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Let Me Feel You Inside! , ❤❤ [2035 tokens remaining]
Date: October 12, 2022
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Let Me Feel You Inside! , ❤❤ [2035 tokens remaining]
You were wrong saying it was inappropriate for your wife as well.. imo
So you're the ultimate troll or very immature, if this is real I don't blame your GF for being annoyed especially of you do this all the time
Also 37 isn't old
Nope
Nope
Well, may…..NOPE!
So how u do it
He already said her “brother” gropes her breast.
He does care for marriage one way which is why he said he doesn’t want to get married
yeah, but a lot of men settle because they themselves are insecure. i think she should leave him if she isn’t his type, and if it makes her feel insecure. i mean if it’s not a good fit then there’s always other fish in the sea and someone who finds her ideal
No he’s honestly average in body weight but he said that vaping could’ve been the cause because when he started to get addicted is around the time it shrunk and he recently quit so maybe it will change.
Im a realist so theres no black or white just thousands shades of gray. Try to not let fear guide u for it will show u doom and guide u towards it.
I’m a 31F single mom head over heals in love with a 35M dad vibe type of guy. He says he loves me so much all the time and wants to take care of me, and spends hours of his time making me feel better. Our emotional bond is very strong. We support each other and see each other as equals. When I don’t feel well he says “It makes me sad to see you feel this pain” and holds me till I feel safe again. He’s not entirely like you because he is a bit more afraid of commitment than I am and you seem. Not sure why maybe a combination of things. He has been ghosted twice before meeting me that’s never a fun experience, and wants to think things through until the end of time. But I believe, as you do, in the power of loyalty and stability. I am not letting this guy go, he means so much to me and is so good to me.
The reason I love him so much for his goodness is I come from a few very problematic relationships, always spending too much time and energy, mind space and effort into the relationship. In some relationships I felt more as a presence or furniture, ignored, and some relationships were really toxic with emotional abuse. I left them but felt the same as you do now. What do I do wrong? Until I gave a different type of guy, a dad type of guy a chance.
I wish you could meet someone who fully appreciates you for whatever it is that you bring, all the emotional stability, the strong bond, the goodness, the safety net. I’m sure there is someone out there as enthusiastic about dad vibes as I am, and willing to never let you go.
Before any kind of talking to her, make sure you’re in the right frame of mind to have a mature discussion with your kid sister. Not of the discord stuff, none of your snooping. Instead, talk to her about protection, using condoms, willingness to listen to her if she wants to talk to you. This is a very delicate situation and you need to respond better than your parents would. Scolding or talking down to her won’t help anything. Approach talking to her in a mature fashion.
Coming from a woman, she is definitely cheating, if not physically at least emotionally and everything you’ve indicated says she definitely has feelings for him. And she’s gaslighting you SO much. And the constantly telling you your doing something wrong, that’s her guilt she projecting into you. Textbook behaviour of a cheater. But regardless of cheating, she’s putting this intimate relationship above your marriage. You should be her number 1 intimate relationship. Don’t bother trying to tell her you love her, her feelings for you are gone, but she likes having you there as the safety net as shes probably scared things with him won’t work out and trying something out with someone new is scary. Also, if she loved you she would care about your feelings and not do the things you’re not okay with. Also, I would never hang out with a guy alone as I know my bf would be upset and I wouldn’t want him hanging out with another girl alone. Friends or not. Males and females can sometimes be just friends, but its human nature that most of the time they can’t be just friends. It’s more common than not that they can’t be just friends. At one point or another someone or both of them will get some type of feelings usually. I’m sorry if this comes off blunt, I don’t mean it that way but that’s how I see this. Free yourself and find someone who will be a good partner.
Unpopular opinion around these parts, but unless the kid is switched at birth, the mother is known 100%, the father is presumed. DNA tests should be mandatory. Although paternity fraud is estimated to be under 5% it still leaves around 1 million men raising someone else's child in the US alone.
Have you asked HIM if, HE wants to be married? Ask him what is holding him back?
It was before your first date, so while it kind of sucks and your feelings are valid, she was absolutely free to do it. I think mostly you just need some time to get past this.
He knows fine well what he’s doing. Dump him and move on.
By not discussing it with you, it's already WRONG! Something suspicious is happening with your husband and this Ashley. It is good to watch closely and collect evidence that may help you in the future.
I don’t see a problem here. You have to accept that he’s a guy and will do guy things (specially with his friends and on a bachelors party). He is not going out on a strip club by himself, he was honest where he was going. I think those factors themselves should keep your reasoning in check.
This will happen again, without doubt. He's not even acknowledging what he done, that's how little he thinks about hitting you.
I'm sorry to say this because I don't mean you any evil….but you just wrote a
post that completely underscores everything I previously wrote.
If Jane has intimated that she is thinking about hurting herself …or…
hurting another……. she just won a free trip to the Hospital for three days
of observation. Period. Full stop.
If you can't….or won't….do just that much…we don't have anything else to say.
FWIW.
First off, I didn't “imply” that the post screams that. Did he try to understand what was failing his relationship.
His fiancee could be going through postpartum depression. OP didn't explain the extent of relationship or breakup on purpose because he knows he was at fault. He would have definitely gone in depth if that wasn't the case.
So let's not pretend he didn't fuck up his relationship because that's what exactly he did.
Different scenario. We don't know the size/budget for the wedding. Also, a girlfriend is not the same as a spouse.
Exactly. I’d be furious if my partner started telling ME how my siblings think and of their intentions. I know my siblings and their nature. I know if they have good or bad intentions and their behaviours. Yet she is happy to ignore that and build her own judgment completely on her, excluding the bf from it.
Red flags everywhere man, part ways.
So you must be stepped on to avoin being seen as mean?
Tell your ex to forget your number, that you don't care for him enough to forgive him.
