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SuzannaSirene Public Chat Channel
Date: December 19, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
SuzannaSirene Public Chat Channel
Sounds like it was a joke. Are you in therapy?
It sounds like he is having some anxiety. Sometimes with anxiety, someone can want to proceed even while experiencing the anxiety. Anxiety is often worries that someone knows are not actually proportional or reasonable. Like he doesn’t want his fears to stop the two of you from doing something you both want.
I have anxiety. I know sometimes my worries prevent me from fully enjoying things, but I suck it up and keep living my life. I’m not going to prevent my children from doing normal things just because I am experiencing anxiety.
He could try anxiety medication or counseling. Or it could fade on its own. Or maybe it will be manageable.
Right now I think he isn’t ready to intentionally actively try because it feels too scary but he is willing to open the door as a maybe it will happen and he would be ok with it. Anxiety is often increased when there are too many choices. Sometimes is anxiety less when the decision is out of your hands. It’s a legit strategy to manage things sometimes if anxiety is keeping you from making an active decision.
This is not your fault. You are not pushing him. He is just dealing with how his brain is failing him at the moment and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want kids.
I don’t blame you for feeling angry.
Neither that co worker or your gf did a damn thing to put any temptation in check when it all first started. In life, there is always going to be unexpected temptations, loyal faithful people learn how to spot the signs and immediately stomp it out. These two clowns went ahead and took to complaining to each other about you and his wife, escalated to texting off work hours and personal, to allowing this to develop full bloom. And now their ingenious plan was to confess this to you and his wife because they have some kind of romanticized ideology that it will better their relationship with spouse and bf? Life is not that simple and that’s almost as stupid as folks who think opening the relationship or taking breaks will fix things.
Yeah, I am sure you and his wife feel sooo much better and stronger in your relationships now that these two clown shoes came forward and shared just how much they really suck at maintaining boundaries and stave off temptation. This is the huge concern right here really. What about the next temptation, and the one after that that comes her way?
If there is even a little chance of fixing this,she or he will need a new place to work. She will need to learn not only how to set boundaries, and not allow anyone to to cross lines with her, but how to spot temptation and squash it, as well as not putting herself in situations like this. I am not sure you could ever be confident that she can do that.
Tell her you love her, and love your child. Tell her you feel awful that the situation is what it is, but you don't want to risk your marriage and a stable loving home for your current child to have another one.
This isn't a “grin and bear it” time, this is “should we take a VERY big risk of divorce?”
Then think about if she's willing to risk divorce for another child, how invested is she in your current marriage and family?
Stop listening in to his therapy sessions. It’s like reading his messages. He deserves privacy and to vent his feelings. He sounds like an amazing partner. Letting you make the choices for yourself but letting his feelings out in therapy. Don’t keep the fetus for him to have a baby, if you don’t want to be pregnant though.. it sounds like you guys need to have a talk.
>but my failed advances hit my insecurities and leave me horny and slightly depressed. We have very open communication and are doing well in pretty much every other part of our relationship
These two sentences don't match. If you're making advances at him, and he doesn't know you're making advances (“they failed”), then I don't know if you're communicating it with him correctly.
>I often try impromptu blow jobs that sometimes work and sometimes just seem to bore him.
Kink friendly doesn't mean enjoying ALL types of sex acts. For example, I'm kink friendly, but I hate receiving oral sex, and I never met a woman before who actually made it feel good.
>or if there’s anything I can do to more successfully encourage more sex.
Do you two actually communicate? Does he actually like you? Why is he even dating you?