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Date: November 1, 2022
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Except it wasn’t a New Years text and it was from a woman actively pursuing him. A text at 4am is not normal either. Any woman would question why the colleague that’s trying to go on dates with their partner is messaging them that early.
She put her hands on you. That relationship is over. It's time to move on. Domestic violence is no joke! Your abuser crying and not eating is NOT your responsibility.
OP, you asked for a “break” right in the middle of his moving in with you. Of course that solidified in his mind that you could disrupt his living situation at any moment. So you can't be shocked that he doesn't trust you not to do this again (and potentially make him homeless). When you express “doubts” one assumes you expect him to take that seriously. Ending up without a place to live because a relationship fails is a valid fear. So he's staying put for another 12 months, that's a given. If you can't afford the apartment without him consider getting a short term roommate. Then work on getting the relationship to the point where he can trust that you're not going to let your “doubts” make you want to take a “break”. Because if that happens after he's already moved in it would turn his life upside down.
Honestly it sounds like she's not ready to live with someone, not even a roommate. I mean, could you just ask your roommate to leave because you're having friends over?
If she is being respectful about the ask, I'd give it to her a time or two, and then if it continued just broach the “are you really ready to be living with me” question?
I've been married a very long time now… and lived with my wife for years before then. And I've been married before, and lived with people before.
I've have been asked to leave my own house exactly zero times.
Did you break up due to the lack of sex?