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Room for on-line sex video chat Texan_Kelly
Model from: us
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1983-09-12
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 22, 2022
I'd create a fake profile and ask her to meet up, she's planning on cheating anyway
idk about you but i for sure have eaten a 5 kg lasagna by myself before
I would totally back off and treat her the way she treats you. It doesn't sound like you are important to her, she said, if ” I will see if I have nothing to do ” . Sounds like she always has something to do. So back off and don't text her or call her and make her initiate. I also wouldn't be readily available when she does, like I said, she just doesn't sound that interested in you, sorry
bruh you are literally saying you despise poor people or people on a lower social position than you, but u translate this into saying you prefer an ambitious person just so u don't sound too rude. I don't know it just sounds very disrespectful, maybe you just worded it badly , but it's still pretty disrespectful and it makes it seem like you are one of those spoiled brats out there. You really would be one of those girls who would fall for one of those social experiments where the PIZZA DELIVERU GUY comes to you asking to go out on a date and after getting rejected opens his Lamborghini parked nearby watching as you then run back suddenly interested. I don't know I'd say get your priorities straight because a job does not define you as a person and does not define ambition.
Am I crazy for thinking that the only reason he would feel the need to hide it is because he has feelings for her?
No, you're not.
???????????
Manipulation, isolation. Red flag red flag. Get out of there now.
You do not need him. He wants you to need him because he is probably an abusive piece of shit. He wants you to choose? Choose friends who care and leave that idiot behind and live hour best life without him.
Maybe she crossed the line I wouldn’t do it, but it really isn’t that big a deal. So I’m glad you’re happy. Good luck to you. Thank you for telling me not that big a deal.
So why isn't she divorced? Is she kind of person who can't be single, and doesn't end one relationahip until she finds the next guy first? Why can't you simply tell her that you can't get involved with her since shd is still married?
I feel like this is missing some important context.
I guess so. It’s some intrinsic, instinctive primal bullshit programming. It makes me think less of men in general to be honest.
Throwing this out there, I think you should talk to a divorce lawyer sooner rather than later.
Understand the implications of separation, especially since you’re doing more housework, will probably do more if not all of the childcare, etc. And then discuss what evidence you need to bring to ensure that what you should be receiving actually gets to you.
Best case scenario, once it means money out of pocket, husband becomes a decent partner and stops acting like a dick to you. Worst case scenario, you’re protected if it comes to divorce.
Ok i mean tell that to her friend who literally experienced being locked up as a witness.
This sounds very unhealthy.
Have you heard of the book “Facing Codependence” by Pia Melody? It’s a good read.
You and your friend have a really unhealthy codependent relationship. You’ve both screwed up but now she’s also being manipulative and dragging your kids into it.
I think I’d stay away. You can wish someone well without setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.
If the rolls were reversed they'd be on here calling the man all names under the sun. But because I'm a man I get told to kill myself Instead
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You may have inadvertently discovered someone's fetish.
He has some really serious drug addiction.
Nobody can organise a life with a drug addict. (my personal experience).
You said it : ” (it)…isn't sustainable long term”. The absolute truth.
So couple clarification points needed:
how did he “throw” the cat? Like actually throw or more push?
why does he not like the cat? Has it attacked him before? Is he allergic? Is he just an asshole?
you likely won’t get in trouble, but try to control yourself; yelling and scolding him and kicking him out is fine, actually throwing shit at him is not.
Get a job, and have him do more chores.
What a terrible day for me to have eyes
How convenient he knew it was the wrong decision only after doing what he wanted…
Also isn’t it common knowledge a lot of the women who work in these places don’t do it out of choice and often only do it because they owe money to the person who owns the massage parlor? So he basically supported that terribleness too.
In another words… He cheated and on top of that, he paid money for it. Wow. I would have packed my bags the moment he confirmed.
That is intensely mean. Does your wife have this mean streak that bubbles up now and then?
If not, it's amazing on a level how we keep learning more about our loved ones over the years for better or worse. You may want to consider marriage counseling to explore what other disrespects she has held from you.
