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GOAL = CREAM BOOBS! 🙂 PRVT open, as always! #dominant #boobs #findom #switch #goddess #sensual #strip #mistress #ass [2213 tokens remaining]
Date: October 31, 2022
AmateurPub
You sound like a douche. Just break up with your girlfriend, she deserves better. Maybe stop calling women bitches and hoes while you’re at it and stay single for a bit.
Honestly a lot of why we were unhappy is because she wouldn't get help for her mental health problems. I did for some of mine (ADHD) but I was never able to find anything that helped my anxiety no matter how much I tried. She half assed therapy and medication.
I'm drunk right now, but not when I was making any decisions. I made the decision to talk to her again while stone cold sober.
I want to do therapy, but honestly it's not very viable for me financially right now. If I'm being honest, I definitely have always hated myself for a lot of reasons. I have never been able to accept that I can't be perfect I guess. I know drinking isn't a good way to deal with my problems, trust me I do. I didn't used to use to drink as a coping mechanism for emotional pain before this break up and after the brief stint where I was drinking heavily every day I felt like I got it under control. I'm not going to let myself drink every night again. I was drinking so much because it's the weekend and I didn't have work to distract me.
The answer is no.
Didn’t even need to read past the title THE ANSWER IS NO
aat least it was only 2 months. Find a new (better) one.
Clearly him.
what an idiot. you're odd for putting up with it too
Ask him if he was born with a vagina. If his answer is no then proceed to tell him that it isn’t his place to invalidate what your experience is. Snd what defines being womanly enough? Maybe you should start questioning his manhood. Mirror his ignorant comments to see if he catches on to how abhorrent his comments are. Sorry to say but he sounds like an arrogant bitch.
This is something so many of us do. We downplay our own issues, even though they are significant. You are clearly suffering, and there are people out there who go to school for years to help people exactly like you with issues like this.
It doesn't have to include medication at all. Therapy is its own thing. I cannot recommend it enough.
Find your own tribe. She is not your tribe
If I was financially support a woman and her kids from another relationship and she did that to me I would be PISSED.. so I understand how you feel. I would just want to know why after you paying all the bills in the house she feels like that is okay?
omg this sub is literally dedicated to people having troubles in relationships and needing help, if you're gonna just make them feel like shit go find another sub
Ctfu
I’d still take the nuclear approach. Also, have you gone through other video footage? This doesn’t sound like a one time thing.
You both are to blame for this. But you are correct in realizing that you can't change other people. You can change how you respond, though.
You didn't go to pre-marriage classes, did you?
Because at those classes they guide you through equal division of labor.
You can get the Card Game to divide up chores called Fair Play.
Have a light-hearted and positive attitude when you do the game, and commit to doing ONLY the tasks you are responsible for, decided by the game. Do not do one task more. No way. Let tge mess pile up. Let him scream and video it and tell him next time he does it, you are posting the video on-line for everyone to see.
Also, sounds like you have reinforced yelling as a way for him to get you to clean up. If he yells, and you do what he wants, that's behavior Reinforcement.
You have failed on setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.
If my husband were to yell at me, I would do exactly the opposite of what he said. If I was afraid he would hurt me or my kids, I'd have a camera ready to film it or even a hidden camera, so I'd have proof if I had to call the police.
When my man got lazy and stopped doing his fair share, I did not pick up his slack. I did not nag him. I stated one time, Oh, I see you haven't gotten around to doing X. If it's not done by Thursday, I'm calling a professional to do it and the money comes out of your spending money, and you can do the same if I get behind on my tasks.
Blaming your husband isn't going to help anything.
Also, you have avoided telling us what it is that you fail at in your marriage. Acting like everything is 100% the other person's fault is a big problem you have. Why don't you have a nice Neal with him and have you both write down on slips of paper 2 behaviors you like that the other does, and one to improve. Discuss. This is called Communication. Going on-line and ranting is not Communication. Think of a couple that is a mentor for a good marriage. Plan a day out with them and ask them with your husband present (without blaming your husband, keep the focus on finding a solution)how they divide labor, budget so each person gets spending $, do date nights, limit screen time, keep the home tasks balanced so one person doesn't build resentment, etc.
You must change your behavior and take control in all these ways I've stated. If that doesn't work, go to counseling- alone or together or both.
You're not married yet, you don't need proof to be allowed to exit the relationship. Just… Exit the relationship if you want.
