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Tiger Scott, y.o.
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Date: October 19, 2022
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this comment section is beyond disappointing. what you did was wrong, we all know that and you came here to ask for advice to better your relationship but everyone is just slandering your boyfriend. i think everyone is forgetting what the OP said that night, and let’s not forget the fact how the bf took care of her the night of and the morning after even after hearing something as vile as what was said. he’s rightfully hurt and right now to him he can’t trust the fact that you haven’t cheated on him in the past. he’s not gonna trust you to go out drinking again for a very long fucking time because that thought of you wanting to hook up with other guys will always be there to pester him. a lot of guys would’ve just ended things and left you plastered at that club but he didn’t. i’ve gotten cheated on before like so many others have, even though you may not have cheated, this is probably the second closest action to it. it’d be crazy to say that he wouldn’t set up boundaries, granted the name calling is a little excessive but he agreed to not call you those names during the party and it’s only been a week he will stop he’s just hurt and a little petty (there’s nothing wrong with that, he almost got cheated on). this is as fresh as a newly broken bone, it needs time and nourishment to fix. all you have to do is do what you’ve been doing the past couple days, just show him that you love him and that you wouldn’t pick anyone else. show him why you choose him and why you wanna stay with him. maybe you can do something’s thats special to the both of you to reignite his love/trust for you. it’s going to take time, this kind of hurt take a while to fix and only through constant love support and constant comforting will this issue be fixed.
i swear to god half of these reddit users have the thought process of a toddler, it’s almost as if the boyfriend isn’t allowed to grieve after what happened but if the genders were reversed it’d be a completely different story??♂️
Agree
I suggest you sit down and have this conversation with her. let her know you want her to be a part of your life for a long time but you are concerned. For the both of you, you should be able to have an open communication with each other about anything that effects the both of you. It will make you both better equipped for a long and happy relationship.
He’s the best thing that ever happened to you, this boyfriend with 2 girlfriends. The boyfriend that disregards your feelings and selfishly thinks it’s ok to lie about these things and ask you to lie for him. The boyfriend whom asks you not to tell others that he has two girlfriends.
Sounds like a catch, not. I would’ve left without blinking. Even if he did leave his first girlfriend, the changes are very high you’ll be his first and he’ll have a new second.
A healthy relationship is one where you can trust one another. Where you feel safe with eachother. Where you respect and feel respected. A healthy relationship doesn’t hide nasty secrets and disregard your feelings. This isn’t that relationship and it never will be.
Anyway, last week I found out she'd been texting the guy again. Apparently, it's nothing more than that, but as you can imagine, that's hot for me to believe.
Dealbreaker right there. Keeping in touch with an affair partner is never OK.
she says it was just texts and was stupid and was only sporadic,
No, it wasn’t just texts. It is a continuation of the betrayal. And it wasn’t stupid, it was a deliberate decision.
The guy was saved under a different name, and almost all messages were deleted.
That’s deliberate deception, not a stupid mistake. It’s also a string suggestion that they are sexting or making plans to meet in person. Or have already met in person and the deleted texts were discussing what they did.
weirdly, I don't want to taint people's opinions of her as I still love her..
That’s a very dangerous mindset. If you try to protect her reputation, she will twist the narrative to make you the bad guy. She’s already betrayed you. Twice. After you forgave her. What makes you think she won’t destroy your reputation to make herself look like the victim?