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FIRST DAY — BE GENEROUS AND GIVE ME PLEASURE [25 tokens remaining]
Date: November 24, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
FIRST DAY — BE GENEROUS AND GIVE ME PLEASURE [25 tokens remaining]
It's not about playing the game less, it's about spending more time with you. And if he can't do that then maybe you need a more mature person in your life.
Yes but he gave me hope that will be family and in that time he was preparing to be alone ,me just making test to see if I’m pregnant.when he crack that pink ballon I’m devastated
Ok break up with him then if you don’t trust him
i think this is a bit different. i say LDR but we're 2 hours and something away from each other, so it's a different case than being with someone from another country or something. we try to see each other as much as possible and i actually might be going to study another school in two years or so that's much much closer to her soo..i have high hopes it's gonna last
Exactly. Someone stated this has been going on for 5-6 years or more.
Clearly the husband knows about this history and that nothing has helped the sister and doesn’t want a life of having to be affected by endless visits from her that cause him stress.
I can understand where he’s coming from.
Girl, this whole post is full of red flags. Get away from this man, he is not the one for you.
Well I generally try and talk about their job or interests for the start. Future plans or even just ask about their family. Can also discuss their likes and dislikes. Sometimes I’ll discuss something political. And it’s not that I can’t keep a women it’s that if I stop messaging said women they don’t bother reaching out.
He’s not used to financial stress. I’ve asked for a journal to write in as a Christmas gift so not really gold digger behaviour haha
Yeah I’m going to decline I think and have a free weekend. I’m really burnt out with nursing in general and even though I love my job I can’t keep working 50-60 hr weeks. I’ve done almost 200 hrs of hospital time this month and I don’t want to give that money away to him, I’d rather just have a quieter Christmas. I worked out the amount and it’s 15 hrs of work he’s requesting really.
I wonder if he said the exact same thing, all the other times.
I'm sorry to say this but what makes you so special that you can get a serial manhoe to change.
As a guy I have some friends like him, and I would put money on him knowing you're a virgin and seeing you a a challenge, nothing more.
It's clear you have a problem with his past, and if you decide to proceed you'll always be paranoid about what he's doing… Doesn't sound very sustainable to me.
Does she want a wedding or a marriage?
The whole point is he doesn’t want her to give a down payment, so she has no ownership in the property whatsoever. Why should he pay for 95% of the house for her to take 50% of it plus half his other assets if she decides she wants a divorce? And the old “if you love me you’ll do this” is just emotional gaslighting. He has a lot more to lose if she decides in 2 years she doesn’t want to be married anymore but DOES want half of everything he has.
It sounds like you know what to do. Your gf is not only being unhelpful, but she's adding to your burden.
Have a clear talk with her about how you feel, where things stand, and if she wants to work on staying together.
This is like a hotel lobby hooker getting you up to the hotel room before springing the hooker/sex for money trick on you.
Your girlfriend was hoping you would be too embarrassed to back out…..afraid of being labeled a bad person….after you find out your whole relationship was based on a lie from the start.
Why is it important that she did not tell him this?? are you serious? if she did not have the full transition yet than she has a penis. OP is straight so it is a very important information for him. Also, he has to know that she was not born as a female as that influences their future, for example having kids together.
It is very weird that everyone is telling him to respect her feelings. But she showed him no respect. For many straight men it could cause serious mental issues to realize, they liked someone or made out with someone who was born as a male. Everyone deserves the truth from the beginning. OP is reacting very well but this would not be the case for many others, could even put the girl into some dangerous situation
Honestly it seems like the most disturbing part for you would be not knowing every last detail of how your BF spends his time. Honesty and openess are great but people are allowed to have secrets. Is this really a hill you want to die on?
You contacted the stripper? ?
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you call her clients losers
Strip club patrons deserve all the shit that they get. Besides, even Anissa makes fun of her clients calling them beta babies and door mats And I get a good laugh from that.
So, she is the one demeaning them
He's not “forgetting” anything. He's repeatedly violating your boundaries thinking he can and will just wear you down and that's not ok.
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?
Yes. Dump him and find someone who respects your boundaries. If this guy can't stop after seven months then it's not going to change, there's no “magic word” here that's going to make it all better.
Regardless is she did or didn't: She did not respect you or your feelings.
Same!