Sorry I don't know how to explain
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Asking for space doesn’t make you emotionally abusive. Do not let her use her mothers words or words like that to force you to exhaust yourself even more.
Also do you want someone like her mom as an MIL? Doubtful. People like that can only get worse. It’s been only 6 months
And yet the problem you're describing – person can't regulate their emotions to the point where it interferes with conflict resolution – is very different to the problem OP keeps insisting he and his wife are having – person deliberately sabotaging a conversation by crying. Therapy is not a bad idea. Accusing his wife of being manipulative to the point where she no longer feels comfortable even watching sad movies around him definitely is a bad idea, and the fact that he's still insisting that she's manipulating him by crying when he upsets her is the reason why people are reacting negatively.
I'm sorry your parent behaved badly towards you, but not every person who cries when upset is doing so on purpose to manipulate.
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Thanks for the feedback. She also mentioned that moving forward will be tough and she is also at a loss. Building new memories I think will be my next go to. We have been awkwardly quiet, and I have so much to share after being away for 3 weeks in Europe but all we talked was about this situation before thanksgiving. I agree about ego, and I have a big one. For me it will be tough but I’m willing to try as at this age I much rather work this out with her than start fresh with a complete stranger.
The part where he totally hangs you out to dry. Don't sign. Or sign and then get a nanny. The guy who can't see this from your perspective now, while you're in love and happy, is not one who will do the right things when it all goes to shit.
And that’s fine! His actions were fine to you. You aren’t his ex, and maybe he needs a partner like you.
That also doesn’t make his gf the bad guy for leaving. And how long would’ve been better? 3 more months? 2 years?
His sisters has an appointment to begin things, this next appointment isn’t a placement.
She saw that this isn’t what she’s wants, so why waste her time and further frustrate the already naked situation by sticking around when she doesn’t want to be there????
Again, why must one suffer and put their wellness aside for partnership when the concession isn’t one they are willing to make??
You can sympathize with OP, while simultaneously acknowledging she shouldn’t hold herself hostage to appease others.. Both can be true.
It *can* be harmless. I've dated people who are really close to their exes before, but I never felt threatened because of the communication going on between me and my partners. That communication sounds like it's not there for your in this situation. If it's a problem for you or makes you feel bad then it's a problem. It sounds like you feel uncomfortable, and thats a huge problem. It sounds like he might not be cheating through the eyes of many, but if he is pulling away from you and instead emotionally investing in her, than that would be cheating to me (for others it might not be, but it sounds like you made that a clear boundary so I assume it would be for you too). And he may not have ever physically cheated on you with her, but emotional stuff is worse in my eyes. Keep us updated and I am thinking about you.
Yeah Idk….I'd do a dinner or something beforehand with him and your friends and then break off and go out to a club with your friends and see if he is maybe interested in being your sober ride home later instead of dragging him along.
And let's be honest, we all judge the person at the bar/club who is just a little too old to really be there that is trying to hang with the college kids and folks in their early 20s. I'm sure he knows this and is trying to avoid it. To those in their 30s still clubbing, I commend you…but yes, you're being judged. lol
Talk to partner, be gentle about it. Talk more about small apt and lack of privacy. See where that goes. ( and do it before she shows up not while ).
OP mentioned a fast food addiction. It would absolutely be possible to gain that amount of weight if you were eating a lot of fast food, and I imagine this is the case if he's referring to it as that.
Definitely go to the doctor too just to rule anything out (as well as deal with any mental health issues she may be experiencing that might cause her to turn to food) but it doesn't sound like she's eating the same diet she did when she was slimmer, and gaining weight for no reason.
What kind of companion do you think. you are? You're never there. What kind of father do you think. you are? You're never there. You are working too many hours. There is more to life than working 2x what you should be doing. You are letting life slip by you and not living it!
Your wife sounds depressed and I think she has a point. I would have been gone long ago.
Whatever you do, do NOT allow yourself to be alone with him ever again. Seriously. Your life may depend on it. Think of how deliberate all of his actions were to manipulate you into the situation you find yourself in today. This is very alarming. Please consider him to be a threat to your life from here on out. You need to take this very seriously, reach out to everyone you know and trust, and disappear from his life. Become unreachable. Move. Start over. He had already stalked you for YEARS before getting to know you in an intimate relationship. Think of all he now knows that could aid in his stalking efforts.
Dude, please, YOU are NOT the problem here.
Do not marry this woman until you go to couples therapy so she learns how to bring up issues like an adult. Do not marry this child. She isn't communicating, she's attacking you. Stop being a doormat. You don't have to fix this, it's her.
