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Date: January 1, 2023
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But still fan fiction
Lacking empathy for other beings and abusing animals is more than just “on the spectrum” of sociopath or psychopath.
This isnt the same as like “oh hes so silly, he occasionally says things without understanding how its going to be taken by others” or “he doesnt really think much past whats been put in front of him…he takes things at face value” both are things neurodivergent ppl do….and can be irritating if not fully understood. And youre acting as if his lack of empathy, and abuse towards animals is just like that…thats how youre talking anyway. Kinda scares me a bit. Like you really dont realize what youre dealing with. You cant have a light-hearted discussion with an abuser. Either they are going to take advantage of the situation and pretend like they agree and will promise to be better…while never intending on doing so…OR they will explode when you come to them with this kind of conversation.
You dont seem as concerned as everyone else is by your BF choking out your dog and slapping it across the face.
If you arent going to take this seriously then you should be giving up that poor baby to a shelter. He doesnt deserve this.
Why not? Maybe he was feeling his libido so much because you had had a great time the day prior. Shutting down isn't the answer.
That’s true, but then I’m allowed to have zero interest in sex for the day if I feel like I’m not enough.
It sounds as though she has been cheating for a while. Maybe this time it was out in the open more and got caught so she decided to come clean before anyone else told you. That dude didn’t just go down on her…..
This is a tough one, and I waffled back and forth, but ultimately I came down on your side. You need to feel comfortable in your own skin. You will still be you. Your wife will have to adjust, because this train is coming, regardless.
You can use soap which is especially made for washing down there, it's pH is different from regular soap
“It wasn’t the first time he’d been told that” when you told him that you felt “really anxious having to tell him to stop and ‘no’ all night.” So he has, in fact, had enough experience to know better. He just does it anyway.
Contrary to what the other person said, I don't really think you're overreacting by being upset/uncomfortable. Masturbating to normal women live is kind of weird tbh. I would also be shocked by it. It's ok to be upset by it, and it's ok to set boundaries surrounding it. It's absolutely ok and reasonable to be hurt or uncomfortable by you SO masturbating to other women who are simply posting innocent pictures of themselves. Some men even go to lengths of messaging, repeatedly commenting, or even sending money (to OF accounts ofc) to these women on stuff like instagram. Plenty of women consider that cheating, and that's ok and reasonable.
If it's something that is a deal breaker for you, then it is. If you want to work it out, then I'd suggest setting boundaries. If you don't think you can get over it, it isn't an overreaction to move on and find someone else that doesn't do that. You can find someone that doesn't do that
She’s not asking for legal advice, she’s asking for relationship advice.
Well, for bpd, it is not that easy. But now my bf knows about my condition and he understands. I am also getting treatment
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EXACTLY!
I’ve been pregnant myself so I KNOW the changes I went through lol.
I also had to get healthier after my pregnancy and lost the weight.
These people in these comments acting like pregnancy is a free pass to being overweight forever ?
i would definitely try to get some kind of legal help from someone who specializes in property disputes. it’s not necessary, but it’s something that could help you figure out your options. laws are different everywhere especially ones regarding lease agreements and such. if both names are on the lease, you’ll need both parties to break the lease in that case. however if she’s willing to move out on her own accord, it would be possible to have her name taken off the lease as long as you obtain proof that she’s not fit to be on the lease (this is where evidence of the mental abuse you’ve endured would come in handy). i personally would try to reach out to her parents to let them know your concerns, i genuinely think she needs some time in a mental health facility but i don’t think you should be the one responsible for that, her family should be. despite you feeling trapped, i think it will be a lot easier to get out of this relationship than you think. with the right support system and plan, you can choose to keep your peace and move on with you life. i hope the best for you.
I'm 38, and I'm less likely to think about marriage (quickly) at this age. For me, age = experience, which only tells me to get to know a person fully before such a commitment as even living together.
Ma'am you haven't had sex since you were 28. At a certain point you have to realize that it just isn't going to happen with this guy
I haven’t ever experienced this, but rather, the opposite. Sometimes I’ll meet somebody and I find them ordinary in looks to begin with. But then I talk to them and I feel this connection. I start finding them much more attractive than I originally did. More attractive than anybody else even if they aren’t. However, I’ve been in relationships where I find the person more objectively attractive but I don’t feel anything for them sexually or emotionally. Looks will fade for everyone with age. Emotional/intellectual connection always trumps everything else for me personally, as it’s linked to desire for me. But if you are legit feeling this way about your partner, maybe your connection isn’t so strong.
