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Sophia, , ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬, y.o.
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Date: October 24, 2022
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Stop being alone with her
Leave. You have enough evidence to know he's hiding things. His behavior is immature. The lying is a major red flag.
If she can't say “I'm sorry for saying I wish your son didn't exist. I actually enjoy being around him and was just frustrated that we can't plan things spontaneously”, then don't bother trying to salvage this.
Every second of interacting with your pet is training.
Yes indeed lol
He's not. We had a talk about it and he's definitely straight/not into guys at all
She's definitely not shallow for wanting a partner that wants more in life than the bare minimum. She's striving for a goal. If he doesn't match her energy she has every right to think things aren't gong to work out in the long run.
You do something. We both recognize complaining does nothing for us here but makes us a burden to be around. We also recognize that your MiL moving in was a mistake.
So you gotta have a serious talk with your wife. Majority of people her age that get divorced don’t move in with their kids.
Help her understand that you can’t live like this. Not only does it effect you, it effects the kids. Choosing mom over your kids is not okay here.
Then set a timeline. Have a plan to enforce it when mom doesn’t like having to be a self-sufficient adult rather than an entitled, destructive, and rude guest taking advantage of your hospitality.
If she chooses her mother over you and the kids, that’s her choice and her problem, so you gotta move on.
Yeah last night actually, im just confused like all the signs point to her cheating but I want to love her and believe her
And it’s unnecessary ‘self blame’. Place blame when someone does something wrong, these kids haven’t gone anything wrong. Sure it’s not what mom expected, but that’s on her thoughts. Everyone else seemed to know. She needs to trust her husband and his response here. He’s being an adult about the whole situation.
I think mandatory doesn’t account for all the cases of childbirth. Let’s say a sexual assault resulted in her being pregnant and for a given reason she decided to keep the baby. Should she be reminded of the circumstances? I don’t think so. What of the cases when say the husband goes and has an affair, which results in pregnancy. Should his wife also be notified by hospital staff of the child. Seems only fair.. if it’s mandatory for father’s sake
If dad's still alive ( not wanting dead , just his age ) tell him Still tell whatever school personal about this I'd even tell the v.a. sneaking suspension something is up and they could at least point you in the right direction.
Why is this even a question? Just cut him off entirely. Why would you want to be with a dude who cant even flush the toilet and gets upset about washing his hands after taking a shit? Do you find something good/worth it in this dude to ignore his lack of hygiene?
I mean d you expect him to stay home everytime you have a cold, flu or covid? If he is at home the only thing he will be doing to take care of you is bringing drinks and hard water bottles, and calpol to your daughter anyway, no?
If he is only going for a weekend I don't see the big deal, you can survive for 2-3 days. Plus his father recently passed away? The Mum is probably grieving still, aswell as him, let them spend time together.
I just want to say that I dressed up, put on makeup, and sat in his lap. He said he needed to shower.
He’s been in the shower for 1 hour 🙂
She's probably on the up and up. But to be honest, it's pretty disrespectful. I would never spend time with another woman alone out of respect for my wife. I would never allow another woman to sit on my bed. She wouldn't either. She could have sat outside with him or something. But most people probably have a different standard of what is respectful and what isn't. In a committed relationship I avoid putting myself in situations that would cause my partner to have doubt, or situations where things could go wrong, out of respect. It's important to not just abstain from impropriety, but to avoid the appearance of impropriety. It just opens a lot of doors that ought to be closed. It's not a deal breaker, but tell her how it made you feel and see if yall can't come to a reasonable agreement moving forward on what some reasonable boundaries should be to avoid mis steps and hurt feelings.
What he saw in the porn: ?
What he saw in his pants: ?
He can leave when he doesnt like it in their house right? Its their house and they pay for it.. They can decide if they smoke or watch tv. If he doesnt like he can leave and you should absolutely kick him out when he doesnt respect them. Its not your parents fault you messed up and have to live with them again. He can go to his own parents or a shelter if he doesnt like it.
Gas lighting doesn't implicitly require an attempt to drive someone insane;
Yes it does. That's basically the literal definition.
Look, I’m all for role playing. Sometimes I agree to being someone who doesn’t really “do it” for me, but it’s ok because so does my husband when I’m the one choosing. Mostly, we imagine scenarios we both enjoy, and it can be a lot of fun.
There are hard limits though. People we know are one of them. It can be very hurtful to imagine your SO/play partner is so attracted to someone in your day-to-day life. Personally, it would make me very insecure around that person and my SO. Ask your boyfriend what he would feel like if you were picturing one of his friends, or brother or dad or cousin while you were having sex with him. Of course we’re attracted to other people from time to time, but our emotional boundaries AND our partners’ emotional boundaries should always be respected if we want to have healthy and safe and adventurous sex. Communication is key, also from your side. Express your discomfort, find alternatives. If you don’t, the hurt will only grow and you’ll eventually resent your partner so much and that’ll be the end of this relationship.
Some Jewish people decide to not be child abusers though
Some Jewish people very well may. Based on what Op has described of his fiancé’s family, it does not look like they lean towards not circumcising a new baby.
