my health.
Anyways, just sharing. Good luck on your marriage OP.
To be blunt you shouldn’t be a good girlfriend to a boyfriend that rapes you. He’s not raping you because you’re not a good enough girlfriend – he could just break up with you if that’s the case. He’s raping you because he’s a shitty person and a rapist.
You deserve better. Even a bad girlfriend deserves better, but I don’t believe a rapists opinion on whether someone is good or not. I’m quite confident he’s full of shit and you’re not a bad girlfriend. He is a horrible boyfriend though.
I wish you strength and hope you can get yourself safe!
You aren't responsible for other people's trauma (which I'm assuming she has due to her behavior). It's also not your job to fix it and put up with it. You've given her solid advice many times. Protect your energy. She sounds draining and will learn what she chooses to in time and in her own way. You do you abd work on yourself and your own goals. You don't have to put up with anyone else out of fear of abandoning them or hurting their feelings. You could just simply say, “I wish you the best but this friendship isn't working out for me.” I just ghost people too if they get too exhausting.
What did she do or say that led you to think she isn't satisfied? Or that she's longing for more?
Also, you need to recognize that you demanded to be compared, and now you're unhappy with it. Clearly, you're projecting at least some of your feelings onto her.
Why is being the absolute best at all things sex so important? Do you need to be the absolute best listener too? The best at being respectful? The best at appreciating her? The best at being an equal partner? Consider what you're actually trying to be and if it's actually a person worth being.
So why are you giving him wife benefits when you’re just his girlfriend?
When old ladies used to talk about ‘why buy the cow when the milk is free’ that’s what they really meant. Not sex, but playing wifey. You’re not his wife so quit doing alla that. Note he’s not trying to play hubby to you, so.