I've called her 3h ago explaining that I want to talk about why she got mad. She went silent on me and didn't really want to talk.
Told her that she doesn't need to talk right now if she doesn't feel ready and I can hang up, but the next time she calls there's no way we are not talking about this.
NO. Why in the world would you do that?
The only reason I can think of for you to speak to him again is when you testify against him in court for his RAPE TRIAL.
If you dont want to get married, then why are you dating people who want to get married?
Thats a prettystvpid choice of partners youre doing there. And youre waisting those women's prescious time, as women cant wait forever to have kids.
Do NOT let him say it's because he's “being nice” I dated a guy like that and let me tell you, it was not bc he was “so nice” it was him basking in the attention constantly. Let him know that this is not about being nice/being mean this is about RESPECT. He needs to be firm with other women and he can still be polite about it.
I also thought cheating, he’s lined up his next girlfriend and was planning to leave. How he went forward with all this IVF shit ….
“Yeah, things are going great. I mean, she wants a kid now and I want to wait, so I have to hide the condoms from her and rinse them out after we have sex, but other than that it's terrific!”
100%, also completely ignoring the realities of a termination at this stage. A friend lost twins at 17w and it was full blown labour, make no bones about it. That’s before you consider the long and intrusive process that IVF is for women- all he had to do was spunk in a pot. This is a disgusting ask of OP at this stage.
She’s lying to you bro. Move on.
Can you with 100 % certainty prove that none of the 3 girls have attraction to women in any capacity?
It doesn't sound like you like each other very much.
The only way someone can tell that's how he really feels is if he says that's his true feelings or if he treats women in that way. People aren't mind readers so all we have to go off of are words and behaviors. What you write as an author doesnt necessarily reflect your personal feelings or beliefs.
It doesn't appear either are the case so that point is irrelevant to this situation.
The only way someone can tell that's how he really feels is if he says that's his true feelings or if he treats women in that way. People aren't mind readers so all we have to go off of are words and behaviors. What you write as an author doesnt necessarily reflect your personal feelings or beliefs.
It doesn't appear either are the case so that point is irrelevant to this situation.
eventually she respected herself enough to leave him alone
This part right here bothers me. Your bf should have respected her enough to treat her properly. He obviously liked her enough to hook up with her. He has accountability and responsibility in the situation as well. Your guilty conscience may try to place all of the blame on her, but she didn't hurt her feelings by herself. He has ownership of his behavior.
You knew it would hurt her, because you knew that she had feelings for him.
You were selfish. You made a choice. You chose him over your friendship. That's the choice you have to live with, but don't try to smear her to make yourself feel better.
I wasn’t deal with this at 20. I was in a stable relationship then
You are so very welcome. Take care of yourself, OP.
If you need anything in the future, feel free to reach out to me. I know I’m just a stranger, but I’m always here for you if you need someone to talk to. I’m a married woman in my 30s, so I am always willing to lend an ear if you need it. I hope you have a wonderful day, and be sure to do things you enjoy as well to take your mind off of things when you can.
Have you ever been to holland? 😀
I don't think you should marry this woman, or even be together. You clearly place much more value and priority on your own emotions and needs than hers. You claim to understand her reason, you say you prefer to masturbate, yet its regular sex or no marriage…it literally does not add up. You also said something in the comments about giving her a UTI from rubbing her urethra so I'm gonna go ahead and assume your selfishness runs over into the bedroom as well, probably explains part of why she isn't enthusiastic. You aren't sexually compatible, pressuring her to change is just creepy and it won't work. She will just be more turned off by you.
Get through it knowing it was necessary and the right call.
I believe it is actually being considered one now… I will find the source and edit my comment
I mean eww
Why is the topic title not “My ex-boyfriend stalks women”? I would also forward these videos to the police or sheriff to start an investigation of whether these have gone any further than just voyeur videos. Have any of these women turned up missing?
I feel like the approach could use a smidge more tact but this made me laugh so take my upvote
You don’t understand English?
