Nope. All joint expenses (and any where the other party has contributed to a solo expense) if you are living together should be split either 50/50 or by income ratio (whichever works for your relationship)
So he should be contributing to the household expenses, and you should be chipping in for gas at least.
I… look, I’m happy for you that you’ve been able to find an understanding with your husband that you can both work with short-term but you really don’t sound happy. At all. You sound like a devoted, loving woman who is resigned to sacrificing much of what she wants and deserves in life in order to preserve a marriage where you currently rank 3rd in your husband’s eyes.
He told me that while he loves me more than anything, he loves them more, and that he has to put them first from now on, above anything
That’s… not where you should fall as his wife. You should be 1st until you have a child, at which point you and your husband should both fall to 2nd in each other’s eyes. Tbh, I’m really concerned about your plans to bring a kid into this situation. Where will your child rank (probably 3rd, if your husband is sincere that his siblings will always come before anything else in his life), and where will that put you? 4th? Do you really want to spend your life in 4th place? Do you think your child deserves to come in 3rd? It’s hot enough for a kid to grow up taking the backseat to a disabled sibling, but taking the backseat to their adult aunt and uncle…?
Good luck. Sincerely. I would really encourage you to continue thinking about whether this is the life you want and if it’s the life you want for your future child. If you truly believe you can make it work, then great. I hope you can. Divorce is hard and scary, especially when it’s no one’s fault, but no one wins when you stay in a marriage just because one person wants things to work out.
Yeah but you can say what you would do all day. What you actually do is a much harder decision. And your choice without an updated discussion with your partner may lead to your partners choice to not be your partner anymore.
i just feel like this can’t get better.
It won't until you leave. Stop worrying about everyone else. They aren't worried about you in the slightest.
Nope. All joint expenses (and any where the other party has contributed to a solo expense) if you are living together should be split either 50/50 or by income ratio (whichever works for your relationship)
So he should be contributing to the household expenses, and you should be chipping in for gas at least.
I… look, I’m happy for you that you’ve been able to find an understanding with your husband that you can both work with short-term but you really don’t sound happy. At all. You sound like a devoted, loving woman who is resigned to sacrificing much of what she wants and deserves in life in order to preserve a marriage where you currently rank 3rd in your husband’s eyes.
He told me that while he loves me more than anything, he loves them more, and that he has to put them first from now on, above anything
That’s… not where you should fall as his wife. You should be 1st until you have a child, at which point you and your husband should both fall to 2nd in each other’s eyes. Tbh, I’m really concerned about your plans to bring a kid into this situation. Where will your child rank (probably 3rd, if your husband is sincere that his siblings will always come before anything else in his life), and where will that put you? 4th? Do you really want to spend your life in 4th place? Do you think your child deserves to come in 3rd? It’s hot enough for a kid to grow up taking the backseat to a disabled sibling, but taking the backseat to their adult aunt and uncle…?
Good luck. Sincerely. I would really encourage you to continue thinking about whether this is the life you want and if it’s the life you want for your future child. If you truly believe you can make it work, then great. I hope you can. Divorce is hard and scary, especially when it’s no one’s fault, but no one wins when you stay in a marriage just because one person wants things to work out.
Yeah but you can say what you would do all day. What you actually do is a much harder decision. And your choice without an updated discussion with your partner may lead to your partners choice to not be your partner anymore.
He’s gaslighting the fuck outta you. Also, vaginas do not work like that.
Why isn’t that enough for you?
It probably was an insensitive and shitty joke he thought would be funnier than it was. That said edgy humor is not cool if it hurts your feelings.