What does this mean a) in relationship to this thread b)in relationship to the problem?
Your reply to me is filled with buzzy words but I don't understand how they relate to the conversation. It really doesn't address what she's actually discussing: investigating him professionally because she feels crazy. What is the OP meant to do with this information about DARVO?
Abusers DAVRO. However, people raised by abusers also DARVO since that is the only communication style they know. He describes coming from a home that was abusive and cast out a member for their orientation. Neither seem like they have done any self work and both partners need therapy, individual therapy. At a minimum they don't know how to talk to each other as a couple. More likely, they have issues that are triggering each others' issues.
She doesn't need to investigate him. Sounds like that that was done and matches his backstory. There is no sense in spending hundreds to reinvestigate him. That's why I suggested therapy for them both. She needs to figure out why she married someone she lacks fundamental knowledge of.
Otherwise, there is no action she can take for his secretiveness. All she can do is ask for what she needs and see if he will do anything differently. Ask for him to try therapy or divorce him for doing nothing to improve the current, unworkable situation.
It's great you know what DARVO is, but it took me a long time to figure out how it applied here to someone asking about literally hiring a PI. People who are in the middle of situations aren't really going to be helped by a demonstration of DARVO knowledge. Lots of folks can only come to understand DARVO and how its used on them through therapeutic work long after the relationship is over.
You’ve been together for eight years? Did I read that right? A twelve year old with a sixteen year old? And you started to be intimate when you were still considered a minor? Not sure how to give advice on the situation. But being romantically involved with someone at such a young age would surely cause some problems.
I see you are incapable of having a productive conversation. Good day.
Is there anything off other than her weight? Maybe it would help to raise that subject instead of talking about weight directly.
“Out of control”? Lol, what’s next, “She’s showing signs of hysteria?” There aren’t even any specifics here besides deleting Instagram pics.
What does this mean a) in relationship to this thread b)in relationship to the problem?
Your reply to me is filled with buzzy words but I don't understand how they relate to the conversation. It really doesn't address what she's actually discussing: investigating him professionally because she feels crazy. What is the OP meant to do with this information about DARVO?
Abusers DAVRO. However, people raised by abusers also DARVO since that is the only communication style they know. He describes coming from a home that was abusive and cast out a member for their orientation. Neither seem like they have done any self work and both partners need therapy, individual therapy. At a minimum they don't know how to talk to each other as a couple. More likely, they have issues that are triggering each others' issues.
She doesn't need to investigate him. Sounds like that that was done and matches his backstory. There is no sense in spending hundreds to reinvestigate him. That's why I suggested therapy for them both. She needs to figure out why she married someone she lacks fundamental knowledge of.
Otherwise, there is no action she can take for his secretiveness. All she can do is ask for what she needs and see if he will do anything differently. Ask for him to try therapy or divorce him for doing nothing to improve the current, unworkable situation.
It's great you know what DARVO is, but it took me a long time to figure out how it applied here to someone asking about literally hiring a PI. People who are in the middle of situations aren't really going to be helped by a demonstration of DARVO knowledge. Lots of folks can only come to understand DARVO and how its used on them through therapeutic work long after the relationship is over.
You’ve been together for eight years? Did I read that right? A twelve year old with a sixteen year old? And you started to be intimate when you were still considered a minor? Not sure how to give advice on the situation. But being romantically involved with someone at such a young age would surely cause some problems.
Did you check to see if you’re related to your Mom? What if you were switched at birth in the hospital?