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Date: October 3, 2022
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He did an unacceptable thing, the reasons don't matter. There is no reason for one person to start hitting another, except when that person, when the aggression was applied to, did something terrible himself. For example, a guy was walking down the street and saw that a girl was being raped and began to physically stop the rapist. This can be understood, despite the fact that it was necessary at first to ask what was wrong with the girl, if she was okay, if they were shooting a movie here or something else…. Simply put, physical violence is not acceptable in a relationship at all, except when both partners want it, I mean BDSM and other kinds of relationships where cruelty is initially negotiated and has boundaries. In your case, everything is very clear, this guy has crossed the line and it is not recommended to have a relationship with him.
You need to sit down, and do a little future planning with her. Discuss what’s going to happen if you decide to get married, have kids, etc. Are you going to to join your accounts (which giving what you wrote, I wouldn’t suggest) or are you going to separate finances? Can you both afford to live a lavish lifestyle and still save and invest for the future or is this going to fall on just you.
My fiancé and I have the same mindset when it comes to money and our lifestyle, and we did our future planning very early on and still talk about it as time passes. We have the same goals and work together toward it. Thing is, right now, I can save more than he does (he had loans), but we’re both working toward the same future goal so I have no problem with this.
With my best friend however, her bf makes less than she does but he spends it all on friends, hanging out, and material things. And because he has a side job, he cannot help her take out a mortgage for their future home. So she has to work and save for the both of them. She wasn’t happy with their current situation but now she’s learned to online with it and accept that she won’t settle down anytime soon.
So while we’re both in the same position (both of us as the ones saving much more than our SO), our future is still very different.
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Replace weed with alcohol for the purpose of this discussion. It’s entirely reasonable for someone to expect their partner to stop using a mind/mood altering substance regardless of whether it’s legal and everywhere.
Go to therapy whether or not you stay together. You will need it.
Your wife is being super unrealistic, as crass it might be to say, the truth is that people die. Wanting to limit who your child becomes close to because that person might die sooner rather than later is just unreasonable. Your wife has an issue dealing with grief, she needs to work on remedying that because inevitably she's going need to help her own child cope with losing a loved one. Trying to avoid that by never having any loved ones is obviously not how you deal with that.
The fact she never likes ANYTHING you like/do/suggest means to me this isn’t about her being autistic or straightforward with opinions, because if it were that, she would find something to like eventually. I think she feels superior to you when she’s putting down the things you like or have done and thinks it keeps her as “better” than you.
She isn’t, people are just people and you need to stop putting her on some kind of pedestal (which it sounds like she helped build!) because liking different things and having other opinion a is just that, different. Not better or worse, just different.
stop eating her out and tell her you need rubbed too? doggy style DOES hurt a lot of women. disgusting to assume shes making it up.
OP hasn't said that her argumentative personality and ADHD are linked. He says this as an example of why he might be afraid to bring up therapy/medical professionals as his partner seems to use this against him.
Why wouldn't you bring it up 3-6 months at the start?
Did he go back for three month test to check if it was sucessfull, lots of guys don't bother?
Are you 100% sure he even had it done and didn't chicken out?
If you are pregnant you need to know asap
Your husband responded almost perfectly, the savage cultural beliefs have no place in civilized society.
….. maybe your husband could have just broken his nose, his wrist/fingers or something smaller but overall she behaved like an ideal husband. What culture is your husband from?
Basically, this is a clash of civilizations, the moral western world, and the savage primitive world
She doesn’t live with you yet so I think you’re overreacting, especially if there’s no actual plans for living together. Your consent isn’t needed for her to get a dog a this stage of your relationship.
Yeah, you need to nope outta that “relationship ” unless you want to always live in a situation with her where her ex tries to third-wheel you and she’s okay with it.
In fact, her behavior and interactions with him are encouraging his behavior. He’s inappropriate with her and she excuses it and doesn’t lay down some boundaries with him.
Basically, sounds like she’s not closing the door on a future with him and tolerating his shitty disrespectful behavior of your relationship and his rudeness to you because she might want to go back to him.
Just dump her ass. You’ve already communicated with her and it’s “fallen on deaf ears” which actually means that she’s totally okay with everything that’s gone on and how they are treating you. Don’t bother with anymore back and forth with her, no ultimatums, she’ll just accuse you of being jealous or trying to control her. Don’t do that and don’t open yourself open to her coercing you into tolerating the bullshit.
Your username reminds me of 80's Amitabh Bachan
That wouldn't be wrong to ask him. But also you both may just have to accept that you're sexually incompatible.
definitely not her bf… you are a side piece that pays for food
Does the “ex” girlfriend think he's single? It's easy to imagine the ex knows he's in a relationship….with her.
Restaurants are filled with staff sleeping with each other, others and gossip about who is cheating etc. Makes sense he works in one.
You're facing a hellish situation forthrightly, I'll keep a kind thought for you OP.
As a man with a divorce under my belt, I can say there will be times you can't envision life being good again. Keep the faith
That had crossed my mind when I considered what our options would be if he turned out to be asexual, but honestly the thought of it makes me kinda nauseous. Like yeah I could get physically turned on by someone else- but the thought of even kissing somebody…I don't want to. And it seems childish to say I just want him… almost like a teenager's first breakup… but that's why I married him. Cuz I want only him. I'm pansexual, too, so when I say just him I mean out of every option lol And this was definitely not a problem before we got married.
I'm thinking it's likely stress- we have a lot going on a lot of the time… but damn. Your hot wife walking in with only black lace on seems like a Hell of a stress reliever to me. But we don't all work the same so I don't know.
Who cares if this is or isn't cheating (it is)? Obviously you don't because you married him. That's just a big dumb dummy thing to do.
That helps me realise some more why it hurt so.much.
He was with her for 10 years. That would be a good time to break up. He put his semen in her. Suggesting the morning after pill and breaking up would be the right thing to do. Breakup before the invitations went out would not be great, but understandable.
Breaking up with your pregnant fiancé a week before the wedding is unacceptable. Is he not worried about the baby’s health? Is he not worried about her? The stress of this is unbearable. No way a good man would ever do this.
He is a coward. He is letting his daddy give in an excuse to behave horrendously. What a low life.
Needing space and time is okay. It sounds like you need to process your thoughts and emotions away from her, then do so if you can.
Lmfaooo thank you. Leave is up in november, so itll be a bit
No this isn’t cheating. You need to deal with why you’re so incredibly immature. This isn’t on her at all.
The fact that she reacted aggressively and defensively when you found a video that might implicate she was cheating tells you everything you need to know man. What a load of shit that she was going to delete it soon but just didn’t. There’s nothing wrong with the video or act itself imo, but the fact that she tried to gaslight you into believing that you were in the wrong for looking at her phone should tell you everything you need to know.
Find someone that has enough emotional intelligence to understand why a partner might possibly be upset if they find a video of a fourway in their partner’s recent videos.
Please move out