Ask her if she wants to get married to the wedding or to you?
already a good father. There is no room for another child
I’m 41f and for most of my life I’ve said I want to be child free. But at this point in my life, with my parents getting older I realize how much I love my family and I don’t want it to die with me or be left only to my niece. I’ve just been lucky that I’ve never settled for anyone so I have the opportunity to find someone that also wants more family to love. I don’t know if it’s even a possibility at this point but I’m not giving up. I don’t think your wife tricked you, she just had a change of heart with more love to give. If you can’t love her and the family she is craving to create then that is not fair to her.
Their career something they can do remotely? You said it'd make your commute nasty (3 hours is a metric shit ton).
How bad would it be for them at your place?
the fact that u thought that confirms to me that he wasnt making effort or time.
i get why u think that.
i dont think he was cheating other than with architecture. it was after he came back from canada in december he told me he was depressed and he slowly drifted. we would have sex just fine until like march when it all stopped and he went soft inside me it was weird
I totally get that, but she could have said that or acted according to that. All the time she was giving unrelated reasons. Even though i directly asked, isnit not fun or good anymore for you. She didnt tell me that. I just wished she was more direct and honest
This is a waste of his time snd energy
It probably won't be as bad as you think
This comment is not it, girl. Did you even finish reading the post before projecting all over it? It’s okay for a partner to (carefully and thoughtfully – which was clear from the post) ask if something they’re into sexually could be brought into the couple’s romantic life.
When my on again off again boyfriend threatened suicide one of the times we broke up, that was the LAST time we broke up. I called the cops on him. They took him into protective custody. I doubt he would have actually gone through with it (since just like in your case it was just a manipulation tactic to get me to stay), but that's all the more reason imo to call the cops on him. There are consequences to your actions. Stop treating this asshole so good and amazing and treat YOURSELF that way.
Maybe next time ask her if she can request the day off for a surprise. It gives her a little more control of what she is doing. If my SO tweaked my routine without my knowledge I’d lose my shit.
What on EARTH
Yeah I do think he won’t do something stupid without drinking
That’s not realistic to life.
just out of a respect I have for him.
Your respect is irrelevant to that issue.
It’s not that I don’t trust him specifically when drinking, I just don’t necessarily trust anyone intoxicated.
Your life is surrounded in it daily the only difference is your awareness.
I’m not with him during these times because I tend to self isolate away from events
You are removing yourself from socializing and being a positive option. You could be the fun responsible designated driver. You now helped your fears because you ensure nothing to reckless happens.
You isolating yourself also works against you. It means his social life is taking a different direction from you. You aren’t growing but hiding.
where I know alcohol will be present because of this fear in general… anyone I know drink makes me stressed.
Running from your fears never makes them go away. Only confronting them enough to see it was not as bad as you feared will help you.
She is wrong. Your reaction is very normal.
Get out get out get out!
Three months in and you are constantly checking her phone??
It seems like she isn't ready to commit to you, and you have no trust in her. It's time to call it quits and move on.
Now you've learned for next time to just avoid someone that hasn't moved on from an ex. It would also seem that you need to have a discussion at the beginning of relationships on your feelings on a partner still talking to exs.
Absolutely. I guess I was and am just shocked that someone can be in a full on long distance relationship in such a short time. Intend to take my time, get to know someone, date, and then be in relationship territory, so I can’t relate.
These problem causing women are a coven he’s right
Do you have friends you could celebrate with? Valentines doesnt always have to be romantic. Go on a friend date. Get a group of people. Gi get lunch. Schedule a spa day. Buy yourselves flowers and then go home, pile on the couch and floor, and watch a movie. Just because hes a party pooper doesnt mean you cant still have a party.
Um…. pretty sure she just broke up with you, and doesn't have it in here to flat out say so. I think you need to take the not so subtle hint that it's over my man…
Wait, how are you paying for travel if you are in between jobs?
INFO: is your gf supporting you in any way financially during this job/career change?
Libidos definition is simply the desire for sex, so I was using the term to refer to that, not to something more dietician like her biological sex drive.
Albeit yes it’s a weird suggestion but it wasn’t the first suggestion. It was only a suggestion if everything else had been exhausted. To include fundraising.
I’m concerning the abortion, she lied about her being ready and I was stupid enough to believe her, I ignored every red flag. It’s gonna be an expensive mistake
So youre an asshole.
