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Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1998-02-01
Body Type: bodyTypeLarge
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Date: November 22, 2022
Ah. Reddit never fails. Just because I'm able to take a more balanced view I'm a dog and a liar?
Dogs are some of the most loyal creatures on the face of this earth. I'll take that as a compliment. And a liar? Sure. We've al lied before. We'll all lie again. That's not an insult, sport.
Yeah, this isn’t just an OP problem, this is a boyfriend not setting boundaries problem.
Just block him and ignore!!
He's love bombing you. You need to leave
Like I said I feel terrible about that part. I usually do not do things like that. I don't even know why I did not keep it in my truck. It was a moment that I wanted her to hurt as bad as I was when she ripped the idea of our future together out from under me. I hope the break we can take the time to see if our life is able to be lived without each other. We have been together for so long that I spent a lot of time making sure we were going to have a good life. I never considered many other options. If she proves that she wants or has started to make changes and wants me as a life partner. Then I will take it slow. But if she doesn't take any steps unfortunately I will have to cut out one of the biggest parts of my being. I don't know if this makes sense.
Don't stay with a person who yells at you! That is the only disgusting behaviour here.
Please don’t shame and scold. You are not OP and not in their shoes.
You can’t possibly say this little and expect useful advice from the internet
I just found out she was pregnant for two months and had a miscarriage recently
How did you find out? Why didn’t you realize she was pregnant for 2 months or that she had a miscarriage? Have you been living separately? Because those things are hot to hide
told me she never planned on telling me
Why is that? Is she a crazy person you’re married to (if so why?)? Did you do something that’s making her not trust you and someone else like a neighbour?
I feel like I should’ve been the first one to know
I fully agree, just that you didn’t tell us why she decided not to
we already have some trust issues and this event didn’t help
What are those issues?
If there is a small piece of poop in your sandwich but otherwise the sandwich is incredible, you are still eating a shit sandwich.
It would take you less than 1/2 an hour on this sub to see 20+ posts exactly like this that didn't end up well. The person being abused (you) became so isolated they lost their friends, family, job, and self-esteem. They have nothing of their own because they aren't 'allowed' to have anything. They can't leave, they have no money, no car and their family has turned their backs. Even if they could put a plan into place, they are so beaten down that they have no will to improve the situation. Take a gander. Come back and let us know if this is what you want for your life. 'It won't happen to me / she and I are sooo different' is a very dangerous lie to tell yourself.
You have OCD, so how do you feel when people go around saying they have OCD when they actually just have a thing about cleanliness or being tidy? Which isn't a disorder, and we know that OCD isn't about cleanliness. But it causes misconceptions in what the actual disorder is and how it affects people. That's the difference. We've somehow, as people, gone and levelled even a mild aversion to something with phobia. And it makes it 10x as hot to get proper support and understanding when you do have an actual clinical phobia.
I see it all the time in my work, and we've actually done research into it. I won't share, because I don't want to identify myself, but there's research and stories out there from people with conditions that desperately want people to stop using them as adjectives or figures of speech.
And that's still not even addressing the sheer unethical practice that is telling someone they have a condition over the internet with no legal ability to. Someone says they have social anxiety, someone else tells them it's agoraphobia. What are they supposed to do with that?
Planning and executing are very different things. I don’t see where you have specified why a dog is such a big deal. Are you allergic, fear of dogs, etc.? Do you question her ability to care for an animal?
Also you mentioned that discussion of moving in together is already causing arguments, which doesn’t seem to bode well.
You need to tell her your expectations.
If you want to try to make this to work now, you will need to have an uncomfortable conversation with her.
You need to explicitly tell her how much this has hurt you, how this has wrecked your trust in her and what you need her to do if she wants you two to stay together.
Then you need to listen to her. Where her head is what she is feeling and what she wants to do.
Be aware this may only be the first conversation and both of you may need to step away and think about what was said, regroup and then continue the conversation.