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Date: November 14, 2022
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I thought I was supporting her but in retrospect I probably did not spend enough time with her. I have a bunch of hobbies and my time is generally pretty filled. She did express desire about wanting to do more things together. She'd always tell me that we never talk, but I always thought that we talked a lot so.. I guess we may really have just had different expectations. It's also naked to compete with an unemployed guy on how much time I can devote to spending with her.
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Hahah oh my God I love this analogy!
Seriously though OP, your girlfriend sounds like a LOT of work. Which is often true of people who are willing to do a lot for others – they have high expectations of themselves for how much they put themselves out in service to those they care about. BUT this often means that they have equally high standards for how they want to be treated, and act as though this is just normal and everyone should know that this is how you behave in a crisis/on holidays/at a wedding/whatever other specific situation you’re in. And if you’re not someone who “gets” these expectations – and if the other person won’t bother explaining to you how you can better meet their needs, or accepting that maybe other people just do things differently – then you’re forever in the position of being inadequate in their eyes. And it sounds like this is where you’ve been stuck at.
You’ve stuck this out for 4 years. I’m not sure what more you can give to this relationship without utterly compromising your own happiness.
That’s a pretty big invasion of privacy
Your friend is an asshole, don’t chase her, she’s a poor excuse of a friend. I don’t even follow her damn logic.
Y'all need a poop knife.
Think you’ve got to back out to just normal gf actions, not working for him part time, or paying his way. If he breaks up, then that is why he wanted to be with you and better you know now.
Also by doing all this and paying his way, you are enabling his behavior and lifestyle.
Yeah, before you date someone they are a strangers
?
You two are literal kids—wayyyyy too young to even mess around with an unnecessary amount of stress and drama over something that’s usually destructive to most relationships like a threesome of ANY degree.
Look dude. Your girlfriend most likely has someone in mind for a threesome and now wants “permission” to cheat so you can’t get mad at her or otherwise she’s being greedy as fuck and clearly still wants to keep you attached while screwing around on you. Either way I’d tap out and just ask her who she has in mind. Depending on her answer you’ll know this dude is probably someone you either both know or someone she goes to school/work with that you’re uncomfortable with.
This is a disaster waiting to happen IF YOU LET IT.
Sorry man but this relationship is over. Time to pack and go—you aren’t special and she’s going to keep pushing the threesome idea until she cheats unless she has already. 9 times out of 10 she probably has already. It’s the same story every time, just told on a different day.
Anyone who wants to hold you back to keep you close to them is not looking out for your best interests
What about offering your wife a new tradition, a get away for just the two of you?
Let her know you would love the time with just her to yourself
Are you friends with the boyfriend of the other girlfriend who's cheating? Maybe you both can help each other out?
Firstly, you can't make anyone understand anything. Stop trying to make her understand, that's just not gonna end well. All you can do if offer your explanation, answer any questions she has, and hope she understands, but you cannot “make” her.
As for the kids talk, these days that talk isn't actually as taboo a topic of discussion whilst dating because more and more people are realizing and accepting they don't want kids, so we kinda have to have that conversation pretty early on. Even 10 years ago, that would have been an awkward question, but in modern times not so much. Like I even go so far as to make sure on the first date they know I don't want kids (obviously in a casual manner casually slipped into casual conversation lol).
Oh my gosh thats so silly thats so on them then you need to follow up on these things
Go to your graduation. It's ridiculous your family expects you to miss your med school graduation! You shed blood, sweat, and tears to become a doctor, you deserve to walk across that stage!
This is one of those very tricky situations. From a legal perspective, he doesn't live with you. He goes over to your place for half the week which logically makes sense given the overall situation. Now, realistically, is his presence materially contributing to the cost of your expenses? I'd have to assume that's not the case.
To address the big picture here though, you two have been together for three months. Him coming over in the context of two people dating shouldn't be considered as an argument for him contributing to your expenses. If it was clear that he was using you and essentially mooching off of you, then this would be a different conversation. You haven't presented that though.
You have, however, told us that he's been a great partner and has contributed in other ways. You're in no position to suggest this to him. No one forced you to get this apartment. You not being able to afford your hobbies sucks, and I'm sorry, but you can't put that on him.
Depends on her personality, personally I’d be pissed if my partner expected me to act like a dress up doll as a present (or ever for that matter).
No he’s not. I’ve asked him to and he responds by saying “okay then you cut one of your friends out, how would I even do that?” Its really childish But also bc of the business there would be legal/financial implications for him to completely cut her out of his life