Block him if it's needed, and don't let your future relationships have an unwanted opinion about YOUR past.
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Yikes! Stop supporting him! You'll probably find that your life is much less stressful once he's out of it. You are working multiple jobs while he works none? Why is his dream taking priority? When do you get a turn to be supported?
End this. You've been conned for long enough.
Bullcrap. I weighed above 100 from age 25-28, dropped to 83 now and still dropping.
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i shouldn’t have to avoid going to places i want to go just because he’s a man and he pays the dinner bills. i just think it’s a tough question to ask since everyone has different tipping behaviours but i can’t handle the embarrassment of knowing he tips so little. it’s a hard trade off but can’t i just tell him to be more generous because servers are people who have bills and really tough jobs too
If you base a relationship purely on physical attraction you're gonna have a bad, and short, time.
i see a bidet in your near future 🙂
If this is another troll account (age gap, SA, rage bait) I’m absolutely sick to my stomach.
So much this!!! I said that in my other comment too, he already deserves everything he gets now, based on calling her out like this in front of their friends, not even considering the other horrifying things he said to her.
You could have contact in good conscience, now?
If a rapist wants to rape, they'll do it. Especially since most assault cases happen when it's someone they're close with. It's less common that it's going to be some random. Her getting drunk with people she trusts isn't unusual behavior. It's a common occurrence.
we usually plan to meet at 4pm. He wakes up by 2 and then shows up at 5:30pm. Sadly alarms dont seem to work for him, I even try calling him but it doesnt work 🙁
Your husband while he has the right to remain silent, in a way will facilitate this assholes next assault because the only way to stop future behavior is to say something now.
Try what happens if you go out when your wife has fever.
Well if your contagious nobody will appreciate her coming! But if your sick do you mind her leaving to make money or just being with her family or just not taking care of a grown up man when he don’t feel to good. Dude. Your ok don’t be butt hurt your wife didn’t stay glued to your side because you have a cold she isn’t leaving for a week. You have everything you need I’m sure she didn’t leave you with out your necessities. SMH
We can be as humanising as we want. But let’s all just cut the bullshit and admit that some people are higher class than others? I’m not saying at all that includes me. Maybe I’m on the lower end and that’s why I’m single. But it’s rubbish to say we’re all equal in that way
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The catch is that he doesn't want to lose me bc he knows I will never be able to forgive him.
So, he knows what he wants and he knows what you think about it and he still asks?
He says girls and guys see sex differently and uses that as an excuse to justify why it would be meaningless too him since to him sex means nothing apparently to guys while to girls it's more than nothing.
So, when he has sex with you it means nothing? That's a nice compliment from him. /s
Oh, and it is also bullshit. There are men and women for whom sex can mean nothing and there are men and women who need a connection for sex to happen.
I just don't want our relationship to go to a waste.
Find someone for whom you are enough. Your current boyfriend isn't the one.
“babe, would you still love me if I was a piece of shit?”
Hey Op, how are you? Let me share my best friend story. We have been BFF for almost 30 years so much so that I was in the wedding, helped plan the wedding, godmother to their children and talk to the wife more than my BFF. If my BFF is struggling with something, his wife would say, “call your sis” or if they have a conflict, both shared with me but neither knew I already knew the story. We had a trip planned, my accommodations were solid and she was the one who suggested that we share rooms. Why is this important, I/we, respected his relationship, made her feel comfortable, established a real friendship/sisterhood, so she, now wife, is so comfortable, nothing or no one can persuade her otherwise.
I'm one of those ppl who are very much aware that male and females can be platonic friends, who respect boundaries and are able to adapt.
You may see her as a friend and is repulsed but you never know what's in someone's heart. Your GF doesn't really know your BFF, but as your BFF, IMO, after a year of dating, that wouldn't/shouldn't be the case.
As for the trip, your GF said she won't breakup over this but you already feel the tension and the trip hasn't happened yet, I seriously doubt you will recover if you go on the trip.
I'm not saying you can't/shouldn't go but your main priority should be the comfort of your partner and if your BFF is important to you, then you make sure they get to know each other. Good luck
Hey Op, how are you? Let me share my best friend story. We have been BFF for almost 30 years so much so that I was in the wedding, helped plan the wedding, godmother to their children and talk to the wife more than my BFF. If my BFF is struggling with something, his wife would say, “call your sis” or if they have a conflict, both shared with me but neither knew I already knew the story. We had a trip planned, my accommodations were solid and she was the one who suggested that we share rooms. Why is this important, I/we, respected his relationship, made her feel comfortable, established a real friendship/sisterhood, so she, now wife, is so comfortable, nothing or no one can persuade her otherwise.
I'm one of those ppl who are very much aware that male and females can be platonic friends, who respect boundaries and are able to adapt.
You may see her as a friend and is repulsed but you never know what's in someone's heart. Your GF doesn't really know your BFF, but as your BFF, IMO, after a year of dating, that wouldn't/shouldn't be the case.
As for the trip, your GF said she won't breakup over this but you already feel the tension and the trip hasn't happened yet, I seriously doubt you will recover if you go on the trip.
I'm not saying you can't/shouldn't go but your main priority should be the comfort of your partner and if your BFF is important to you, then you make sure they get to know each other. Good luck
Hey Op, how are you? Let me share my best friend story. We have been BFF for almost 30 years so much so that I was in the wedding, helped plan the wedding, godmother to their children and talk to the wife more than my BFF. If my BFF is struggling with something, his wife would say, “call your sis” or if they have a conflict, both shared with me but neither knew I already knew the story. We had a trip planned, my accommodations were solid and she was the one who suggested that we share rooms. Why is this important, I/we, respected his relationship, made her feel comfortable, established a real friendship/sisterhood, so she, now wife, is so comfortable, nothing or no one can persuade her otherwise.
I'm one of those ppl who are very much aware that male and females can be platonic friends, who respect boundaries and are able to adapt.