DO NOT MARRY until she fixes this. Make it a condition to go through with it. She needs lessons on how to talk to people and treat you.
That's a lot of harsh, scary words for “Please don't post this one. I don't like social media”. Harsh, scary words.
Has she expressed other things like this?
Absolutely
My boyfriend and I rarely make out. We mostly peck kiss. But every once in a while we get more passionate and French kiss for a while. We have a family and we're both tired and know we're naked for one another. It's just not necessary for me or him. But if it IS something you need, tell him so. If he refuses to make you feel wanted that way you can find someone who will like making out.
Mate you haven't had a marriage ever since she cheated and you both started the unwise idea of an open marriage. Open marriage means now marriage other than pretending you are married. Once you go open marriage all bets are off any outcome is possible. The most likely outcome is regret and sadness.. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Exactly bro. Google would have told her this was a red flag, google is very useful and doesnt get enough credit or use ?? Men are creeps, if women used google more I think they'd be less likely to let guys take advantage of em
When your partner has no compelling reason to add insult to injury, you get one of those “It's not you, it's me” farewells. So why a finger-pointing farewell?
In some cases, it's a power play by the one saying farewell. They want the broken-hearted one to take a knee, and swear that they'll be a more agreeable partner from now on. Perhaps this was his intent, and he only moved on after he saw that you would do no kneeling.
In other cases, it's for closure. His accusing farewell could have been fashioned to get you feeling angry and mistreated, and to want nothing more to do with him. Knowing you feel this way would also help him get over any lingering feelings for you, cuz if instead he believed you were waiting and praying, he just might be tempted to give you another try.
This also explains the tears. His decision wasn't an easy one. He has lingering feelings, for sure. OTOH he's working very naked to get over them and move on. IDK why he feels so strongly that he MUST move on in spite of his feelings, but I'm unable to explain his behavior any other way. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Get rid of her, honestly. Cut contact now. I think the epitome of love is caregiving like this, and if she can’t see that, she never will.
I remember the first time I cleaned up after someone, they were a 30-40 yr old man who had a stroke. He couldn’t speak but looked at me with such shame and sadness. I reassured him it was our job and that it’s okay, but I couldn’t shake how unconditionally loving that act was.
I went home to my long term partner at the time and said “if I ever had a stroke, would you clean up after me?” And after a couple confused questions and silence pauses, he stared at me and said: “wouldn’t there be someone else to do that?” That’s when I knew he didn’t love me the way I thought he did. He said it would be too uncomfortable for HIM.
Nobody likes to clean up other peoples shit, piss, vomit, etc. Having been on both sides of the coin, it can be really demoralizing for the person being cleaned up, and crosses conventional bounds for the caretaker, especially as a family member. But loving someone unconditionally means wanting them to have dignity and comfort all throughout their lives, and aiding when they cannot do it themselves. You are a very loving brother for helping your sister, I’d say it’s only human nature but there are some very selfish people in the world.
Best of luck. Reddit can be unforgiving. Everyone on their moral high horse and don't make mistakes. But I'm rooting for you to make it right, as long as he is willing.
In a lot of these instances, OP has been trained to “walk on eggshells” around their partner.
If your boyfriend gets unreasonably angry about random innocuous things, then you know that accusing him of sabotaging your drinks, even if it’s true, will really set him off. So angry you might even be in danger.
Unfortunately, the way the mind is susceptible to abuse, the horrible situation these people find themselves in feels totally normal to them.
Are you sending her money? When you plan to move in with her, will you be paying the bills?
You need to be more assertive about it. Sit him down and tell him “while I know things are naked for you right now and I’m doing my best to be a support for you, that being said it would mean a lot if you remembered that I need you to be my support as well and I’m not feeling like you are. Again I know you are going through a hard time but I just want you to keep that in mind please. “
The silent treatment crap is childish.
Did she actually agree to stop being friends with this guy, or did you just assume she did because you said you were uncomfortable?
He cheats because you keep accepting that behavior. Why would he change when you keep taking him back?
He isn't cheating on you because there's something wrong with you. He's cheating because he can and there are no consequences.
You can't repair this. You need to leave.
“Rest assured, my dear, YOU will have only one property, because this one is mine only!” is your answer for your SO. Dixi.
If I saw one of my friends flirting to the degree they would fuck them. I would tell them to pump the breaks and think naked because I’m not lying to their wife.