I'm mad? Cry! Sad? Cry! I even watched the new Disney Little Mermaid trailer at Avatar the other day (which I was about 7-8 when it came out, and now I have 6 year old and 10 year old daughters), as soon as the music came on? Cried, I mean, I get to experience nostalgia with my OWN DAUGHTERS, off course I'm going to tear up!
I try everything to stop it and I can't.
I just wonder how long they've actually been dating or living together such that now he has a problem with her crying? Like was the time they lived together just a week before they got married? He knew how she was and still married her.
Nope do not make yourself hurt by going back cut her off completely don’t let her have any access in messaging you
Definitely do not sleep with him ever again unless it's 100% your idea and what you want to do. I think you should make plans to leave once the worst of the raising an infant stage is done. Make a plan with your parents or whoever, but you have said it yourself you're only with him out of necessity and not because you should be. Good luck and stay safe
God, you poor thing. I hope someone is looking after you. This seems quite traumatic.
At which point will your love fade? You wanna watch her cheat in front of you? Will that be a mistake you both can work through? What if she gets pregnant with his child? Will you both love it like it's yours?
Get yourself together! It is long over!
It wasn’t intentional? You were sexting a guy and then to decided to proceed with meeting up with him. It had every intention. Your BF deserves better, you are a cheater.
You sound like an AI bot creating a story for how not to girlfriend…
So you want to make her miss out on things because of your pride? And you think that's a good thing?
And you want to force her into situations only you control?
Those are rather abusive thoughts you need to learn to control. You're about to be single if you don't leave to be a team with your partner.
She got invited to an event for her school. You couldn't afford to go. So the solution is for both of you to not enjoy it because you'd rather ruin the event than be equals?
You said yall left for other reasons, but I bet she made up a reason because you seriously showed how little you cared about her or the event and it soured the evening. You're going to be single soon if you keep focusing on yourself and your pride at the expense of people around you.
She would not be criminally or legally liable for sharing this information with his MOTHER. You are not very bright. His character is not being decimated publicly in any way. Libel and slander are very distinct terms with legal definitions and qualifications.
Can someone address this example
She wanted to drive but said she was tired rright before saying it
I said, dont drive please.
She tries to convince me she is a different type of tied.
I'm still worried so I ask if she can not drive again.
I feel weird cause I do not drive when she tells me not to cause she is worried. I bring it up, she denies it.
I finally accept that i will worry, but I say to that if she drives , to please be safe
Then she says “im so tired of arguing”
I say this isn't an argument
She says ” but it's always something”
I say something isn't bad.
She says okay.
I decide to confront her about her seeing everything as an argument
and reassure that its very hot to not approach confronation as an argument
and repeat to be safe if she drives.
I ask if she agrees that she tends to take everything as an argument. She denies. I tell jsut now seems like that.
Then she says she can't keep doing this. and will stop acknowledging it when shes at school and we're talking about it. explicitly shows shes frustrarted “f*ck, oh my god” we need to stop”
tells me she wnats space.
I give her space
we dont talk for awhile
Comes back and tells me I am not respecting my boundaries and how she said multiple times she needs some sort of space after an arugment
I still think it wasn't an argument and don't like how she took it as one. I know i just gave her space just now, but I just rreply telling her to take her space and that im sorry.
I tell her to take her space, but that i'll be here still.
I apologize that i am rrushing her to fix that problem of thinking something is an argument all the time or avoiding.
then she says to stop pushing her away suddenly.
she explicitly gets frustrated and mad. “just f*ck listen” “you're rushing me to take space”
she Tells me that ” its not a habit and thats how she does things. and that she is not going to fix that because it doesn't need to be fixed”
I ask her if we're talking about the same thing.
I repeat what I'm talking about: her thinking everything is an argument , approraching it like that, avoiding the issue”
She doesn't address what I just said, and says how I've been controlling how I do things recently.
I don't agree since I let her do things even if I worry after I can no longer convince her not to do it since something is unsafe or dangerous.
I still say that i'l stop but how the original thing about asking her not to drive started an argument and it shouldnt have.
she shuts me down and just says “stop” and”stop before you saying something worse”
“and that he will probably never be as close to me as he is to her”- I think that this should be your cue to leave this relationship. Your guy does not respect you and it does not sound like you are fundamentally well-suited together. I would not recommend that you persist in this relationship because otherwise over time, you will just lose your self-esteem and sense of self in the relationship.