You may see her as a friend and is repulsed but you never know what's in someone's heart. Your GF doesn't really know your BFF, but as your BFF, IMO, after a year of dating, that wouldn't/shouldn't be the case.
As for the trip, your GF said she won't breakup over this but you already feel the tension and the trip hasn't happened yet, I seriously doubt you will recover if you go on the trip.
I'm not saying you can't/shouldn't go but your main priority should be the comfort of your partner and if your BFF is important to you, then you make sure they get to know each other. Good luck
I’ve tried to kill myself while smoking. It’s questionable if it’s bad for me at this point to be honest and that’s what I’ve been (besides this whole girl thing) for the couple months
He's found someone else, more than likely an emotional affair.
The fact that he brought up his awful ex, it's probably her.
Divorce. Move out or kick him out. And move on
Leonardo DiCaprio?
I only stated that because I was asked if I don’t view her as an equal. And I don’t want her to pay for the bills if we were to marry because those will the responsibilities that I want to be accountable for. For context the amount she makes more won’t be by much, but it is something I am proud of that she will be accomplishing
When she’s 24-almost-25, she’s going to look at 18 year olds, see them as babies, and wonder what the hell he was thinking.
Are you and your bf on the same page about birth control, accidental pregnancy and abortion? Have you discussed what will work best for you with your sexual health care provider?
Do you both masturbate and know your own bodies? Have you done heavy petting in bed together? Have you had the chance to explore each other's bodies yet?
Are you able to insert a tampon, fingers etc. without any issue?
In sickness and in health. He has proven he is willing to ditch you when you need him the most. Is it worth saving? Treat yourself better
Her mother is dead and my mother doesn't like me and is unreachable by phone
She will do it again. Something is missing in her life and that isn’t your fault or problem.
A person who can leave their spouse and children for some fling isn’t a good one.
She will do it again. Something is missing in her life and that isn’t your fault or problem.
A person who can leave their spouse and children for some fling isn’t a good one.
Wow. Just wow.
Wow. Just wow.
The red flag has nothing to do with “turning her head” and has everything to do with her giving her number away. It's the same thing we need to do as gentleman when we see a juicy ass of a stranger within our grasp–we REFRAIN.
Inform her her experience doesn't need to be so confusing I'm the future because nothing on this Earth will prevent her from turning her head. It has NOTHING to do with fidelity or the fitness of a relationship. It's as realistic as expecting dogs to stop sniffing eachother's assholes. The betrayal is not in the thought, but in the action. I'd say what she did is definitely a red flag and I would be uncomfortable for upwards of 6months. If we talked through it and she earnestly regrets what she did and has observably taken measure to correct her own behavior with her adult big girl pants on, I would forgive her (but not forget).
Another exact parallel: “Just because you're vegan doesn't mean bacon stopped smelling so good.”
Best of luck bud.
Definitely I will be praying for you…hope everything goes well
His intentions don’t matter. You two got married, what did he think your vows meant? He’ll be good to you in sickness and health as long as you’re thin? What happens when you both get old, is he going to demand you get Botox?
Your size doesn’t determine your worth. If you want to lose weight, go for it! But he’s trying to make you change because he doesn’t like something about you and that’s not your problem.
If you don’t like your body there is plenty you can do to change it: lift weights, get strong, exercise to make your heart stronger, eat to nourish yourself, body positivity/neutrality, etc. but none of those require you be a small size. if you are happy with your body, then that’s all you need.
I know it’s easy to write this off because I’m sure sometimes he is a wonderful husband who makes you feel loved and cherished. Multiple things can be true at once. But this is control, not love. He is telling you that if you don’t look and act like he wants, you have no worth. And that is just so far from true.
Honestly the best weight loss advice I can give you is ditch the husband, 150+ pounds off your back overnight.
I wish I had advice about the rest of the matter. If she can't understand that you two simply can't afford a different apartment right now, I'm not sure what will convince her. Maybe explain that if you move to a nicer apartment, you won't have money for dining out, nice gifts, vacations, etc.
Stop making excuses for him. He's not using defence mechanisms, he's not like this because he's been hurt or any other weak justification you care to throw at the wall in the hope that it sticks. He's a manipulative piece of work who is breadcrumbing you (in other words, giving you just enough to keep you trailing after him and hoping for more) because he gets off on you massaging his ego and the power it gives him over you. He's giving you less attention right now because he's getting his fun elsewhere and doesn't need you to top him up, while still doing justabout enough to keep you around in case his other sources dry up.
Listen to your friends. Walk away, cut him off, block him everywhere and start mourning what you thought you had while accepting what you really had (which was nothing but self serving bullshit on his part). There's a chance that once you walk away he'll suddenly have an apparent epiphany and start pursuing you – don't fall for it! It'll just be more manipulation to being you back under his spell and once he feels he has you secured again he'll be back to blowing hard and cold and treating you like shit.
Stop making excuses for him. He's not using defence mechanisms, he's not like this because he's been hurt or any other weak justification you care to throw at the wall in the hope that it sticks. He's a manipulative piece of work who is breadcrumbing you (in other words, giving you just enough to keep you trailing after him and hoping for more) because he gets off on you massaging his ego and the power it gives him over you. He's giving you less attention right now because he's getting his fun elsewhere and doesn't need you to top him up, while still doing justabout enough to keep you around in case his other sources dry up.
Listen to your friends. Walk away, cut him off, block him everywhere and start mourning what you thought you had while accepting what you really had (which was nothing but self serving bullshit on his part). There's a chance that once you walk away he'll suddenly have an apparent epiphany and start pursuing you – don't fall for it! It'll just be more manipulation to being you back under his spell and once he feels he has you secured again he'll be back to blowing very hot and cold and treating you like shit.
