Your bachelorette party is suppose to be planned by your MOH. Your fiance's family is dead wrong and they need to back the fuck off. They don't get to decide the budget.
If they want a more expensive party then they can either pay for all of it, or make up the difference. Your friend's ideas sound really nice. Not every bride and groom want an expensive party.
Your fiance needs to talk to them and tell them they have no right to dictate what others spend. Not everyone has money like they do. They are making it all about them. Do you even want the party they want, or do you want something more low key?
This is what you really need to focus on. The unfortunate reality is that the two of you were incompatible from day one. As an aside, I honestly firmly believe that the cause of most divorces and the end of long term relationships is people learning they're incompatible from the beginning but forcing the relationship anyway until they can't anymore. To back up, I feel like I'm being a bit aggressive here, so I apologize for coming off as mean; that's truly not my intention.
So she wasn't sure if she wanted children or marriage. I'm going to assume you want both. It's obviously fine if she wasn't/isn't sure, but if you know what you want, you logically shouldn't commit to anything based on nothing but hope that you'll be compatible. Again, I'm not trying to rub it in and I get it's now a moot point, but the key here is you need to learn from it, which I'll get more into to hopefully ease your fears. Anyway, she shrugged it off and gave you the impression it wasn't a big deal, but the reality is that marriage and children are inherently big deals. Knowing you want them, just because she doesn't think they're a big deal doesn't mean you should just agree and let it be swept under the rug. You then say you guess you both avoided getting serious about the subject, but unfortunately, it was you who shouldn't have avoided it. Of course she did; she didn't and doesn't want those things. I digress, because what I say next is really what matters.
Dating is the process of getting to know someone to see if you're a fit and you're compatible. If over the process of dating, be it the first date or any subsequent dates you have you learn you're incompatible or you identify red flags, walk away. It's not a failure to do so. It would, however, be a failure to learn that you're incompatible with someone, ignore what you learned from your last relationship, and continue on despite knowing it logically won't work.
So now to specifically address your concern, you shouldn't want to do a repeat of your ex once, let alone a couple more times. If you actually pay attention and don't force something that's not right, then you won't end up in a three or six year situation that ends. Your last relationship shouldn't have lasted past the conversation about your future goals. I'm obviously certain you had great memories, were in love, and there was a lot of good that you're going to struggle letting go of (and that's normal), but again, great as a lot of your relationship might have been, it was doomed to fail from the start. You're not a bad person for “leaving her behind.” You're recognizing that you're not right for each other. It's not out of malice. Good luck.
I didn't say she was lying about it happening or not entirely, I'm pointing out that she's not being completely truthful based on what I know has happened.
They are separated. Changes that this would work out are not that big. He says he may want more childeren if it wont work out. Why does he have to be sure it will work out now? He wants to try but its trying… Not betting something that big on it.
So you should have left your sister in her own feces? Come on. How the hell were you supposed to clean her up? It’s your SISTER.
Your bachelorette party is suppose to be planned by your MOH. Your fiance's family is dead wrong and they need to back the fuck off. They don't get to decide the budget.
If they want a more expensive party then they can either pay for all of it, or make up the difference. Your friend's ideas sound really nice. Not every bride and groom want an expensive party.
Your fiance needs to talk to them and tell them they have no right to dictate what others spend. Not everyone has money like they do. They are making it all about them. Do you even want the party they want, or do you want something more low key?
He was cheating you guys ?
This is what you really need to focus on. The unfortunate reality is that the two of you were incompatible from day one. As an aside, I honestly firmly believe that the cause of most divorces and the end of long term relationships is people learning they're incompatible from the beginning but forcing the relationship anyway until they can't anymore. To back up, I feel like I'm being a bit aggressive here, so I apologize for coming off as mean; that's truly not my intention.
So she wasn't sure if she wanted children or marriage. I'm going to assume you want both. It's obviously fine if she wasn't/isn't sure, but if you know what you want, you logically shouldn't commit to anything based on nothing but hope that you'll be compatible. Again, I'm not trying to rub it in and I get it's now a moot point, but the key here is you need to learn from it, which I'll get more into to hopefully ease your fears. Anyway, she shrugged it off and gave you the impression it wasn't a big deal, but the reality is that marriage and children are inherently big deals. Knowing you want them, just because she doesn't think they're a big deal doesn't mean you should just agree and let it be swept under the rug. You then say you guess you both avoided getting serious about the subject, but unfortunately, it was you who shouldn't have avoided it. Of course she did; she didn't and doesn't want those things. I digress, because what I say next is really what matters.
Dating is the process of getting to know someone to see if you're a fit and you're compatible. If over the process of dating, be it the first date or any subsequent dates you have you learn you're incompatible or you identify red flags, walk away. It's not a failure to do so. It would, however, be a failure to learn that you're incompatible with someone, ignore what you learned from your last relationship, and continue on despite knowing it logically won't work.
So now to specifically address your concern, you shouldn't want to do a repeat of your ex once, let alone a couple more times. If you actually pay attention and don't force something that's not right, then you won't end up in a three or six year situation that ends. Your last relationship shouldn't have lasted past the conversation about your future goals. I'm obviously certain you had great memories, were in love, and there was a lot of good that you're going to struggle letting go of (and that's normal), but again, great as a lot of your relationship might have been, it was doomed to fail from the start. You're not a bad person for “leaving her behind.” You're recognizing that you're not right for each other. It's not out of malice. Good luck.
I didn't say she was lying about it happening or not entirely, I'm pointing out that she's not being completely truthful based on what I know has happened.
Something along the lines of “I've never insulted your penis, I've always loved it, my ex was too big and made me squirt.”
They are separated. Changes that this would work out are not that big. He says he may want more childeren if it wont work out. Why does he have to be sure it will work out now? He wants to try but its trying… Not betting something that big on it.