He must of been absent minded and washed it by mistake
My chest length beard and I are helping. :))
If you keep trying to have the same conversation and gets you nowhere, I doubt she plans on changing. You either learn to get used to her behavior or you find someone that has the same priorities.
She’s 18 and doesn’t want sex, a job, she won’t drive and expects you to pay for everything. Run.
The problem with taking in a love interest who has nothing else going on in their life is that while you might enjoy that they're always “right there”, if they don't have projects and ambitions of their own they get bored quickly. She's young, you moved her in way too fast because you enjoyed having a new toy and she did what most early 20-somethings need to do, went out to experiment with other people. Your next relationship should be with someone your own age who has a career and a life and isn't always “right there”. It's fun to have a groupie sometimes but to forge a real relationship you need an equal partner.
Not touching. Sitting next to each other and slightly facing each other.
Precious?
Op in 5 years: my dad chooses his son/daughter over me and my mom doesn't speak to me, how can I fix this?
Offer to buy a new one? You’re joking?
Toxic. Get away and work on yourself
Can you, and your daughter move in with your parents or would they help you, and your daughter get a place? You cannot stay with this girl or in that house. Neither is healthy for you or your daughter. She will also never change. If you don't want to live like this you have no choice, but to leave.
Please know for the future, if you ever have that feeling of doubt that you don’t fully want to do something and you have to be convinced, don’t do it. My heart goes out to you, I can imagine the pain this would’ve caused me, I would feel exactly the same. I wish I could give you a hug, Reddit stranger.
As a cishet, I agree.
I’ve tried last year, but as I mentioned it seems as she sees it as a threat, like “this is the final straw” argument from me, and not a constructive suggestion
I can’t believe the ages here.
At 28 & 33 years old, games should NOT have this effect on you or you lives!
This is insane.
She’s breaking tvs? That is more than “anger issues…”
“Throw away acct so it doesn't ruin the surprise (he doesn't know).”
This is a very bad idea. Do not surprise someone with an unannounced visit – there are so many logistical elements in play that this is far more likely to go badly than well. He may make other plans (especially since it's his birthday), he may not even be around (maybe he decides to take an impromptu trip himself).
The Gift of the Magi is not a heartwarming tale of love and sacrifice, it's a cautionary tale about how a lack of communication and a fixation on surprise for its own sake can cause serious, entirely avoidable harm. You still get to give your boyfriend a fun surprise: it will be an exciting surprise when you tell him you're visiting rather than when you show up. Plus he gets a couple weeks of excited anticipation, and can plan on his end so that things can be even better for your visit than showing up unannounced. There is literally nothing to gain and everything to lose by trying to engineer this as more of a surprise.
As for your parents, you just tell them in a matter-of-fact way. Because you're telling them about a fact – you're going on a trip for these days in April. It's not a request for permission nor a negotiation, it's a boring recitation of factual information. If they say you can't go, apologize for being unclear and sounding like you were asking for permission; you're not, you're telling them about what you will be doing. If they try to pick a fight, exit the conversation.
Sure except my dad just died I got in a car accident and I lost my job……
What choices do I have now asshole. All my money is going to lawyers Bc my aunt stole 190k in assets and I’m working with the fbi to catch her
This is a great message. Thank you for the kick in the butt on what I have felt we needed for a while with counseling. We have a pretty good marriage but we have these “bread and butter” challenges that slowly erode what is working well. You nailed it…”its not a competition”. And “I suspect the message you're getting is not the one she's meaning to send” yeah I think you are right. Thank you.
You do not want to move to Germany and move into his house. That’s a great way to get trapped.
I suggest you move to Germany only if you have an independent reason to move to Germany, like you want to go to school there or have job prospects.
Here are some red flags:
you are not even in college and he’s saying these are the “best years”. They aren’t. Your “best years” are ahead of you and will comprise a lifetime.
you’ve been dating long distance for three years. There is no substitute for IRL interaction. Basically a long distance relationship with limited IRL interaction is the same thing as getting set up on a blind date when it comes to dating.
you don’t have any plans to become an independent person regardless of what happens. If you can’t be independent, you ae going to be a poor partner for your future mate.
So in conclusion I should go there?
Poor kid doesn't even realize what happened to her. You have it right. He was never sterile, he just wanted to have his cake and eat it too, with the child he groomed from a very young age. Disgusting.
