You make those views work by hashing them out in therapy ??♀️ honestly, have an objective third party mediate your conversation is insanely helpful because they’re there to help you find your common ground. Typically there’s more in common than we realize, it’s just stuck behind our own views and fears of disappointing the other person. I think it would be worth it to sit down with an MFT and do some premarital counseling.
Someone suggesting that you’ve created a problem in a post that starts with hey guys I fucked up is not the same as calling you crazy. She texted him at 4 on new years. a stupid meme. I got after hours memes from cousins I see ever three years on Mew Years. Did he initiate it? Have you asked him to block her or set boundaries with her? No one is calling you crazy by suggesting you work on the jealousy and insecurity that you described and named in your post. Therapy doesn’t = crazy. You can have feelings about this woman pining for your husband without punishing him and hurting your relationship over it. There are other ways!
Your girlfriend is an adult. Is she wants to get her nails done and smoke, she is allowed to do this. If it is a deal breaker for you, then you should break up and find a non smoker who hates getting manicures. Saying that, the other behaviour displayed is not healthy and signs of a lack of trust or respect. Have a serious conversation about why you find these things to be so disrespectful, and consider the fact that this relationship is simply toxic. You are scolding her for things like appearance and lifestyle, and she in turn is disrespectful of your work and privacy. I don’t want to say that it’s beyond repair, but serious communication is needed on both sides. Explain to her why you feel so frustrated, but also realise that you have been unfair on your expectations of her based on your preferences.
I for one, do not shower with any other girl and I am a girl. I never found that of stuff to be considered “normal”. I guess depending on your relationship with the guy you have to figure out if that type of stuff is ok.
Have you tried talking to her?? Being the friend in this situation SUCKS.
I have a 25 year friendship (since 1998…) We ended up hooking up in our 20s during debauchery days and it felt weird for both. Mutual just friends decision.
He told his now wife this happened and now he barely speaks to me because it makes her uncomfortable…
I WOULD NEVER cheat on my husband (who he is friends with!) and he WOULD NEVER cheat on his wife. I was even invited to their wedding… that hurt. And it was so fucking awkward because I’m friends with the entire friend group. Even now with kids stuff, she won’t let go of her jealousy and it’s such a weird, awkward, unnecessary rift.
Above all, I wish she talked to me about her feelings which I would still be open to. I’m friends with all of my other guys friends wives. Some are my best friends! If I wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me, that would be the case. But we both don’t want that.
I agree. The only closure that should happen here is OP deleting and blocking every way he has to contact her and then use her vacation money and time to go somewhere that is not on the American continent.
Oh my god this comment is gold. And you’re right! I still do all the housework and laundry and kids and school runs and errands and etc. oh my god I need a tool soulmate.
I can agree on that though OP didn't elaborate much on how the conversation went when she brought it up. He may have apologized. Maybe not. We don't really know but I agree he needs to understand that she's sensitive about her parts, as many women tend to be, and he can accommodate for that in the future as he writes his terrible jokes.
It's normal, alomost no one wants to share that stiff with their partners.
You make those views work by hashing them out in therapy ??♀️ honestly, have an objective third party mediate your conversation is insanely helpful because they’re there to help you find your common ground. Typically there’s more in common than we realize, it’s just stuck behind our own views and fears of disappointing the other person. I think it would be worth it to sit down with an MFT and do some premarital counseling.
Someone suggesting that you’ve created a problem in a post that starts with hey guys I fucked up is not the same as calling you crazy. She texted him at 4 on new years. a stupid meme. I got after hours memes from cousins I see ever three years on Mew Years. Did he initiate it? Have you asked him to block her or set boundaries with her? No one is calling you crazy by suggesting you work on the jealousy and insecurity that you described and named in your post. Therapy doesn’t = crazy. You can have feelings about this woman pining for your husband without punishing him and hurting your relationship over it. There are other ways!
This
Your girlfriend is an adult. Is she wants to get her nails done and smoke, she is allowed to do this. If it is a deal breaker for you, then you should break up and find a non smoker who hates getting manicures. Saying that, the other behaviour displayed is not healthy and signs of a lack of trust or respect. Have a serious conversation about why you find these things to be so disrespectful, and consider the fact that this relationship is simply toxic. You are scolding her for things like appearance and lifestyle, and she in turn is disrespectful of your work and privacy. I don’t want to say that it’s beyond repair, but serious communication is needed on both sides. Explain to her why you feel so frustrated, but also realise that you have been unfair on your expectations of her based on your preferences.
I for one, do not shower with any other girl and I am a girl. I never found that of stuff to be considered “normal”. I guess depending on your relationship with the guy you have to figure out if that type of stuff is ok.
All is good. Don’t overthink it.
Have you tried talking to her?? Being the friend in this situation SUCKS.
I have a 25 year friendship (since 1998…) We ended up hooking up in our 20s during debauchery days and it felt weird for both. Mutual just friends decision.
He told his now wife this happened and now he barely speaks to me because it makes her uncomfortable…
I WOULD NEVER cheat on my husband (who he is friends with!) and he WOULD NEVER cheat on his wife. I was even invited to their wedding… that hurt. And it was so fucking awkward because I’m friends with the entire friend group. Even now with kids stuff, she won’t let go of her jealousy and it’s such a weird, awkward, unnecessary rift.
Above all, I wish she talked to me about her feelings which I would still be open to. I’m friends with all of my other guys friends wives. Some are my best friends! If I wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me, that would be the case. But we both don’t want that.
All I can say is WOOOOOooooWw
I think youre overestimating how often that happens.
I agree. The only closure that should happen here is OP deleting and blocking every way he has to contact her and then use her vacation money and time to go somewhere that is not on the American continent.
Oh my god this comment is gold. And you’re right! I still do all the housework and laundry and kids and school runs and errands and etc. oh my god I need a tool soulmate.
Rude? Can’t it be nice to mention, but neutral not to?
It's all fake anyway. It's sad that you're boyfriend is so gullible. Tell him to have fun and he'll be by himself
I can agree on that though OP didn't elaborate much on how the conversation went when she brought it up. He may have apologized. Maybe not. We don't really know but I agree he needs to understand that she's sensitive about her parts, as many women tend to be, and he can accommodate for that in the future as he writes his terrible jokes.
*Iranian