Stop making excuses for him. He's not using defence mechanisms, he's not like this because he's been hurt or any other weak justification you care to throw at the wall in the hope that it sticks. He's a manipulative piece of work who is breadcrumbing you (in other words, giving you just enough to keep you trailing after him and hoping for more) because he gets off on you massaging his ego and the power it gives him over you. He's giving you less attention right now because he's getting his fun elsewhere and doesn't need you to top him up, while still doing justabout enough to keep you around in case his other sources dry up.
Listen to your friends. Walk away, cut him off, block him everywhere and start mourning what you thought you had while accepting what you really had (which was nothing but self serving bullshit on his part). There's a chance that once you walk away he'll suddenly have an apparent epiphany and start pursuing you – don't fall for it! It'll just be more manipulation to being you back under his spell and once he feels he has you secured again he'll be back to blowing hard and cold and treating you like shit.
I would not want a partner to move in with me because of financial reasons. That’s a recipe for disaster. Moving in should happen because it’s the next step in the relationship and both partner want it, not because someone lost their job.
Sending a message to ignore this if it’s unwanted is not “demanding her story.”
I appreciate you taking the time to help me out.
I do want to be clear about something, I've not fallen out of love with her. I love her desperately.
And yes it is a large amount of weight. I don't weigh her or anything, but I'd guess 50+ lbs. I feel mean for even saying it, but I'm trying to be accurate.
I do regularly bring up therapy to her. She's steadfast against the idea.
I'm not trying to, like, argue with your assessment. I just feel really stuck. Is it truly best to just break up with and not mention the singular reason? It would be unbelievably cruel to just give a fake reason, I think
Meh bro …these are just women who are trying to get you to stop living life They would all do the same if they could If the girl wanted things to change…all she would need to do is to speak… otherwise continue
She had an abortion last month and you’re worried that you’re not having enough sex?
But he has said he will fight me tooth and nail and will seek full custody just to spite me.
Call and talk with a lawyer, they will give you the best advice of all you can do for you and your daughter. If you have documentation of him saying that, keep hold of it. Regardless mention that to the lawyer.
You can call your state bar and get a referral for an hour consultation that is discounted. It can help you make a plan of what you need to do.
You’re a piece of work
He texted you two hours later??? I would divorce just based on this. I get a text if I’m in the bathroom for more than 15 minutes asking if I’m okay!
Have you asked her as well how she would like to spice things up? Not only giving your preferences but listening to her preferences as well
That phrasing of “making it up to her” and “can use his hands for an extra couple weeks” along with the overall tone has me skeptical that was the commentor's intention. Also that it was a separate commentator and not OP saying it. When I hear “no sex until they make it up to you” that feels transactional.
It feels less like that commentor was trying to be reassuring/supportive of OP in telling her that and more that she was angry on OP's behalf (which is fine but again if the implication was to withhold sex and intimacy as a “punishment' for weeks then that isn't helpful. Not saying that isn't a possibility, but it doesn't read to me that way given the totality of circumstances.
I absolutely agree that she shouldn't force herself to have sex if she is legitimately uncomfortable and that comment is weighing on her. (Though if that discomfort legitimately lasts weeks to months for that comment then I think there are bigger issues in their relationship. I don't know how reasonable that is)
Wait so you've been gone for 3 years and expect to come back into her life and take priority in her life over her soon to be husband? Not only that but you plan on leaving again after 2 months. You don't even know him but yet your judging him. Your not children anymore and she's living her life without you.
“I’m not calling this violence…”
OK THEN I WILL. THATS VIOLENCE!!
Wake up!! He’s only going to get worse. Your steps don’t mean shit if it’s escalated to violence. Get out now and don’t look back. You’re 19, you don’t want a lifetime of that shit towards you or your kids.
It's hilarious when a female tries to deflect away from a problem that women ALSO cause, by trying to make it seem only men can become addicted to porn, and assault other people.
Speaking as a man whose female partner psychologically, emotionally and also physically abused him, you can take your misandric, bigoted ignorance and shove it up your 4th point of contact.
You’re both tackling this in a strange way. The point of “not letting kids win” is to engage and teach them. My dad never “let m@e win cards or backgammon, but our games would last 2-3x longer than his regular games because he’d be narrating the whole time, going over rules again, explain my possible moves, asking me about strategy, telling me his strategy.
At first I would lose, but slowly I began winning. If y’all are playing silently and watching him win or lose then he’s not learning any more than if you let him win, you’re just making him feel shitty for free.
Sorry he just wanted sex and saw that you are developing attachment to him, so he’s put a wall up.
Now, he may unblock you and try to get back in contact again for another booty call, and may love bomb you to get sex, but don’t fall for it. He just wants sex.
Also, get an std check up, especially if he’s a player.
Yup diagnosed depressed and definitely lost. I had what I thought was a great 9 year relationship yesterday and then that collapsed this morning before I’d even had a cup of tea. Going to get me some counselling I think, I don’t really have deep discussions with anyone else but my wife so there’s never been anyone to point it out.
Yup diagnosed depressed and definitely lost. I had what I thought was a great 9 year relationship yesterday and then that collapsed this morning before I’d even had a cup of tea. Going to get me some counselling I think, I don’t really have deep discussions with anyone else but my wife so there’s never been anyone to point it out.
It's only been a month. You don't deserve to be someone he has to think about being with lol
The core issue is the amount of food she eats…. And she needs to cut down
Break up with her easy said and done
Then explain
Herpes isnt a death sentence, but the face she could have just given you a lifelong condition that can be stressful and hurt self esteem because? You asked her for water? That’s some next level bs
You found out before you got married for a reason. He knows it is cheating but he is in a panic because you caught him, if it was ok he would not have hidden it from you.
