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If only you were 34 you would be perfect, if you never change your weight you would be perfect, if only you had more life experience you would be perfect.
None of these are within your control.
To scold you for these things is just another way to keep you under control, to not believe in yourself, to kill your confidence and self work so you will never look elsewhere or at anyone else because you are so imperfect that only he can put up with you.
This is how abusive relationships work. Healthy ones have respect, trust and open communication, they don't involve constantly being reminded you put on weight or that you are not good enough for them.
If that were true then why are they still with you?
Be perfect for yourself, be the person you want to be with people around you that support you and don't constantly tell you that you are not good enough. Don't believe that crap. Let him find someone that is perfect for him instead whilst you enjoy being 23 and go out and have fun instead of worrying about a 34yr old that has grandma looking after him still.
I do think a therapist could definitely help. Seems like you may be prone to overthinking some things, which I definitely relate to, and therapists are great for validating feelings while helping you recognize irrational or illogical thought processes. I don't think you're stupid, you're still fairly young and figuring out how to navigate relationships isn't easy.
I think if you make sure to tell her that you don't want her to feel bad or guilty for spending time with her friends she'll hopefully take your word for that. Communicating that your intentions are purely to let her know what your current feelings are so that you can get support for working through it should ideally help her understand you're not upset at her, just being honest.
I will say that the jealousy isn't going to immediately go away and never come back. It can feel really bad, but it can also be a useful tool to help you recognize that you might have a need that's not being met. In this case I think that need may just be to feel secure in your relationship. Sometimes some folks also feel jealousy more frequently and strongly than others and need a little extra help to process those feelings.
Yeah fine but there can still be lots of other reasons, what if he got a load of messages and yours is off screen for example. Personally I don’t know why you didn’t walk over to him when you saw him (if possible of course) or even just give him a quick call: Sending messages to people tells you absolutely nothing, has the message been delivered? Why isn’t it read yet? They are showing as live? Also the actual messages that you send others as well as the messages that you receive tell you nothing either, it’s so so easy to misconstrue what someone has said in a message, did they mean this? Did they mean that? Are they blowing hard? Or cold? Do they like me don’t they?
Literally everyone these days reads way into messages these days and they assume the worst or what they have assumed is never what the person sending the message meant.
So pick up your mobile phone and call him thinking of something to say beforehand like does he want to hang out as you Americans call it and literally just a single minute conversation on the phone with him will tell you everything and more about where you stand because you will be able to read what he is saying to you verbally, how he talks, the way he talks, the way he comes across etc.
Sounds like undiagnosed bipolar maybe..?