I think it kinda depends. To make it a bit better to understand you might wanna give an “I earn approximately ….+money for …+hours and he makes ….+money for …+hours” example so we have a bit more clear picture. I am Dutch so I don't know if the following numbers are realistic where you online, but I will give an example here.
If you make €1500 per month for 40 hours a week and he makes €2500 per month for 32 hours a week, then I think he shouldn't complain because for Dutch standards he just earns a lot compared to the hours worked. For Dutch standards you might be a bit below average but not too low.
But if you work way more for way less, he might have a point. In the Netherlands we have a minimum salary that every employer has to pay. But if it was allowed to pay €500pm for 40hours pw of work, then yes your bf has a point because, even though you like to do it, you kinda are spending your time on something that doesn't earn something useful. Idk it's kinda difficult to judge without the full picture. But nevertheless you two should be able to talk about it and figure out a way to make it work for the both of you. And housework should be divided fairly, you are his gf not his mother so you don't have to clean up after him. Each of you should take the responsibility to take a few tasks so it's done. Doesn't matter if it's laundry, dishes, cooking, taking out trash, or cleaning the toilet. All of it needs to be done and someone has to do it.
Yea like in the fight we had over text like i brought up all the times she was rude or careless with her words and how I bit my tongue and how she broke up with me so easily just irritated me and got me frustrated. She now is aaying she doesn't know how to go forward from this but im like well same here but im willing to put the past behind us
I feel you. It is rough. Especially coming out of a terrible marriage.
I'm your age and started thinking about dating a few years ago. Dipped my toes in the water sometime later and freaked the heck out. Just creeps and weirdos matching me and shitting in my inbox, basically. No, I don't want to be your secret hotel hookup. No, my idea of “having fun” isn't just sex. No, I'm not interested in pictures of your weiner. No, I don't think it's cute that you asked me a get-to-know-you question and then told me my answer was stupid. Fuuuuuck that shit.
I almost gave up and was thinking being single really was just fine with me when I happened to match with someone who seemed promising. I was very skittish but we started talking, things clicked, we met up, and ended up falling ridiculously in love. He's a fantastic and wonderful person and totally worth slogging through the mucky pond kicking away mud suckers until I found him. I am glad I stuck it out just a bit longer so I could meet him.
Since you're already thinking it might not be so bad to stay single, my advice is to be REALLY picky about who you match with and even pickier about who you meet. Be forthright and blunt about what you want and what you expect from dating. Be upfront that you're not interested in hookups and that you will not be having sex until you're good and ready. A lot of the people not worth your time will self select out of the pool and save you a lot of time. And those you do connect with, be ready to disconnect the very first time they disrespect the boundaries you've set. When you make something very clear and someone bulldozes right over the line, take that as an indication of their character and don't bother with second chances.
Just keep saying no until someone comes along who is really worth saying yes to. They're out there.
I'm not saying he's right bc you say he was lazy and left all work to you at your mom's. But he likely doesn't see it that way. All he saw was your fights, your bad attitude, bad credit, and apparently he makes enough alone for a place, but you two together don't?
He's over you in a relationship. There was no way I'd move without my gf of a year if I still cared about the RS.
It may be a mental health issue or it may just be how he intentionally acts to get what he wants. Psych evaluation and therapy or jail are the best options here.
This woman didn’t blame herself in any capacity, she didn’t insinuate anything about her partner. Just asked for assistance.
But yet you somehow, assumed A). He’s 40 years so that means he must know that you need lube for sex(which doesn’t make sense, not everyone needs lube), that B). It’s possible he sucks at sex, despite her she flat out saying she feels physical pain from any type of penetration, and has been a virgin up until this point, which seeing that, it’s obvious there’s something more going on, C). Due to the age gap(between adults, not young adults like 19 or something but this woman is 27; she’s almost thirty), he’s possibly abusing her and telling her she’s broken.
Like, there’s no accountability to be shared here, she’s just asking for advice but her somehow, you’re trying to take it away from her and blame the man.
Yeah I just don’t see how you can keep your family together after that. The whole family dynamic will always be off and your kids will eventually pick up on it. Good luck!
If she isn't willing to put a stop to it, then tell her that you no longer wish to hear about it, she's the one to put him in his place and shut him down. If she's not willing to find another job and not willing to make him stop with the comments then she is encouraging him and his behavior and enjoying being wanted, but that's my opinion. She wouldn't like it if a female co-worker of yours said to you, “eat my ?????”, or anything else sexual to you and you would get accused of cheating. She's is also causing you to doubt her. I would sit her down and tell her what she needs to do to save this situation. She either shuts it down or quits her job or you will consider a divorce.
No woman would put up with his BS, Old or Young! And great job for listening to your spider sense, you knew enough to ask. So Run! He wants someone to control not to love.
The fuck is wrong with you. EVERYONE has a past. EVERYONE has a first love or whatever. You do too. You're 19, you're an adult, now you need to act like that and get your information from the correct sources like doctors and therapists specifically for this. Nobody gets bonded when they have sex. Whether they're their first, second or whatever. You need to talk to a therapist about this and all other things that are in your head ASAP.
So you fell for the old “You're so much more mature than eveyone your age” line. He's a real creep.
Oh, ok I guess that's a good excuse, oh well good luck to you
The night might end the date can go on forever
I think it kinda depends. To make it a bit better to understand you might wanna give an “I earn approximately ….+money for …+hours and he makes ….+money for …+hours” example so we have a bit more clear picture. I am Dutch so I don't know if the following numbers are realistic where you online, but I will give an example here.