The way he’s handling this is not healthy, and it’s disrespectful to you. Whether or not you live! in the apartment is immaterial. The fact that he won’t even have a conversation about it is a red flag. True partners discuss things like this. He’s already threatening to leave you if you even bring it up, and worse, he’s threatening to leave you if his ex decides on her own to move out?! What?? That’s crazy. I’m sorry OP but this is not how conflict resolution in a healthy relationship should be. If he’s making a unilateral decision like this now, he will continue to make unilateral decisions for your family. I would reconsider the relationship if he’s unwilling to have a conversation with you.
The way he’s handling this is not healthy, and it’s disrespectful to you. Whether or not you on-line in the apartment is immaterial. The fact that he won’t even have a conversation about it is a red flag. True partners discuss things like this. He’s already threatening to leave you if you even bring it up, and worse, he’s threatening to leave you if his ex decides on her own to move out?! What?? That’s crazy. I’m sorry OP but this is not how conflict resolution in a healthy relationship should be. If he’s making a unilateral decision like this now, he will continue to make unilateral decisions for your family. I would reconsider the relationship if he’s unwilling to have a conversation with you.
Was he really in a different state? Could that be a lie he told you?
I assume you also say “no homo!” before cuddling not-naked?
Why on earth would inheriting the business be contingent on their middle name? I find that hard to believe.
Beyond this one issue, I'd be concerned that his family's ten million traditions will be expected to override your opinions. What else will you be expected to agree to because “that's how my family does it”?
She always says she doesn’t care that I have money cause she’s dated wealthier people in the past, and she’s so certain she can clear her loans within two years. In my mind though, if you clear 100k in years, that means paying for everything else will be still on me
Age is the lesser of the problematic gaps here.
That's tough, I'm sorry to hear it.
Do you know if your ex-BF has tried to ease the sexual urges by engaging in them less, going to less places/websites and masturbated less? Might help him with his conflicted feelings.
Also does he have a lot of other hobbies? Perhaps there's a hole in his life that he doesn't realise and he's trying to fill it with the thing he knows gives off the most of the good hormones?
Regardless I want to say that I think it's very good that you set your boundaries and stick to them. I'm proud that you did this hard thing.
I wish you all the best, whatever the future may hold
Why on earth would you want too invite him?
Fine siblings fight but what he did way went beyond your normal brotherly squabbles.
What did your parents do after he smashed your head against a table and other assaults?
Well, it sucks but you are going to have to chose between your beloved hobby or starting a family. Bc having a child is not easy and it's not fair for your wife if she has to do all the care taking of your baby.
Sounds like you’re burning out on giving everything and getting nothing in return. You love him now, but over time you’re probably going to lose attraction and respect for your partner as this dynamic continues.
Supporting your husband sometimes means telling him to get off his ass, get a fucking job, and do the dishes.
You’re enabling his behavior. We all want jobs that matter in our fields, but here’s a reality check: for most of us it doesn’t work out that way. Half of us are depressed and stay functional.
Key takeaway here. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re functionally a mom to your husband and getting sick of it, though you haven’t acknowledged it yet.
Right here, right now, you being a supportive wife means holding your husband accountable and pushing him to be better.
Whew! Well, that's good!
So, leave the room. Every time.
You set a reasonable boundary. She's willing to do nothing at all to accommodate you.
I hope he leaves you
also i don’t mind that she took nudes when in her past relationship like i said it was more about the lying
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I messed up
Ok I know snooping is bad and I feel guilty for doing this but I need to get this off my chest. My Gf (22) and me (22) have been dating for 3 months now and things have been wonderful, she is literally to greatest woman alive and I love her to death. We met on a dating app and were just friends for 2 months before we became official and started our committed relationship. But the thing is during those 2 months nothing was different. I treated her like my girlfriend and she treated me like her boyfriend. This is where I made a mistake. So recently my girlfriend has just gotten a brand new phone and kept her old phone as a backup. She hadn’t cleared her stuff off of it yet so it still had all her old texts and photos. She was at work and I was at her place cleaning up. I saw her old phone and I don’t know what came over me but I started going through it. This is where I came across a name I remember seeing when we first met. I went through the messages and they were very explicit. I was shocked. I looked at the dates and it was 2 weeks after we had first met. I know this isn’t technically cheating because we were just friends and she was free to see other people but it hurts because back then she told me she wasn’t seeing anybody else. I know I’m in the wrong because I shouldn’t have been snooping and I got what I deserved and I just feel so guilty for knowing something that I wasn’t suppose to know. How do I confess to her that I know she lied?
Edit: based on the messages they did meet at least twice and they did some explicit flirting about they’re time together. Honestly I’m not upset about the whole old fling thing, I’m more upset with myself and how I betrayed her and now have this secret that she deserves to know about but I’m just too scared of the outcome.
Just tell him. He probably thinks you don't like it because you used to not let him. You could always tell him you think it would be hard to 69 or something.
If you are getting this frustrated after only one month, how do you expect to handle all the many challenges that life will present you with? you need some patience.
So tell me why do you have to be a creep and check them out then?
Kinda sad they can't wear what they want to wear without someone like you constantly making them uncomfortable.
Your sentence says it all. Don't devote your youth to this guy. There are others out there who would love to give you gifts.
Health reasons aside, I think emotional cheating is worse because it’s more intimate and sex can be just sex.
I would've stopped the car and let him out. The level of disrespect is incredulous
His lack of intelligence bothers you enough that you resort to posting here seeking advice when really, the only thing we can tell you is to leave him since it’s not something he can change and clearly, it bothers you so much. I’m not judging you, I’m just not sure what else you can possible hear here
Sounds like you've put up with a lot of BS from her and it's time to cut ties. No need to feel guilty about leavin' her hangin' either, she's been lyin' and cheatin' on you multiple times. That's not the behavior of someone who truly loves you and is committed to the relationship. Plus, you got a new job and she just quit hers, so it's not like you're leaving her in the lurch financially. You gotta look out for yourself bro, don't let her manipulate you into stayin' in a toxic relationship. Good luck on your new journey.
