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Sia, 21 y.o.
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Date: November 20, 2022
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I agree with this. I would do my very best to help my spouse in this situation, but I would also make it clear that things need to change. I know ppl hate ultimatums, but I’d absolutely be telling me wife that unless she can have enough personal responsibility to seek help and start improving the situation, I’m done with the relationship.
Talk to her. It could be so many things that it’s impossible for anyone here to guess.
Wow, the entitlement is strong with that one. Would it be nice to get her a little something? Sure. Is she entitled to your gift/money? No.
Your logic around her having never gotten you a gift “just because” is kind of flawed though. Relationships shouldn’t be transactional IMHO. Keeping score is a good way to get toxic and resentful.
I think it’s fine for you to spend the money on yourself. I don’t think that’s unfair at all.
But it sounds like gifts are one of her love languages so maybe in the future, do small things for her throughout the year.
My partner and I don’t do “forced gift giving” like for bdays or Xmas. We get each other things all year long when we see something we know the other needs or would like.