Too young. Too immature. No real life. All virtual. Feelings for real relationship don't translate to live.
Get over it. Find real love.
I knew you weren't trying to make me feel worse. I'll definitely take this advice seriously.
You don’t live together right?
Get all your stuff, start working to safe exit. Then break up. You don’t owe him an in person break up if u don’t want. Keep it short and directly to the point. Don’t entertain any gaslighting or debating on this convo. Then go completely NC.
Tell everyone u live with ur done and don’t let him in. And take it day by day.
On-line ur life. Let him go ans have fun with life!!
A naked from a man does not necessarily have to equal a dick pic (because those are just not very sexy), I'd advise you both to go looking for NSFW accounts on social media like Tumblr and Twitter by men. I've seen a few accounts that take sexy pictures without focusing on their dick, which are hard!
Plenty 23 year olds fuck with 28 year olds. He's not a kid.
Weird way to put it.
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Omg, the comment section is messed up, i agree that this was a terrible descision from her, but it was not planned, it was nothing sexual, it was probably just to cheer up a good friend. This incident is something that you swallow as a careless act, or if you cannot get past this, leave up to you, I would definitely wont if my wife does this, if we got separated and she gives a peak on lip to a shared friend.
Right and his feelings are not any more valid than the partner's. No one is saying you can't have the test, just that partner has a right to react how she reacts. Everyone gets what they want. Father gets peace of mind in knowing and mother gets peace of mind knowing this is not the man she wants to spend a lifetime with. All hearts and minds satisfied.
Time to give mom the Spanish Elbow
It sounds like you are feeling concerned about your relationship and that your partner's behavior is causing you stress and anxiety. It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner and to seek support if you are struggling. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and to make time for self-care. If you need help managing your stress or working through your feelings, consider seeking support from a mental health professional.
You both sound like children. You for purposely ignoring him and him for being annoying when you don't answer.
Clearly fake.
I just feel like society doesn't want that type of relationship to exist. What should I do ?
As others have mentioned, polyamory exists and is fairly well-accepted, so stop blaming “society” and look inward. You know your boyfriend doesn't want a polyamorous relationship and you are cheating on him, and causing him great pain.
This reflects on YOU and what kind of person YOU are. It shows your character, and your character is cruel and selfish.
A reasonable person with would realize that it is cruel and unfair to cause this kind of pain to someone they care about, and would break off one or the other relationship.
In the future if you want polyamorous relationships, the simple solution is to only date other people who want polyamorous relationships. You aren't special; there's nothing unusual about being in love with more than one person. And now you're a run of the mill cheater.
If you ask, that's a problem she can't come back from. But if you don't ask, that's a problem you can't come back from.
Ask bro. I mean, I would ask, she acts very suspiciously.
You won’t make him feel awkward. Ask a few questions about if he got home ok, how did he like the trip, etc. if he’s interested, he’ll take it from there and you should go with the flow.
You won’t look bad. One of them made a move, the other didn’t. That’s how life works. You are following up with the one who made a move. There’s an old saying: “he who hesitated is lost”. The younger guy lost out on an opportunity with you. You aren’t two timing them lol
Your girlfriend should break up with you. You guys aren’t compatible. You’re going to have a find the right person to date you while you keep your ex in your life. Your dating pool might be shallow
This relationship sounds so toxic. Why are you working so hot for someone who doesn't trust you, and doesn't want you unless you are 1) totally uninterested in any woman of any sort but also 2) totally in love with her in every way shape and form. Those two things are mutually incompatible. She wants to live in a fantasy world, and she wants you to do all the work to create, maintain, and support this fantasy world of hers. And she is willing to drag you through broken glass and fire to make certain you make it happen. You are not happy. You will never be happy with this dynamic. Why are you working so hard to keep it? Let it go. Let her figure her own self out and do the work to fix what she needs to fix to find out how she can be happy. Give yourself a chance to figure your own self out and get yourself into a happy place. Trust me, she is never going to be happy where you both are now, and you'll always feel stuck.
Also need to come to terms that she is abusive and this is a toxic situation for you. Yes people in relationships can tell when someone is attractive you can’t turn your eyes off. But it’s not like you’re telling her these things she’s pushing you and pushing you and then being mad when she gets the answer she’s pushing you on and takes it out on you, verbally and physically. Its not only manipulative, but abusive what she’s doing. She keeps creating lose lose situations for you if she gets to play the victim.She’s not the victim in your relationship.
She clearly clearly has deep rooted insecurity possibly stemming from her last relationships and is taking it out on you. Yeah it sucks that she probably got really hurt in the past but that’s not fair to you.
Stop being a doormat.
It's not just reddit unfortunately.
But he shouldn’t base his course of actions on a quote. He needs to do what he feels is right for him.
Because I seem to always get hit on by bisexual men, trans men, couples on dating sites.
She may think that. I don't know. I have heard that abuse is learned behavior and can be a cycle that repeats itself over and over in families. It becomes generational. It might be worth it to look into counseling for yourself. Also contact a domestic abuse hotline for advice.
