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Date: February 12, 2023
AmateurPub
Recovering alcoholic here, and your information is incomplete. Heavy or binge drinkers can have blackouts, but not always. Often it’s like fading in and out of consciousness, even at the time (as opposed to just how you remember it later)—you can “wake up” doing something you’re surprised about. Or you can black out for varying lengths of time (a couple of minutes or days).
You often don’t make smart decisions when very drunk, and sometimes can make choices that are not in line with your values. You hear a lot of “people do when drunk what they wish they could do when sober, but that was not true for me and doesn’t seem to have been true for people in the AA meetings I attend. You do when drunk what a weird zombie with a half-poisoned brain somewhat haphazardly chooses to do when drunk. For example, almost no sober person believes drunk driving is safe and morally correct. Yet this morning, a not-insignificant number of people woke up at home or in a jail cell, either remembering or not remembering they drove drunk last night.
You can also wake up and not remember the night before, but then little pieces of it come back to you. In my experience that never happened years later, though—there’s one night 20+ years ago and I’d like to know what I was up to, but it seems my brain just didn’t write it to memory.
Side note, and I am aware this will not be a popular thing for me to bring up: today, in many jurisdictions, it’s not possible to give consent while drunk (meaning drunk sex is legally rape). Laws vary (for example, Minnesota recently overturned a felony rape conviction because the victim got drunk voluntarily), but organizations like RAINN say consent cannot be given if someone is underage, intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious.
Sorry for the wall of text! And please note, I didn’t write all that out in aid of backing up any sort of opinion about OP’s situation. I think OP’s wife is pretty suspect for making up the rape story—there were lots of ways to handle what happened, and if she chose to lie there were so many lies that didn’t involve rape. And why tell him now? It can only be to clear her own conscience and put down the heavy burden she was carrying… but she placed it right onto OP’s shoulders.
Thanks. I have a therapist and this situation is kind of unique but I hope this comment is helpful for someone else – it’s great advice!
I know of another couple with a similar age gap (late 30s/early 50s), who got married even though they knew that they weren't on the same page with children.
The older one had 2 daughters from a previous marriage, who were in their late teens at the beginning of the relationship. Their stance was “I'm done, I did the whole newborn thing. I did the 4am wakeup on weekends for sport. The picking up at 2am when they got drunk at their mates place. Been there, done that, don't want to do it all over again. I am TIRED”.
The younger one wanted children. They wanted all of those things.
They got married about 5 years ago and officially separated last month. A major factor was the building resentment over the children issue.
She probably thought you were crazy because nothing you said made any sense nor has nay true basis in reality.
This isn’t about what your mother wants.
She made her choice when she left your dad for your step dad. She made her choice when she moved you away from your loving father.
It’s time to make your own choice for yourself. Do what you want and what reflects your reality.
What your husband is doing is manipulating you into dropping the subject of his road rage. If he threatens to off himself he is hoping you will stop talking about it and then he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of his own actions. He is dangerous and this situation isn’t healthy.