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Date: October 25, 2022
How can a cheating guy rope you back in?
Maybe you need to break the illusion and accept he is in an open relationship?
Why are you frightened to be alone or leave him?
I know this will be shocking, but people used to not live together until they were married. I'm not saying to go to that extreme, but it is fine to get engaged before living together. Just remember it's okay to change your mind even if you get engaged.
This is exactly how I felt. When reading OP's post, I was thinking, “Hmmmm, OP is in the wrong” and then boyfriend reveals his horribly behavior.
This is a great example of why living together as a couple before getting married is so important. It's important to see *how* they fight as well as what they fight about.
It’s ok if our partners aren’t interested in all of our passions. I find baseball boring, but my husband loves it. I go to a game here and there, but mainly he goes solo (and trades his two tickets for one upgraded seat). I love making art and doing craft shows, but he would be bored to tears hanging out in a booth with me for several hours at a time. Then there are things we both enjoy, like hockey, or shows we like to binge together. It all works out in the end.
My best advice is to A) enjoy your own company, B) not try to force interest he simply doesn’t share, and C) work together with him to find things you can do that you both love.
I have a partner who ran for years, and loved competing in races. I probably sounded a lot like your spouse – early mornings, standing around waiting to see him finish, experiencing my lack of enthusiasm in the face of his runner’s high – and it was boring as hell to me. I can tell you that, for me, I did get frustrated when he put soooo many hours into running but was too tired to save any of that time or energy for me and the kids. Making family plans had to revolve around running and races often, and sometimes it felt a lot like running was more important than us. NOT his intention, by the way, but it was sometimes my perception.
Communicate with your husband. Find out the root reasons he doesn’t share your joy. Maybe he (like me) has physical limitations that prevent his from participating, and that makes him feel sad, frustrated, or even a little resentful because his body holds him back. Maybe he feels you get really excited about running, but don’t have that level of energy about him. Maybe you have races or running schedules that tend to interfere with weekend plans with him. Maybe he feels he’s pulling more weight around the house because your energy is spent more on running. Or maybe he simply doesn’t get the attraction for your passion for running. You won’t know until you invest time and energy into communicating with him.