I'd be interested to know how the friend asked about you.
He isn't ready to marry you. I would tend to think he won't be anytime soon. Do with that as you will.
What??? They’re just taking advantage of you dude. Stop being so concerned about being polite, you’re making yourself a doormat. The phone was the gift. You don’t have to pay her phone bill. If she wants to argue that bad then block her.
Someone call Nev
It’s normal to feel attracted to other people. What matters is that you don’t do anything about it. Try to create automatic thought sequences for yourself that are more productive, eg. “She’s hot —> so is my gf —> I’ve had lots of flings and none have been as amazing as my gf —> I’m lucky to be with her and we’re happy and I never want to hurt her” NOT “she’s naked —> I could probably fuck her if I wanted —> ugh I’m missing out”
You’ll probably get less horny when you age, but try to channel your horniness into your gf instead.
She sounds like an absolute nightmare. Relationships are supposed to make you happy.
She sounds like an absolute nightmare. Relationships are supposed to make you happy.
Why you guys can’t read the whole situation, if it was only those he would have been ok. But she hoards sugars, some silica shit and probably more things. It become weirder.
OP you don’t seem very introspective to put it as kindly as I can find the words for
You dn't have a choice, though? She has already given up on you.
People will escalate when facing blatant RACISM.
I made often the first move but they end up asking me if I fancy a joint and that's how it ends
I mean, this sort of says it all. You lead very different lifestyles. They dress alternative and smoke and etc. You don't. Stuff like that probably matters a lot more than how you are dressed.
If you 'other' them when around them even a fraction as much as you do in this post they likely sense you aren't really comfortable there.
Nah, she's doing the right thing for herself and that's ok. Even with so-called amateur porn it can still be questionable as to if there was consent and everyone was of age. It's often misogynistic and degrading to women. There's a lot of straight up violence against women that has been reframed as “kink”.
Watching porn is very common with the internet and modern ease of access to it but that doesn't make it ok. You can still masturbate without porn. People did that for literally thousands of years before porn became so commonplace.
A lot of women are tired of their partner's porn use. I'm not saying you're a bad person for watching it but you have to understand that if porn is that important to you then you might not be ready for a committed, monogamous relationship. I'm opposed to porn from a feminist standpoint. It was nothing to do with insecurity or religion as I'm a lifelong atheist. Maybe the two of you can work out a compromise or fibd common ground on this issue but if you don't then her feelings of opposition to porn are valid.
I’ve had to share a room with a male coworker. I hated it and wished I could have my own room, but our per diem wasn’t high enough to cover us having separate rooms.
If I could have switched, I would have. You definitely need to ask her why this is happening
We don't know what was meant or if the sister hated him. Maybe the kid was talking about the siblings. We can not know exactly what that kid meant. I hardly thinknthe sisters would invite their brother if they hated hom just for the gifts.
I still think op is telling on himself in his post.
I recommended it because I have issues with noise in my house and white noise machines aren't loud enough to do anything. An air purifier is…
Punks specifically. Punks who have been fully immersed into the culture since youth have a hot time connecting with people who aren’t also life long punks. You can’t date someone who doesn’t like the same music, art, books, politics and as you and is afraid of your friends. Also the life is quite different. I’m 35. I have been a punk since I was about 9 years old. I couldn’t imagine dating someone who isn’t at least a bit involved in the scene. I know love finds a way and all that but the idea of an md coming to weird punx picnics and skateparks and the diy shows just doesn’t seem like reality.
You need to remove yourself from this situation. This woman is using you for emotional support but has no intention of ever dating you. She keeps you around because you do stuff for her and are always there for her. That said, you do the same in reverse. You are there for her in the hope she’ll date you one day so everything becomes transactional. Your reaction was also OTT. You should have taken a break from the friendship until you processed the news. All the yelling and accusations are not helping anyone. Bottom line, if you want this person in your life, you have to accept she will only see you as a friend. Personally, I think it’s a very unhealthy relationship.
You can do a bachelorette party, no one is stopping you. The only thing you can’t do is drink alcohol. It sounds like alcohol is too big of a part of both your lives, and you’re jealous that he can still drink.
If alcohol is such a big part of your life that you can’t have a bachelorette party unless you can drink, that’s very concerning. However, if that’s the case, plan one for after you’ve had the baby.
If you’re having trouble staying sober if he’s drinking around you, that’s a separate issue. Staying sober needs to be the top priority, so get help if you need it.
You need to remove yourself from this situation. This woman is using you for emotional support but has no intention of ever dating you. She keeps you around because you do stuff for her and are always there for her. That said, you do the same in reverse. You are there for her in the hope she’ll date you one day so everything becomes transactional. Your reaction was also OTT. You should have taken a break from the friendship until you processed the news. All the yelling and accusations are not helping anyone. Bottom line, if you want this person in your life, you have to accept she will only see you as a friend. Personally, I think it’s a very unhealthy relationship.
First, I'm very sorry she put you through that.
Second, I'm curious what that trash's mental malfunction is that she and this dude – who she will not stop fucking with no matter how many of her relationships it ruins – don't just take each other off the market.
My suggestion to you is to take some time out of the dating pool, and find a therapist to help you process what happened. Once you've processed it and taken what lessons from it you can, it's easier to move forward in a healthier way. I've dealt with cheaters a few times, so I can tell you there's a light at the end.
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Biggest question is if you knew what type of flowers she liked. A relationship for 14 months and you have bought her flowers before. You said she mostly liked them which means she made a comment about what she liked and you weren't listening. I think you should get her the correct flowers.
Wtf happened that you two sisters are this broken?
If he’s lying he’s cheating at least emotionally and that’s just as bad you did the right thing
You get divorced, you try and set her up on an apartment for 6 months and after that she's on her own. She had it together enough to get into a relationship with you. I'm sure once you've left, she pull it together enough to find someone else to take care of her.