If you're just using M32 for “financial and emotional stability” that's pretty crass. Maybe consider telling M32 the truth, that you're not really there for him but just because he's not some loopy f*ckboy. Then consider not stepping onto the rollercoaster that “T” represents. Perhaps think about getting your life together so that you don't have to suffer the boredom a productive man brings to the table nor cry yourself to sleep at night because some idiot is cheating on you. “T” will never be “exclusive” but eventually M32 is going to figure out that he's just a wallet with a fixed address to you. Take on the real world and make something of yourself so you don't have to choose between merely stable and straight up chaotic. There are good men out there closer to your own age who can be exciting yet still pay the bills.
Nursing homes are notorious for all of the STDs from all of the action you can get as a widow/widower living in the same building with a large group of peers with nothing but free time.
So I think most of us agree that a 24 year old can date a 20 year old, no problem. And you can look at any person and comment on their appearance – it's very often NOT clear how old someone is, especially live where people use clothes and makeup to specifically look different. She herself said that he was a 10/10.
The difference between a pedophile and.. I suppose normal people, is that a pedofile specifically seeks out underage people, whereas normal people would go “oh, they are cute. What, 13? No thanks. Jeez, what's up with kids today?!”.
But from 24 to 20? That's ridiculous. Uour friend is being very strange about this, and you should not be the one to apologize.
the ol’ “im too tired tonight”…
That would fall into the category of “not fucking asking, telling” you tell them “yo wait up a sec, that’ll ruin that!!” Like mixing chemicals together to clean that’ll create mustard gas… she should be more proactive with her stuff if she cares. My man doesn’t machine wash his jeans, so they never go into the hamper… (dry cleaning)
My interpretation: he follows lots of girls and likes their booty pics and his previous girlfriends (naturally) had a problem with that so he knows you will as well if you see it.
You knew her stance and you did it anyway. Go on her for respecting her own boundaries. And you can ‘relieve’ yourself without porn.
All the parties involved including you need to grow up.
Totally agree with everything but the freeze response as a bystander. It’s awful, but it does happen in the moment. NOT for two hours after the fact though. Him allowing his friend to speak to her that way really shows where he stands.
He returned the money, I feel it’s safe to assume he didn’t withhold sex in order to steal money, but rather panicked. Still tangential to my point though.
And she signed up for the possibility of him being less attracted, if you want to go down that path. What makes you think accepting these risks mean he’ll be attracted to her? Arousal is an involuntary reaction in humans
Lots of people have different political views and have a relationship. The real questions that need answers (only you know the truth) are:
1) Can you respect each other’s opinions without judgement?
2) Have you had a serious discussion about what would happen if you were unexpectedly pregnant with his kid?
Yeah well said
Alright, I won't argue or anything cause I understand your point.
Then break up with him.
how did you fall for this?
Baffled? Lol, what you can do differently is realize that every guy is just waiting for their shot. No matter what you think of your guy best friend, the first opportunity he gets to get physical with you, he’s taking it. These 4 guys who’ve said no just have self respect.
I’ve been there. I’ve been in groups where people can write some next level stuff but if I’m not meshing with them for whatever reason they leave early or just kinda have an attitude it’s not gonna work.
Should I tell them/say anything before I go, or should I just leave without bringing it up? I don't know if I can change their minds, and I want to just not be friends, but I'm not sure if it'd be 'cowardice' to just leave.
And yeah, you do end up like the people you hang out with. I like darker humor, and I used to browse 4chan when I was younger, but to me there's a difference between simple jokes and being cruel or hateful. I don't want to end up like these people, and I don't want to feel as if I'm a bad person because of this.
Nobody is forcing her to be in an open marriage. Nobody is making her go out and date other men whilst married to her current husband.
Not a time for his ego. I like that. That’s a good one. You’re right.
14 tiktoks trends ago is killing me LOL
You’d be surprised how well time boxing works. I talk about my shit for x minutes, then you go, etc. But really each couple needs to find a conversation style that works for them. Friends of mine literally agreed that they don’t care what the other person talks about, but they’ll be as engaged as they can be and ask questions and stuff simply because they want their partner to return the favor. Maybe try talking to him about…talking.
You’d be surprised how well time boxing works. I talk about my shit for x minutes, then you go, etc. But really each couple needs to find a conversation style that works for them. Friends of mine literally agreed that they don’t care what the other person talks about, but they’ll be as engaged as they can be and ask questions and stuff simply because they want their partner to return the favor. Maybe try talking to him about…talking.
I don't have any other proof but he started taking care of his appearance since this all happened.
Unfortunately, there’s not many problems that just go away with time and it’s probably wishful thinking with this one too. That said, I haven’t been through this to tell you yes or no for sure. But it hasn’t gone away or faded yet and it sounds like it’s been going on for a while.
Your therapist might be able to talk with the new person and get them up to speed, but regardless it sounds like getting a new person up to speed will take less time than has already been spent with this therapist on the issue.
A fucking four day Hen party – that was a really bad idea. IDK what you do except be around your friends and family. I think I would only suggest you stay away from your wife for long enough for the answer to become apparent. She kept this secret for years but OTOH would you be married if she didn't and how is she acting now that she has been exposed? What has been her history otherwise ? Take your time.
Seriously, OP- get a life.