Whats the issue then?
The “how do I manage being around someone hurtful…” absolutely killed me.
Mad respect to SIL for maintaining her boundaries and living her best life while OP obsesses over not being able to control her.
Well,
I would first take a deep breath. It’s very likely a scam. However, this is the risk you run in this industry and you need to decide how much risk you are willing to take.
Your boyfriend is right about your financial situation. You cannot maintain the lifestyle you have without continuing to make that much money.
However you also should only do sex work if you want to, and if you want to stop you should stop.
You guys should sit down and make an exist strategy. This will likely mean selling your car and anything else that is not paid off in full. If your housing costs more than you can afford without OF, you will need to plan to move.
Once you’ve got that all sorted, be done and quit.
While I don’t think you should make content if you are not comfortable, quitting cold turkey now will likely financially ruin you. Make a plan and get it done my friend
If he wants to fuck a cheese grater let him see how that goes for him ?? meanwhile you can spend your time on a different man who actually cares about your health
It sounds like you have insecurities you need to face. She’s been with other people and there isn’t anything wrong with that. Even if she has a list of names, she isn’t with them and she’s with you now. Erasing names won’t erase her past. I’m sure you’ve kept things from exes too. Just learn to deal with it and face your insecurities through therapy.
The phone charger thing? How selfish and rude. He could have used his own damned charger. He just doesn’t have any respect for you.
Add in the verbal abuse…and the fact you two can’t discuss parenting of your children? WTAF?
Part of our job as parents is to demonstrate healthy relationships for them to model. Even if you guys aren’t screaming at each other in front of the kids, they can feel the tension and it makes them more prone to anxiety disorders and other mental health issues.
See a therapist, talk to an attorney, and make an exit plan. He’s abusive!
The phone charger thing? How selfish and rude. He could have used his own damned charger. He just doesn’t have any respect for you.
Add in the verbal abuse…and the fact you two can’t discuss parenting of your children? WTAF?
Part of our job as parents is to demonstrate healthy relationships for them to model. Even if you guys aren’t screaming at each other in front of the kids, they can feel the tension and it makes them more prone to anxiety disorders and other mental health issues.
See a therapist, talk to an attorney, and make an exit plan. He’s abusive!
$120 per guy for the show seems about right. She’ll likely collect tips and linger for “private dances” all for an additional fee of course.
You cant force someone to have a higher sex drive, and oftentimes the initial whirlwind of sex at the beginning of a relationship fades out pretty drastically. At your age I would still expect more than what you've been getting lately. Its been a relatively short time since your problem started though.
I would want to know what my partner needs and considers “normal” for sex before deciding on how to move forward. It may be a core incompatibility for you. Especially if you have more adventurous ideas for sex and they tend to be more conservative.
Depression, stress, medications and other things can also lower a persons sex drive. Make the effort to understand how your partner is feeling overall.
I don't do it anymore.
She is afraid to see you because she probably suspects you have feelings for her still and that puts her in a really uncomfortable situation because she does not and will not ever feel the same way. I'm so sorry but there is nothing you could say or do to change that.
I think now is really the time to have a come to Jesus moment and make a change with your life. You can't change how she feels about you but you can pursue therapy to help with your self esteem and attachment so you can start dating and see how much better it feels when someone likes you back!
You seem to be well spoken and I'm sure you have so much to offer a potential partner. Please don't beat yourself up much, there's no sense in having guilt about the past. Just commit to changing things starting tomorrow.
Step 1 is to block her on all social media, delete all pictures. Everything. Write out all your feelings in a note for her. DO NOT send it, burn it. Make a therapy appointment. Live therapy is less expensive and many cities offer free mental health resources as well.
Step 2 is to focus on yourself again. Start getting back into those hobbies you enjoyed so much when you were young. Get out of the house and into nature more. Trying new things will boost your confidence and make you more experienced.
Best of luck
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I never understand people who say they are moral conflicted so if you were in his shoes you would want someone to tell you? You just want to live the false life that you been dating someone who you thinks cares for you but once you go home they are sleeping around behind your back.