That’s not a best friend, that’s a crutch.
My fiance had a best friend like this when we first started dating. Insisted they were best friends when in fact they had a FWB arrangement whenever they were single. I told them, “You must think I’m stupid if you think I’m going stick around while you parade your backup plan around as your best friend. Either she goes or I go.” So-called best friend was immediately blocked that night and we never looked back.
Of course your girlfriends hated it. They must have felt like the crazy ones everytime you explained how it was just a unique type of best friend arrangement.
I'm so sorry. This marriage is over. She has her own life, and it is not connected with yours. She told you, but it seems she wants to let you down softly. This love is not the love between husband and wife anymore, it is the memory of the love that has been there. You probably did nothing wrong, and she probably didn't either, but while being apart those feelings got lost. And now she wants to end it without hurting you to much, but of course it hurts. You feelings are still there… When you are gone she doesn't really miss you, and when you are back she feels like “uff, I want my time for myself again, he is disrupting my life”. For you it different, when you go away you have this life, but when you come back you want the with her. Being apart for long times is a destroyer of relationships…Accept it, and try to divorce amicable. All the best.
End it. Cut her off cold turkey. Block her everywhere. You've been shown over and over she doesn't respect you or your feelings. Your never going to be fully happy in any type of relationship with her. She took your self worth and trust and repeaditly threw it in the garbage. Do this for you.
I understand. Maybe I’m overthinking because i wish he showed at least the slightest care.. he didnt even help me at all. But i get it , maybe it was because he got annoyed seeing me in that state, especially because he has work in the morning.
And about the driving, i didnt drive of course! My boyfriend was the one who drove (he wasnt drunk. He drank but he was pretty much sober). Thank you for the reply! We still havent spoken yet since that happened, there’s a part of me that still feels upset.
That's wack I would be outtie
Have you actually, I dunno, talked with Kay about it? Forget the cameras. Talk with her about it. Right now your imagination is coming up with these scenarios. Talk with her and find out for certain.
You are NOT OBLIGATED TO RAISE ANOTHER PERSONS KID…. you tried, you couldn't, and thats all you can do.
You were at a breaking point.
My gf had done intensive therapy and healing, but the boys are a mess. To no fault of their own.
Just because they are kids, does not mean they cannot be at fault. The 14 year old will be the first to realize they helped make their mom a continued victim of their dads behavior by acting out like this because she wants a relationship. The sooner it happens the better.
“tell your douchebag bf to leave. You know we hate him. He is scary.”
This ain't your pig, and ain't your farm. You did not marry this woman(yet), you are not obligated to do anything for her kids, and technically, you CAN'T.
If he’s doing sexual things to you in your sleep, and you don’t want him to do those things, then yes he is sexually assaulting you in your sleep. He may not see it that way, but if he can’t control his behavior in this situation, then I don’t see how you can continue to be together.
This does not sound like it was ever a healthy relationship. It sounds like it was never really a relationship and you wore her down (sorry) into ‘giving you a chance’ and it reinforced to her that you weren’t what she wanted.
I would be very interested to hear your ex girlfriend’s narrative as I feel it would read very differently
Men tend to cheat when their partner is pregnant. You want to figure this out before you have the baby.
Overreacting! Pre wedding jitters maybe?
People in “committed relationships” use social media all the time, often even to communicate with opposite gender friends. It's often difficult (and potentially dangerous) to deny a guy your SM deets when you're a woman being confronted in public. It's usually easier, and safer, to just give over the information then block them later. There's no need to tell your boyfriend about this unless this guy tracks you down at the gym and has a go at you. That's when you report it to the gym management and mention it to your boyfriend (because at that point he'd need to take measures to enhance his own personal safety). Unfortunately you can never know who's just shooting his shot and who might become a volatile stalker.
Maybe, but you are not in a relationship with them. It's not what they say or do that matter, it's the fact that your boyfriend is at best not defending you/listening or at worst give them the information that lead them to say or do those things.
And then you have the much more clearer issue of his hometown. It's not his friend that forced him to lie to you so you would go out with him even if he had never any intention to living in your city. It's not his friends that make you feel guilty and breaking your boundary to go live! in his hometown.
That’s tough.
Is there anyway you can setup a meeting at a park or a restaurant?
Maybe if they see how he treats you and how he really wants to be a part of your family, they will understand.
Maybe….
But it sounds like they’ve put their heels in the sand and aren’t budging.
I’m sorry that you are having to go thru this.
Your young and should be out having fun and experiencing life.
Truthfully, the best thing for it right now is to give her some space. You were uncharacteristically cruel and hit her where it likely hurts the most when she was only trying to be honest. If I were in her shoes, I'd be rethinking things because of how you responded, not about the kids thing. She needs to come back from your response first; then worry about if kids are a dealbreaker for you or not.
FWIW, I am in a relationship where he wants to be with me more than the idea of having children. But there was a time when he tried to discuss some conflicting emotions and instead of a discussion, I told him to leave (we weren't living together at that time). We worked things out – it's been nearly 2.5 years since then, and just over 3 total together – but I regret hardcore not talking to him when he was trying to open up. I don't think we would have temporarily broken up if we'd talked instead.
I pity anyone getting into a relationship with you. Yikes.
& I bet you this isn’t the first negative reaction he’s given to her being hesitant or against kids. Maybe in subtle ways he’s manipulated her into not speaking up about not wanting kids.
I hope it does get easier. Telling her about my feelings wouldn't be a good option considering we are both planning our long term careers with this company.
This will happen again, and next time you may not have a room full of witnesses to intervene.
If he doesn't understand how to gain respect from an animal, then he doesn't understand how to gain respect from people. Take a look at one of your sentences that I rearranged to be from the perspective of anybody, you or the dog or a child.
When I get annoying he SCREAMS at me and when I don’t listen he has hit me in the head, kicked me in the side, and flung me around.
