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Date: October 12, 2022
I just keep finding something that's a flag. It's been almost 3 years dude.
I want to emphasize that it doesn't matter how long a relationship lasts if it's a toxic and controlling one. Most abusive people (she is abusing and gaslighting you btw) do not change and they especially don't change while they can continue to abuse.
I understand that you feel trapped in this because you love her but it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work. It takes respect and kindness. Do you think she shows you that?
She just seems eccentric and frankly not that into you 😐
I have a lot of strong opinions, some may call snobish, on food, clothing, drinks and audio quality etc. I had a hot time dating for a long time because most people didn't meet my expectations. I finally found someone who matches my opinions and we have good laughs about it.
Emotional affairs always involve secrecy. Plus they discuss personal stuff (marriage, life goals). You can bet they no longer talk about kids.
And you can bet your wife is leading him to believe she's unhappily married (to justify and encourage his attention).
She probably believes it's harmless and she's in control. That it will never escalate to adultery.
The test is: if she hesitates to chose her husband over the other man, then there's an inappropriate emotional connection.
Nothing kills inappropriate behavior like exposure.
Just show up the park. Introduce yourself . State that you are aware your wife has a secret boyfriend – and want to meet him.
Ask why he's interested in a married woman with kids. Clearly you don't talk about kids. So what's the attraction?