If you make €1500 per month for 40 hours a week and he makes €2500 per month for 32 hours a week, then I think he shouldn't complain because for Dutch standards he just earns a lot compared to the hours worked. For Dutch standards you might be a bit below average but not too low.
But if you work way more for way less, he might have a point. In the Netherlands we have a minimum salary that every employer has to pay. But if it was allowed to pay €500pm for 40hours pw of work, then yes your bf has a point because, even though you like to do it, you kinda are spending your time on something that doesn't earn something useful. Idk it's kinda difficult to judge without the full picture. But nevertheless you two should be able to talk about it and figure out a way to make it work for the both of you. And housework should be divided fairly, you are his gf not his mother so you don't have to clean up after him. Each of you should take the responsibility to take a few tasks so it's done. Doesn't matter if it's laundry, dishes, cooking, taking out trash, or cleaning the toilet. All of it needs to be done and someone has to do it.
Yea like in the fight we had over text like i brought up all the times she was rude or careless with her words and how I bit my tongue and how she broke up with me so easily just irritated me and got me frustrated. She now is aaying she doesn't know how to go forward from this but im like well same here but im willing to put the past behind us
I feel you. It is rough. Especially coming out of a terrible marriage.
I'm your age and started thinking about dating a few years ago. Dipped my toes in the water sometime later and freaked the heck out. Just creeps and weirdos matching me and shitting in my inbox, basically. No, I don't want to be your secret hotel hookup. No, my idea of “having fun” isn't just sex. No, I'm not interested in pictures of your weiner. No, I don't think it's cute that you asked me a get-to-know-you question and then told me my answer was stupid. Fuuuuuck that shit.
I almost gave up and was thinking being single really was just fine with me when I happened to match with someone who seemed promising. I was very skittish but we started talking, things clicked, we met up, and ended up falling ridiculously in love. He's a fantastic and wonderful person and totally worth slogging through the mucky pond kicking away mud suckers until I found him. I am glad I stuck it out just a bit longer so I could meet him.
Since you're already thinking it might not be so bad to stay single, my advice is to be REALLY picky about who you match with and even pickier about who you meet. Be forthright and blunt about what you want and what you expect from dating. Be upfront that you're not interested in hookups and that you will not be having sex until you're good and ready. A lot of the people not worth your time will self select out of the pool and save you a lot of time. And those you do connect with, be ready to disconnect the very first time they disrespect the boundaries you've set. When you make something very clear and someone bulldozes right over the line, take that as an indication of their character and don't bother with second chances.
Just keep saying no until someone comes along who is really worth saying yes to. They're out there.
I'm not saying he's right bc you say he was lazy and left all work to you at your mom's. But he likely doesn't see it that way. All he saw was your fights, your bad attitude, bad credit, and apparently he makes enough alone for a place, but you two together don't?
He's over you in a relationship. There was no way I'd move without my gf of a year if I still cared about the RS.
Dump him.
Yeah that answer I expected. Look for someone better and kick him.
It may be a mental health issue or it may just be how he intentionally acts to get what he wants. Psych evaluation and therapy or jail are the best options here.
This woman didn’t blame herself in any capacity, she didn’t insinuate anything about her partner. Just asked for assistance.
But yet you somehow, assumed A). He’s 40 years so that means he must know that you need lube for sex(which doesn’t make sense, not everyone needs lube), that B). It’s possible he sucks at sex, despite her she flat out saying she feels physical pain from any type of penetration, and has been a virgin up until this point, which seeing that, it’s obvious there’s something more going on, C). Due to the age gap(between adults, not young adults like 19 or something but this woman is 27; she’s almost thirty), he’s possibly abusing her and telling her she’s broken.
Like, there’s no accountability to be shared here, she’s just asking for advice but her somehow, you’re trying to take it away from her and blame the man.
Yeah I just don’t see how you can keep your family together after that. The whole family dynamic will always be off and your kids will eventually pick up on it. Good luck!
If she isn't willing to put a stop to it, then tell her that you no longer wish to hear about it, she's the one to put him in his place and shut him down. If she's not willing to find another job and not willing to make him stop with the comments then she is encouraging him and his behavior and enjoying being wanted, but that's my opinion. She wouldn't like it if a female co-worker of yours said to you, “eat my ?????”, or anything else sexual to you and you would get accused of cheating. She's is also causing you to doubt her. I would sit her down and tell her what she needs to do to save this situation. She either shuts it down or quits her job or you will consider a divorce.
No woman would put up with his BS, Old or Young! And great job for listening to your spider sense, you knew enough to ask. So Run! He wants someone to control not to love.
Oh my god. Dump her NOW. She has no clue what it means to be a caretaker for a disabled person let alone one who is profoundly disabled.
She will never understand.
The fuck is wrong with you. EVERYONE has a past. EVERYONE has a first love or whatever. You do too. You're 19, you're an adult, now you need to act like that and get your information from the correct sources like doctors and therapists specifically for this. Nobody gets bonded when they have sex. Whether they're their first, second or whatever. You need to talk to a therapist about this and all other things that are in your head ASAP.
Love
Love
Don't waste your time common sense isn't too common
Hahahahahahahaha. And you're confused about why she won't speak to you? I'm sorry ma'am but your cheese has officially slid off your cracker.