This is how he lives life, through domination and control. If he refuses to learn how to better treat the dog, you'll eventually be the one saying that sentence. Toxic masculinity. He probably treats people better than animals, but only because he has things to gain from befriending people. He hasn't needed to put on the steel toe shoes for you, yet. You beg all you want but never do anything about it, not much different than the dog in his eyes. He completely disrespects your opinion and emotions when you try to reason with him, that will NEVER ever change girl.
he doesn’t seem to care.
That right there is all the answer you need, to get out and take that poor dog with you. You have the potential to be a great dog owner, but you aren't right now because you allow this abuse.
There's a discussion to be made if things aren't going too slow if you have been dating for a while and still aren't official yet, but I imagine the reason you haven't been invited might simply be because you weren't that serious when they planned their holidays more than him trying to keep you out of the group?
In any case, I do feel like this is a situation that should be approached from two sides: First, it's OK, IMO, to tell him you're sad that you aren't there to share those moments with him, if only so you can get involved in future trips. You don't need to present it in a way that makes him feel bad about it, just as a spring point to push your relationship further. On the other hand, I also believe you should do some personal work because it's also fine (and pretty important) for either of you to have fun without the other. So it would probably be best to put the finger on why you're more sad and feeling left out than feeling happy he's having fun and try to address the causes.
The dad was in jail and wanted to keep the child, mom ran away with the other kids. Depending on how long he's in jail, it might or might not make sense to give the child back. Depending on the crime, it might or might not make sense to give the child back.
Thanks and I don't think I'm an extreme anomaly so hopefully I won't have a serious problem if I'm careful
When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. He absolutely cannot be trusted with anything now. Ever again in my opinion.
It's sus to want to block your exes gf? Why?
You're being weird about it.
Why are you in a relationship with double standards in the first place?
This one definitely belongs on r/JustBootThings
He told me he’d call his colleague right on the spot and put it on speaker but I rejected the idea and I wish I didn’t. I rejected it during that moment because I was in a mentally drained state and thought he could have just asked his colleague to lie for him.
Just ran off based on intuition and the fact that I didn’t see anything suspicious on his phone, including safari. Didn’t see that website visited.
I could not agree more, except I'm willing to give you some grace for being an idiot and recognizing that you are an idiot. I'm also old enough to be your mom, and to remember a time when women put up with this kind of behavior from a man who enabled them to be a stay at home wife and mom – or at least forgave it the first time.
Here is the thing, though… Part of you has to worry that the entire thing will happen again. The health issues, the depression… So if she does forgive you and the two of you decide for another baby, you need to do the work ahead of time to make sure that you have someone to come in and help with the house and make sure there are healthy meals ready to pop in the oven, and you need to make sure she has a therapist, and you need to devote yourself to work and home. No going out, no face time with women outside of what is absolutely required for you to do your job.
Because you aren't trustworthy.
that’s always what i think, if the top comments are questioning whether it’s real it’s almost certainly not, especially if it’s a sub like AITA or RA
OP's GF made a very bad choice of going to a private college, a state school would have saved her tons.
I’m happy and proud of you for breaking it off. It’s very hot to leave an abusive relationship because it doesn’t happen all at once. Usually it takes a final straw kind of thing to make you cut ties for good. Im glad you found it before you got married. As others suggested, make a list of all the things he’s done and said to make you feel less than or doubt yourself. You can find someone so much better. Hugs!
Well she doesn't say the yes to no “mental gymnastics”.
No no. Don’t trust him, similar situation happened with my ex and he ended up raping me because I never wanted to, I always wanted to wait until I was married (personal reasons). And my ex said the SAMEEE exact thing “I could do it if I really wanted to” or some bs, it will lead to that if he has that mentality. Take it from someone that was in that exact situation, it will HIGHLY likely lead to that
I think i just had a lot of hopes from this relationship and had my heart broken royally. I am trying to move on.
If I'm understanding correctly, You're reacting the same way you did the first time he did this. The same way as when he was in agreement that these actions were too much and not okay. He knows that he's going too far but rather than admit this wants to put the blame on you and continue.
You told him what your boundaries on this were and he is now not just violating them but saying you're wrong for having them. I think it would be safe to say that he doesn't respect your boundaries and can't be trusted. As hard as it is to do, I'd move on.
Sorry I’d be kind of annoyed too…it sounds like she’s taking care of you instead of the other way around and women like to be taken care of a little bit. She seems like a person with initiative which seems like something you lack
Sorry you are going through this. Contact immigration and file a fraud claim against him. He was using you.
Let her go, bro. Women have a window for that stuff. If you aren't ready you're wasting her time.
There's so many options to take before the nuclear option.
Date again, try new things, explore sexually, therapy, etc etc.
Your generation is weird to me. I know nothing about my husband's sexual history, and he knows nothing about mine. I have never told a partner about previous sexual partners.
You break up with him and let him fuck who he wants.
Don’t let him pressure or manipulate you into crossing your boundaries
cut it off
I'm not arguing your right to choose because it has nothing to do with anything. The kid is already here the decisions have already been made.
I'm sorry for assuming but that's why I asked first and that's why I said I was only making an assumption but it really doesn't change my opinion. As someone who was raised by a single mother who knew my father was incapable of being a decent parent and left him when I was still young. I can tell you you're setting this kid up for a less than ideal life with your mentality.
You grew up with your parents so you don't know how it feels to grow up without a dad. Wondering why your parents aren't like everyone else's, how it feels to watch someone do stuff with their dad when you haven't seen yours in years. How awful it feels thinking you're the reason your parents don't like each other and that list can go on and on you have no idea how much therapy I still need just because my father wasn't there. Now obviously a healthy one parent household is better than a unhealthy two parent household but nothing is better than a healthy two parent household and you've made the decision for yourself to deny that from your child.