There’s a good chance she’ll change if she surrounds herself with people who aren’t racist. I was raised religious conservative (though nowhere near as extreme as modern US conservatives) and when I was 21, I voted against gay marriage in my state. Then I moved out of my parents house and in with a roommate who had totally different views and I started opening my eyes to how terrible it was to judge people for harmless things they can’t control. I’m 45 now and pretty liberal and atheist.
You seriously damaged your body, to the point that you felt it necessary to visit UC. Put on your big boy pants, no one cares as much as you do (well maybe 1 person), in the broad spectrum of things this is insignificant.
It's weird that you dedicated that many paragraphs defending an objectively weird comment.
if that’s the worst thing that was said that night that you heard then be thankful for it because I would have expected far worse from a group of males.
What the fuck kind of men do you hang around with that you think she should be expecting “far worse” than men joking about having sex with her?
Dogs shouldn’t be sleeping in bed with you, that’s a reasonable boundary. In the guest room? Boyfriend doesn’t really have a say, fuck him. Especially if he snores.
The way I see it you have the meeting which cannot happen on another night, or his birthday which can happen anytime. The flexible approach is best here to get his input without him feeling obligated to give a certain answer. If the workshop is that important to you then just make the decision to go and plan a nice birthday dinner for him on a different day. It's not worth a compromise on your mental health just to schedule around his imaginary birthday lol.
It's very normal to feel like “my birthday is on the Mar 23rd and I'd love a celebration on the nearest day that works for us”; especially because some years it's on a workday, some years it's on someone's wedding (happened to me last year), some years it's on our partners important workshop. Now just because it's normal to feel that way doesn't mean he needs to think that way so just talk to him. This is one of those things that it's better to hear from him exactly what he wants, instead of stressing and scheduling your life around it when you don't even know if he cares. I have a friend that refuses any birthday celebration. I had a friend that gets resentful if he doesn't get x amount of gifts on their exact birthday. But like I said most people I know are flexible.
Why don’t you just ask her why she feels like you’re not listening?
‘Ok. We obviously aren’t on the same page. I want you to feel heard and I want to make sure I’m not missing something. What is it that makes you feel like I’m not listening? Was there something about my response that makes you feel like that?.
OP, I’m sorry you had to find out about your family like this. It sucks. I hope you are able to build yourself a new family in the future. Lot’s of people go no contact with their family of origin because they are toxic.
yes ofc but obviously my partner would also need to be my caregiver and I'm wondering if adding my care to this girls life would be good for her considering her mental health is not good
As a former swinger, when any couple asks about a threesome or swinging my answer is, don’t. It’s a really good way to torpedo a relationship/marriage in the best case scenario. My ex and I had one encounter spark the international kidnapping of two children. This can go so bad, so fast.
You should not be going through with IVF unless you as an individual absolutely 100% want to do it. No one should be pressuring you into it, the potential father included. Find a way to communicate that to him – a conversation, an email, a handwritten letter, whatever it needs to be. He needs to understand how you feel, and he needs to accept it. If he can't accept it, you shouldn't be having children with him anyway. I'm sorry you're struggling, and for the situation you're in. I hope it works out ok.
Shit like this is a real thing.
In Commie-fornia, a friend of mine stopped thieves from stealing a car part at gun point, they got scared and left with nothing. Friend calls cops and reports what happened thinking he was doing the right thing. Cops make contact with friend and he shows them video footage of what happened. Cops act like a-holes to friend stating they could lock him up for brandishing a weapon. They let my friend go but only after giving him shit for about 20 mins.
Ask her how Jack St. Jacques is doing.
News flash: Social media isn’t everything, not everyone wants to live their lives on it, looks can be deceiving, peoples opinions can change & just because you like something, doesn’t mean everyone else will.
Just because you want to plaster your relationship all over social media, it doesn’t mean he also wants to or has to. Posting might have been important to him before, but his priorities have probably changed (likely because of his ex). And for all you know, he may have felt like he was “forced” into something he didn’t want to do.
For what it’s worth, the older I get, the more I realise that the people who place a high value on “showing off” their relationships all over socials are the ones who are deeply insecure, or who are in fake relationships that lack substance, or are in deeply dysfunctional relationships.
Also. Going through your partners phone is not OK. That’s an invasion of privacy. You need to tell your partner.