He'll drop her like a bad habit as soon as he finds out. His game is done now.
Let me guess, you can't go out with your friends without him to a bar
Just wait. It will only get worse the more he thinks he has you locked down and under his control.
LoL.
“Physically, she isn't my type” is a great way to phrase it. I won't say that outright, but that seems like a polite way to frame it.
So then what is your suggestion? Should she have plugged her ears when he was literally having his therapy session right outside the door? Should she have started yelling “I can hear you!” so he walked away? Like tf? He chose to sit outside the door where she was sleeping. She didn’t move to hear better, she didn’t go down the hall to where he was.
You act as if she could consciously choose to be deaf at that moment to avoid hearing him. Jfc.
That’s a very good thought! Thank you for that perspective. I’ve never had a yeast infection which is apparently very common during pregnancy and I still don’t so I don’t know the pain that he is experiencing
She's not interested, bro.
Not sure what advice you’re after. But lots of people work with security clearances or NDAs or doctor/patient privilege and can’t tell their partner everything about their job. I don’t see the problem but clearly you do. Seems kind of silly to me though.
But I’m one of those people and it’s never been an issue in my relationship.
Not sure what advice you’re after. But lots of people work with security clearances or NDAs or doctor/patient privilege and can’t tell their partner everything about their job. I don’t see the problem but clearly you do. Seems kind of silly to me though.
But I’m one of those people and it’s never been an issue in my relationship.
Not sure what advice you’re after. But lots of people work with security clearances or NDAs or doctor/patient privilege and can’t tell their partner everything about their job. I don’t see the problem but clearly you do. Seems kind of silly to me though.
But I’m one of those people and it’s never been an issue in my relationship.
And OP…. don't ever believe you were the first or even the only one!
And OP…. don't ever believe you were the first or even the only one!
You need to separate the feelings about the snoring. You can find it hypocritical, but don't just get mad at her snoring because she does it too.
I have a partner who snored. Loudly. It can literally reduce someone's quality of life and ability to sleep, practically make them insane.
You both need to approach this better, and stop harboring resentment or looking for hypocrisy.
First thing, take some sleep tests and talk to doctors. Loud snoring every night can be signs of apnea.
kick him to the curb and focus on your self-worth.
If your boyfriend is 34 and not thinking about dating toward marriage, he likely has no desire to get married any time soon, if at all. It seems clear you are dating with the intention of finding someone to marry so… I’d talk to him about how your goals don’t exactly align, and initiate separation. I’m sorry, love ♥️
Uh the fact that he won't use condoms when you asked him to is alarming. That is a huge red flag. Like a red flag big enough for China. Dump this guy like yesterday.
I'd suspect…
(a) that yes, this bad stuff is happening to you, and it's not fair
(b) I know that moving here helped make this happen
(c) I love and support you, and your feelings are important
(d) I'll be active in pushing back against people who treat you like an offender, and I'll support however you want to confront these people to make this stop.
Decide to have conversation sometime at a calm and no time limit location.
(Write down your thoughts for reference, if needed).
Ask her what does she want for a future? What does she want from the relationship? Where does she see it going. Does she want children? When? How would she raise them?
Then you can discuss and compare.
Well I want X,Y.,Z….
I am concerned about A,B,C…
See what she says.
But you can’t be determined to make it work. You have to feel on the same page. Staying for the wrong reasons won’t help you or her.
Does what she wants and when match?
I wish I could upvote more than once
He’s abusive. How do you respond? Date someone else.
First of all, it’s NOT normal or healthy to be having arguments every month. Next, it’s downright abusive to behave like he does.
Someone could talk to me (44F) like that precisely one time. And then I’d be done. I don’t need that kind of crap in my life. And if you have any interest in having kids later, you know he’ll do the same to kids and mess them up.
Thank you!
She works at a hospital making ~50k with benefits. I'm thinking as long as she has good enough insurance, I'm still here to support financially as I don't plan on accepting a paycut with any new offers.
With that being said, yeah I agree contract work is for too risky at this point and time.
But i will wait until Monday
I feel like it's not okay for your partner to make a huge decision like this without talking to you. It affects BOTH of your lives. It seems incredibly selfish for him to decide without any input from you.
I do think that people need to make decisions that would best serve their future, but he should at least have talked to you. And that way you could have decided if you want to wait and if you want to stay in a place you both don't want to be.
I think you should think this through.