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Date: October 10, 2022
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Nobody is obligated to go to events. We also have no context about your relationship, her relationship with your mom, and maybe your GF is the type that doesn't go events or would find this uncomfortable.
(1) She is pregnant – she has enough stress to deal with. It's selfish and just horrible to not think about the effect on the other person, so autism is not the only thing I'm thinking about. (2) I worked with children on the spectrum (and their parents) for many years in my first career. There is nothing wrong with being autistic, and I fully support neurodiversity, but it's not ableist to want to have a healthy baby. Read “Far From the Tree;” the book deals directly with both recognizing that autistic people deserve treatment and love and respect and a place in our society, and dealing with the reality that having a neurodivergent child is painful and difficult for parents and child alike. To be clear, yes most autistic people do lead full and joyful lives, but many end up institutionalized – which I saw first hand in my last career. I worked with them. It's quite reductive to say that me fearing for the child's health is shitty. What am I missing?
What is wrong with not wanting the child and the parents to go through
Go check his YouTube and internet history, it sounds like he’s been recently redpilled. I’m so sorry he has turned on you like this. You do not deserve it. Try couples counseling if he’s open it it. If not he might be lost, I’m so sorry.
I appreciate your insight. The good thing is I would get an apartment in an area of the city in close proximity with a lot of my friends. So while I would have my own place, I would have a lot of friends I can spend time with if I ever felt super lonely.
Need way more context than they don’t want to date you because you have a guy “best friend “.
However a lot of men have lost their SO to a male best friend, male coworker etc. before. SOs were told there’s nothing to worry about, just friends, purely plutonic, like a brother to me etc only to find out they had a dating/sexual past or went out on “not dates” together, told the guy best friend everything including intimate details of theirs sex lives & more. Or the guy friend didn’t want to commit to a relationship w her so they were just friends that also had benefits.
So when guys hear a woman has a male best friend they don’t want anything to do w her because either they’ve been burned by the guy best friend or he’s had a friend get burned in a relationship from a guy best friend.
A lot of people, me included, believe people in committed relationships should not have “best friends “ of the opposite sex. Not saying you can’t have a friend who is a guy but the best friend part is the problem. Because best friends do a lot together. They go so different things together, talk about relationships, often spend a ton of time together etc. So men don’t want to try and compete for your time w another guy regardless if he’s a best friends or not.
Some times guy best friends would really like to have a dating relationship w the woman but won’t tell her and she’s oblivious about it. So the guy friend will tell her the guy she’s dating isn’t good enough for her or he’ll point out things that’s wrong w him so she won’t date him so he can still have her to himself even if they aren’t dating. The best friend role works good.
There have been men to test to get the girl to call her male best friend and ask if he would date her or hook up w her. These women are oblivious to the fact most male friends are there waiting for the chance to be w her. But she doesn’t believe her friend would do that.
So they make the call and ask to which almost all of the make best friends say something along the lines of “I didn’t think you’d ever ask of course I’ll date you or hook up w you etc. which leaves them speechless because they thought the friendship was just friends.
So there are some reasons men don’t want to date a woman w male best friends.
One woman I read about only had male friends. Not a single female friend. The guy didn’t want to date her because of all the guy friends she had. They went bar hopping together, drank together, danced together etc
Men don’t want to be in competition w other men for your time.
Yep mostly mine ? but no. I can't. And I've said that too. I always thought I didn't want kids, but to be honest I'm not sure if I just don't want kids with him specifically. I don't want to be doing all the work.