Tysm !
bro, what does this chick have that keeps you diving back into the shit-filled abyss that is her life? When I hear things like this, I think of that Heath Ledger line in 10 Things I Hate About You: “What is it about this chick, does she have beer flavored nipples?”
Like, seriously, you've got your life together and she's a complete wreck with no intention of getting moving. No reason for you to delay your life for somebody that would likely NOT improve even if you brought her along with you as you rise.
Well – we're definitely beyond casual at this point.
And reading the comments so far, I start to understand that for some (many) people buying a house is really one central unit of their outlook in life – on a similar level such as kids or being politically left- or right-leaning etc.
I don't know yet what to make of that.
Well – we're definitely beyond casual at this point.
And reading the comments so far, I start to understand that for some (many) people buying a house is really one central unit of their outlook in life – on a similar level such as kids or being politically left- or right-leaning etc.
I don't know yet what to make of that.
Well – we're definitely beyond casual at this point.
And reading the comments so far, I start to understand that for some (many) people buying a house is really one central unit of their outlook in life – on a similar level such as kids or being politically left- or right-leaning etc.
I don't know yet what to make of that.
Record EVERYTHING. Put in writing to him that you are not interested. Don't go back to your place and do what is necessary to make sure you aren't followed. Ask your teachers if you can do live if it's possible to lesson opportunities for him to find you in person. Are there students in your class that seem approachable? If someone came up to me and told me they were scared of another student and they just wanted other people to know what is going on, I would be getting everyone I knew to join in and help keep this guy under watch and away from you. Just having more people aware of the situation can be helpful. The more people know, the harder it will be for this kid to be protected from consequences and intervention.
Record EVERYTHING. Put in writing to him that you are not interested. Don't go back to your place and do what is necessary to make sure you aren't followed. Ask your teachers if you can do live if it's possible to lesson opportunities for him to find you in person. Are there students in your class that seem approachable? If someone came up to me and told me they were scared of another student and they just wanted other people to know what is going on, I would be getting everyone I knew to join in and help keep this guy under watch and away from you. Just having more people aware of the situation can be helpful. The more people know, the harder it will be for this kid to be protected from consequences and intervention.
It sounds like it is time for two cards – divorce or therapy. You are allowing your wife to treat you like her slave.
I would reconsider dating someone stupid enough to buy that kind of scammy crap….
But I don’t think it’s evidence of cheating, it’s a “nutritional supplement” that claims to increase testosterone and manliness over time. It’s not viagra which is used for immediate sex.
If this got cross posted to r/AmItheAsshole the comments section would probably give you a lot of insight into your behavior- which is terrible from start to finish between objectifying your wife who sounds more like a sex slave then an equal partner in your marriage, to trying to gaslight your best friend.
Hi. Thank you for your response. Umm, kissing is a far fetched idea. I'd really like it if we at least held hands occasionally. Or if he had hugged me when he saw me. I appreciate the fact that he is a gentleman and he is not as physical as all the men I've dated in the past. But, I just feel a little awkward and that makes me question, is he attracted enough to me? I hope I do make sense?
I never lied to him, i won’t do that
Sounds psychotic. Even if he doesn't like it, no reason to be a dickhead.
Thats not dodgy because you wernt together.
The more of your comments i read the more i think this is a fake post. No one could be this stun.
I agree
Right, and also claimed he met the girl elsewhere besides church, work or something.
I agree, in the beginning that kind of seems to slip in there and time went by fast.. but is not doable on the long run. Even though we did have growth, some of it did not feel like I was still my true self and he probably wasnt either. I love him, but sometimes that might not be enough.
I absolutely don't plan on being single forever lol but things like these definitly seem like lessons I had to learn.
You're putting in 30K deposit and paying into the mortgage, you need to be on the deeds too
Oh, my god.
Two posts from the vajoobjoob troll.
What a day.
What a blessing.
How so? She's an independent woman so she can do whatever she wants, without needing my permission. How is that controlling?
You're judging me based on ONE word that I already said was a mistake.
Ppl will give you bullshit about personality but realistically but only care about your looks and how much money you have
Make more money, go to the gym more and eat less food
Women don’t want projects, they wait for the winner at the finish line.