She's studying in France. That most likely has priority rn. Not the relationship. As it should tbh. Since nothing has changed, I think you should let her know that you're moving on because she can't give you what you want/need.
Lol. This is so abnormal.
Word of advice. If someone says they need time, or a “break”. That's it, the relationships over.
There's no such thing as a break from a relationship that isn't a break up.
The fact that you've waited 2 months to take the hint is ridiculous. Maybe you were in a disbelief. But you should've realized when she didn't want to see you after almost two weeks.
Yes but why is he pulling back? And it’s actually affecting my work performance when I can’t communicate with one of my colleagues that I need to complete work with
It’s over. Ask yourself what was going on while you two were together.
Was he sleepwalking? Was he awake and having some mental breakdown? Does he get up at night often and walk around? You have to know the answers to these questions before anybody can explain why he was up that late, in the dark, walking around making so much noise.
When someone holds hate in their heart…not the kind which is earned by someone specific who has been the evil or pain in someone's life, but the kind which feeds on itself and grows to encompass whole races, genders, sexualities, nationalities, religions…that's a naked weed to root out once it's really taken hold. You can't argue with it, because it's not rooted in logic or fairness or empathy, which are the things to which you usually appeal when trying to change someone's mind. You can't force it, because that builds resentment instead of understanding. The person has to experience something which is profound…at least to them…and shakes them to the core enough to force them to really look inward with open, unbiased eyes for the first time in their life.
It might be a grandchild arrives who they love enough to show them how flimsy and baseless a hate which could have encompassed that child has to be. It might be sifting through the ashes of a great tragedy which was committed in the name of what you thought you believed in. It might be a breakthrough in therapy which allows you to see how much of that hate was hate you directed outward stemmed from the hate you projected inward. It could be as simple as having a kind neighbor who goes out of their way to help you in a time of need. It happens when something occurs and you are able to see a person…even if it's just one…who cracks the certainty which which you have painted an entire group as your enemy, and forces you to see them as just a human being for once.
She has chosen hate, and it's escalating because she's feeding it, marinating her mind in it, and letting it grow. You have talked to her, and it hasn't made a dent. The decision you need to make now is do you excuse hate and accept it into your life, or do you protect yourself from how very transmittable disease hate is and walk away?
Also a good plausible solution. Thank you.
I don’t stay friends with people whose morals don’t match mine. Essentially, I stopped carpooling with a work friend. Another work friend whose cheated on her husband with his boss. We all worked for the same company. My personal life is lived the same way.
I would drop everyone of either sex that cheats. The fuck you talking about 25% for? Do that many of your friends cheat on their partners? If so, you have some shitty friends.
I have no perspective on that. She shouldn’t forgive you though.
I just recently dumped my now ex. For almost 5 years, I thought of him as my best friend, just like you think of this giy as your bestie. Loosing someone close to you sucks, but you can make it through.
Take this with a grain of salt since my situation and reflection on it may not fit you and yours. Firstly, there wasn't a kid involved, but I broke up and tried to get back together to work things out with a girl that cheated on me. In retrospect, I realized that I never got over it and never truly rebuilt trust. In my experience, a relationship without trust just turns more and more sour and toxic and just ends up being a poison pill for both parties and can manifest in some terrible ways. My advice would be to first look inwardly (with a therapist if it helps) and try to determine whether you can get back that trust.
Let her go while you seek a reputable therapist.
Do what is best for you. Did she offer to move with you? Find your best job first, then figure out the relationship. It does not make any sense to limit yourself.
Do what is best for you. Did she offer to move with you? Find your best job first, then figure out the relationship. It does not make any sense to limit yourself.
Yeah most ppl on Reddit will tell you to leave/divorce. Don’t listen to them. Majority of these ppl are teens or early 20s with no life experience.
Your gf was honest with you and she clearly loves you based on how you talk about her. And you seem to love her too. It’s hot finding someone to spend the rest of your life with. You have a good person right now, build on that relationship. Don’t let what happened in the first two months dictate the rest of your life.
And tbh, the first two months of a relationship is still “unofficial” dating no matter how you defined it with your partner. It’s just uncertain times. That’s just my opinion tho.
I’ve been going out with friends at least twice a week. The only problem is that me and ex on-line together in a 1 bedroom. Lease doesn’t end until July. But I get what you mean.
Well if she misses him so bad she can go and chase him and you can go find someone who ready to be in a relationship with you.
You might be painting 4 year olds in a bad light. My niece uses my phone all the time and hasn't broken it once.