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Sarah&Marc, y.o.
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Date: November 20, 2022
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I don't think it's toxic, but I do think it's immature and unsustainable.
Trust is part of life. If you stay with this man, you may very well have to trust him with your life, and the same goes for him. You don't even trust each other to be alone in the presence of another adult human. How do you build trust to have a real life together?
How does this work, over the long term? How do you have effective work relationships? What if one of you needs to work closely with an adult human in your job, are you going to call in a chaperone? Tell your boss you can't do the work because you can't be alone with a man? Really?
I get it. You always wanna protect and “save” someone you love. Your hearts in the right place but this is not the way to do it.
She is not a toddler. You absolutely do not need to carry her away from a situation. She is an adult that needs to fuck up sometimes. You can't always protect her. What are you gonna do next? Tell her she can't leave anywhere without you? She can't go out anymore? She needs to call/facetime you any second she leaves? You going to a party uninvited to force her away is the beginning of a controlling and abusive relationship, whether you have good intentions or not.
You are not her parent. You are not her guardian angel. I know it sucks and you want the best for her, but she has to help herself first.