Control what you can control. Good luck on the grind! Stay strong
Just start talking to bitches. Get rejected 100 times. Fuck it what u got to lose. I mean, I’ve pretty much always had a girl but if I didn’t I’m sure I’d fucking find one
I super second this.
My right to choose who I want to be with. I don't want to be with a “liberated” woman and I say liberated because the auto mod post above says I will be permanent banned if I use the term I mean. For me a woman who sexualizes herself for social media isn't a good choice and so far in my experiences never have been anything less than the absolute worst cheaters and liars.
I don't think people should be violent even if it's just to animals.
I don’t, but at the same time I understand everyone is who they are at the end of the day. I feel dumb staying, I did try to use this to breakup. I ended up feeling so guilty and bad that we linked up later that day.
OP, your parents should have no reason to feel unsafe coming to visit you unless your father assaults you again. If he doesn’t, then all will be well. You should remind them of that.
Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate vows. I can't remember the author, but I would be wary of relying on the grand gestures you're describing as a confirmation of love. In a lot of ways, it's way easier to do those things than to be consistently kind, patient, and understanding on a daily basis.
This is exactly why my I didn’t get married to someone I loved dearly. I was 29 and was 10-20% pro kid/80-90% no kids. My wonderful BF at the time, 34 was 60% pro-kid. And he started hinting after about a year that I would ‘come around eventually’.
I ended up getting married about 4 years later to a man who had 3 kids and a vasectomy who was a wonderful dad and his ex was a wonderful mom.
My ex-wonderful BF got married within a year of breaking up and had 4 kids with his wife.
It was sooooo hard to break up. So nude to say nope to him.
But a life of husband and kids would have suffocated me at the time.
It’s her body, and her choice. She’s 35 and obviously doesn’t want kids, let alone the health risks she could face.
Don’t romanticize pregnancy when you’re not the one who has to suffer it.
Stop trying to justify what you said. Judging by your fiancées reaction, she's not fully decided on whether she wants kids, she might want them down the road but not yet.
Swap out the “corporate party” for “study hall” and yep pretty much
This. ThisThisThisThisThisThisThis.
People who are excited by cheating are RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Sorry the first response was shitty.
I wish I had advice, but I have a similar problem & I wanted to see any suggestions that might be helpful.
Good luck!
Definitely tell him before you try to get intimate. But don't try to get intimate if you still feel unsure.
You ended it the minute you chose to put your dick in a place it shouldn't be.
he had stopped giving me compliments
Emotional manipulation
It feels like I failed as a wife and don’t deserve anything due to it. Making the victim feel guilty
He also knows I suffer from extreme bouts of depression
Manipulators will target your weakest points
he expects everything spotless
1950s mentality.
this relationship will become transactional. I feel backed into a corner that if I don’t clean to his standards I don’t deserve a hug or a kiss or a date or any form of non platonic interaction
Emotional manipulation
I felt this way and he said he can’t make me feel better or be in a better mood if things aren’t as what he said. It’s making me horribly depressed.
Mental manipulation
I also can’t wrap my head around how not having a 100% spotless home 24.7 can relate to such a withdrawal in his affection for me. I just don’t get it
Gaslighting
OP, find a woman's group to help you escape.
Get a side job and hide all that money. You're going to need it when you run. Do you have friends or relatives you can live with for a while? Has he socially isolated you yet?
If you both have to communicate issues in your relationship through texts you already had issues in this relationship long before it degraded to where it is now.
He is engaging in emotional abuse. Affection shouldn't be a reward for doing what he wants. He also should be able to ask you for tasks around the house without being manipulative about it.
No kid is born bad, but neglect and chaotic family life forces them to figure stuff out on their own, which is difficult. There are so many different factors that contribute to a child being angry and/or violent. To put the blame simply on a child – a literal child, that gets put into this world in need of guidance and support! – is super unfair to them. Being a parent is a hot job, but turning your back and shifting blame has never solved a problem like this.
Post has them both being abusive, and nowhere in his account does he beat her. There two 20 year olds who had a baby at 17 and have batshit families. I don’t envy them.
I so agree. This shit is terrifying.