This comment should be higher
It’s time to move on. There are men out there who take care of themselves and their homes who can also be caring and funny and love you. Do you want kids one day?? This guy would be a deadbeat dad. You’re so young and still learning about relationships. Take what you’ve learned about in this one and find someone that meets your needs
It's okay to accept a flawed friend. Everything your friends and family do is not a reflection on you. The only person you can control is yourself.
And that is how you should've explained it to your wife. That you understand what your friend did was very wrong, you don't condone it, and you are still willing to continue your friendship (if she is also remorseful of her own actions) given your long history together. Sticking with someone who did something wrong does not mean you condone their actions. People like to think it does, though. So given that you likely cannot change your wife's mind, you probably will need to choose if you're going to stick by your friend or cut off anyone your wife doesn't like. You've been friends for 20 years. Would you be forced to cut off contact with your sister if she fucked up too?
I didn’t say that.
Calling her a “monster” is cruel and unnecessary
Here’s this thing – at some point in all relationships, there come dry spells in the bedroom, and you’ll have months on end possibly where no sex occurs because if children or health or stress of life. But that point is usually later and after we get a bit older.
It’s asking a lot of a healthy, sexually active 24 year old to forego sex with their partner for a year because of a “hyposexual phase”. Basically you’re asking him to put his physical desires on hold for someone he isn’t married to and doesn’t have any reason to stay with. IMO, you’re considering asking something beyond what he’ll be able to give, and you need to understand that you are not the victim in this situation. If he breaks up with you over this, he has every right to.
Sounds like you're an alpha female in a beta male world… good luck
Very sad that you had to experience this.
I had this myself on my 30th birthday. I had bought a mega expensive cake, spent a lot of money on drinks and snacks. And not a single friend of mine had come. Only my brothers, sisters in law, parents and a friend of my sister-in-law. I also cried a lot about it. I have now resigned myself to it and all friendships have been broken. This was heavy, sad and painful, but it also saves a lot of expectations.
I'm not saying you should do this. But I would certainly make it clear to your friends that they have caused you a lot of grief and that this cannot be made up for with a simple excuse.
They're called massage therapists, not masseurs
Ah, so Reddit took the time to bully you into using gender neutral language when it isn't needed, in the midst of asking for help about a sensitive personal situation? Classic Reddit. Masseur is an appropriate term.
They're called massage therapists, not masseurs
Ah, so Reddit took the time to bully you into using gender neutral language when it isn't needed, in the midst of asking for help about a sensitive personal situation? Classic Reddit. Masseur is an appropriate term.
They're called massage therapists, not masseurs
Ah, so Reddit took the time to bully you into using gender neutral language when it isn't needed, in the midst of asking for help about a sensitive personal situation? Classic Reddit. Masseur is an appropriate term.
having sex is not “cheapening” yourself. OP can choose to have sex whenever feels right, definitely doesn’t have to wait until being in love or married unless that’s what she wants
Just get out of the relationship safely. The man is armed and has proven to be duplicitous.
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Brother and I love each other very much. But he is the only boy, the baby, and the golden child of the family and so I'm used to kinda standing in his shade. But I've worked my ass off in med school and I would really like to attend my own graduation, but when I expressed that to my family (brother included), everyone got very upset for even considering attending my graduation in lieu of his wedding. And now I really don't know what to do..
Who needs enemies when you have this mom?
Well you clearly only want him for his body, because you didn't want him before. Of course you can't really control what you're attracted to, but your language is gross . Hopefully he knows his worth and won't settle with you
Go to therapy to process this. Absolutely do not contact your ex. You need to process the series of decisions you made that lead you here so you never do them again.
He’s in a relationship with his girlfriend. He’s in a “situation-ship” with OP. I was in OP’s position when I was young. This is exactly what is going on. Like me, she’ll have to learn the very hot way not to date people that aren’t completely, unquestionably single.
That would’ve been an EPAU scan, they’ll have booked you in sounds like. Routine midwife and first ultrasound won’t usually follow initial HCG bloods (if they even bother, they didn’t with this pregnancy) until 11-14 weeks. Did you call in? I’m in England mind, are you in Scotland or NI? Honestly some procedures vary widely between trusts in the same countries. My OH is from Luton, and their big main hospital won’t reveal the gender at all.
I’m sorry for yours too. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first or your fifth, it still hurts just as bad.
Is there anyway you can reduce the travel time from home?