THIS! I love the mature ultimatum, especially that I’m aware of what I can bring to the table and none of which is up to be taken for granted. I just need to pick the time and the technique as he gets defensive and considers everything an argument
Sure buddy
Can confirm with the snail.
Ditto about the boyfriend
He was wrong to call you such names even though his words came from place of hurt. It was childish yes and doesn’t represent who you are as a person.
But he was hurt none the less. And it’s too early to have such issues in a relationship and too early to spend energy fixing such issues – all of that didn’t seem worth to him.
Tbh in honeymoon period couples are usually very engrossed with each other. And you staring at other guy might have made him feel like you aren’t THAT into him after all.
I’m not speaking for your feelings, but that certainly the message you sent him.
Nobody feels good about their partner checking out other people, regardless how many decades they’re together.
Shoulda put that /s on my post, I guess
I hope for your gf that you break up with her, you are clearly childish and uncompromising and she deserves better tbh.
Hmm now I'm wondering what if both the partners never discussed about this before? Say, yes, they've discussed about porn and what their boundaries are towards it. But if one of the partners was just curious and decided to download an AI chat app and starts texting and the other partner doesn't know about this, then what? This sudden AI boom does make everybody curious about it, after all
Well sit her down and talk to her, see if she will tell you. You can’t just sit there and wonder about it till you ask.
Do you think you should have to push and force the idea on someone? Do you like when people do that to you?
Do you hear the words coming out of his mouth that he’s not ready? Sounds like he’s told you over and over, so no you don’t have a right to be upset that he bought you a cheap ring and you jumped to conclusions that you shouldn’t have.
Trying to force him into a commitment he doesn’t want is going to drive him away. Best case you can try to show gratitude for the gift, apologize for your behavior and have a calm and rational discussion about your future together.
Do you think you should have to push and force the idea on someone? Do you like when people do that to you?
Do you hear the words coming out of his mouth that he’s not ready? Sounds like he’s told you over and over, so no you don’t have a right to be upset that he bought you a cheap ring and you jumped to conclusions that you shouldn’t have.
Trying to force him into a commitment he doesn’t want is going to drive him away. Best case you can try to show gratitude for the gift, apologize for your behavior and have a calm and rational discussion about your future together.
Do you think you should have to push and force the idea on someone? Do you like when people do that to you?
Do you hear the words coming out of his mouth that he’s not ready? Sounds like he’s told you over and over, so no you don’t have a right to be upset that he bought you a cheap ring and you jumped to conclusions that you shouldn’t have.
Trying to force him into a commitment he doesn’t want is going to drive him away. Best case you can try to show gratitude for the gift, apologize for your behavior and have a calm and rational discussion about your future together.
If she’s contemplating breaking up over this, there must be a lot more than 2 examples or she’s been looking for a reason to break up or she’s ridiculous.
Because he is the love of my life and I feel like this one problem shouldn't split us up then we was never a strong couple? it's just me personally I find it embarrassing to tell him I don't wanna make him feel embarrassed other than that he is a perfect boyfriend
I already told him I’d get back to on everything.
Oh, ick. Did you really have to write those words? Really regretting having eyes right now ?
See this is the problem.
Is men, we are simple creatures. We do pretty much the bare minimum we need to do in order to get laid, until a certain age where we snap out of it and will start pursuing a fulfilling loving relationship.
It’s you women that set our standards. SET HIGHER STANDARDS FFS.
He nutted on you (so went in raw on a first date) then had you go home sweaty and cummy. AND YET your still here going ‘but it was a good date so I may see him again’. So whatever he is doing works. Why would he change? Why would he bother treating you, or any other women with respect when he can get away with not?
I can see how people in healthy relationships who have very strict boundaries and a strong self esteem can't quite comprehend how someone might feel forced by such (truly pathetic) displays of emotional manipulation. Unfortunately some people, especially those who have experienced prior victimization, might not have those strong foundations to fall back on when the boundary pushing starts and they find their boundaries constantly disregarded and violated.
In cases like OP where someone constantly gets guilt-tripped until they “consent” to sex, it's a gradual escalation with more and more outrageous tactics being employed until the person is so worn down they don't see it worth the hassle to say no in the first place. Might as well lie back and think of queen of england to avoid the argument and dramatics that would follow a “no”. The escalation follows the idea of a “frog in a kettle”, where you slowly increase the heat until the frog boils alive.
It's a similar type of conflict-avoidance someone might develop with an irrationally jealous or controlling partner, where you “choose your battles” because trying to assert yourself feels too taxing emotionally, and in the end you find yourself steeped in learned helplessness that makes you feel completely powerless to assert yourself. Abusive people are incredibly good at making normally functional and self-respecting adults find themselves in situations they never thought they'd accept.
So if it helps you understand the tactic a bit better, think of it as emotional abuse that is geared to manipulate someone into having sex they don't want.
I'm genuinely happy to hear you haven't been in such a relationship. Thank you for considering what I was saying.
It’s your honeymoon. Hang in for the rest of the trip and talk when you get back. Obviously a honeymoon is going to be more sex than usual.
Consent obtained via coercion is not actually consent.
If you beg, whine, threaten, manipulate, hurt, or just go on and on about it until she gives in just to get it over with and get you to shut up and leave her alone, congrats, you've just used coercion to obtain sexual access.
And if you obtain consent via coercion, congrats, you've just sexually abused/raped the person who you're supposed to respect and care about.
Consent should always be freely given, enthusiastic, and acknowledged and respected as something that can be withdrawn at any point during sex.
Your relationship is already over, you just haven’t fully separated yet. It’s totally reasonable to want to go into college while single. It’s not reasonable to expect to have a happy summer with your girlfriend before you break up. I think you need to end things now.
I mean, there's not a lot of context, but a lot of people do really only consider a successful relationship with a guy one where he makes a considerable amount of money.
In my experience if a woman is well off, dating a man that's not, he's a loser, but if a man is well off, and the woman isn't, usually people don't see much of a problem.
Not fucking other people isn't complicated.
That's not true at all. For instance, a software engineer gets paid more than a teacher, but they are not working longer or harder. A software engjneer is not working longer or harder than a bartender or waitress. One does not beget the other.
It's also not true that they invested more in their education, necessarily. As there are plenty of dropout coders and college educated bartenders.
Prostate massage is great for a dude's orgasm. Maybe he is afraid you aren't very open-minded and is hiding it from you.
However he is using it, you are violating his privacy by snooping, which is a huge dealbreaker.
So, without saying “love”, tell me what you get out of this marriage.
What tangible, emotional, specific benefit does being in this relationship provide? Love is not an answer here because it's vague and easy to hide behind. List specifically what you get out of this relationship. Specifically what makes your life better by being in this relationship.
This doesn't sound like a fulfilling relationship. Or a partnership.
You sound resentful and burnt out. Unhappy. I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't be happy either.
So, what do you get out of this marriage?
What does marriage mean to you? What do you want marriage to look like for you? In your current marriage, are you happy? If no, what would need to change in order for you to be happy? Can you realistically see your husband making those changes? If yes, what steps do you think need to be made to start seeing those changes? Therapy? If no, what do you plan on doing about that?
Where do you want to be in 5 years? What would your ideal life look like? What steps would you need to take to shape that future?
The best advice anyone can give you is not on how to make your husband view your family as his own. He isn't going to. You've been together for nearly 2 decades at this point. If he doesn't treat your family as his own by now, he isn't going to. Nothing you say or do is going to change that. The best advice you can get is to think reflectivity on your life as it is, and determine if you are happy. If you aren't, determine what changes need to be made so you can be happy. They may be little changes, they may be much bigger changes. But only you know what those changes need to be.
My advice to you is to break up today and get it over with. Breakups are always naked but you will certainly not regret it
I appreciate this. Tomorrow I sit down to work this all out. Also work out how to increase my earnings. I know how much he has and how much makes. We are both poor, he doesn't have it.
I know i get a say, but he will create such a heavy environment that would affect my daughter. I just try to keep the peace. I let my daughter be free when he isn't home. But she knows well to follow the rules when he is home. I hate that, because I feel guilty that I am undermining him, but I just want moments for her to feel free.
Do not listen to this dude in the comment above. There's nothing wrong with being a woman sitting alone in a bar for a beer ( I do that too sometimes after work because its nice to people watch and just relax). If you want to compromise on the money side maybe you could just go every other day after work?