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sarah-hoffman chat
Date: September 27, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
sarah-hoffman chat
I don’t care about the attention, in fact I’d rather not get hit on because my boyfriend doesn’t like it (understandably).
I just don’t like that this is such a big deal and he wanted me to block him, I just wanted to laugh at it with him, it’s not that important for me, idk. I also don’t wanna lose a follower (yeah most stupid reason ever, but it’s not even the main one and even if it’s silly it’s not wrong). Ofc if this person kept hitting on me I’d have no problem blocking him, but I don’t see the issue since he shut up and it happened just once
Well, some guys really love those crazy women, I guess.
I have done all those things except for praying together she doesn’t want to speak to me rn
yeah sure when i already put in over 1k in our child clothes and necessities. just cause im leaving her dont mean ima neglect my child dummy
Yes, good. Clubs have the double payoff of making new friends and providing an escape from your studies with a hobby you already enjoy.
Oh, and when guys (or anyone really) get crude on text messages, its okay to get nasty yourself (but in a single reply, don't engage), or just ignore and block. Guys like this are using spam techniques. He replies to hundreds of women hoping for a few replies. By saying no, but even just replying with any level of respect at all, it was a message to him that sex was on the table if he just kept trying. The only reply should have been “No way. F__K off.” Just a bit of advice from an old guy.
I hope your studies go well. Cheers.
Not sure why you are on here asking for advice. You said you are done having kids and tolerated his behavior 3 times. So if he thinks you are cheating he’ll come up with something else for you to do to prove your loyalty and fidelity.
This is all sus so just like what everyone suggested- do sleuthing because there's a possibility of them manipulating your children into excluding you for their own self-interests
Never again
she's not demanding anything? she's just trying to share her perspective on it with her boyfriend. how is this different from someone being uncomfortable with their partner watching porn?
It's okay if you stay at work, but let your partner know about the situation and let them leave you if they want.
Poly guy. I practice ethical non monogamy. What’s she’s doing is called rules for thee, but not for me. It is unfair and will destroy your relationship. Honestly, overcoming the insecurities is a lot of work. She expects you to put in effort but isn’t willing to do the same? An open relationship has to be ubiquitous.
Beyond all that, she’s dismissed your feelings and crossed boundaries already. The trust is broken. You’ll never be able to mend it with the distance in both time and space.
Personally, I’d untether myself from her at least until she gets back. I’d chase what made me happy and if I found someone that was a better fit, I’d move on.
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Don’t forget that he’s also doing it because he needs a place to live!! What a piece of shit.
Sounds like manipulation
You’re over reacting and over thinking everything. Are you gay?
If someone told me they are just uncomfortable with their spouse being an underwear model, I would think that's reasonable. There are many things that aren't full on cheating, but they can still make your spouse uncomfortable.
And just to be clear, I think his feelings on that are valid, but I completely agree with you that he went way too far by calling the employer and involving op's mothers. That is just controlling, and him feeling uncountable doesn't justify it.
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They can afford to because you don't know them…
Don't expect to parent the adult. She doesn't need a new dad. You'll always just be “mom's new boyfriend” to her.
You should sit down with your GF and have a proper discussion about expectations as a family unit though. 22 is an adult, but she's also freeloading if she's not paying rent or helping out around the house(most people grow out of the broody teenager phase by this point, just fyi). Your girlfriend is the one who needs to have that discussion with her daughter though, not you.
The younger one is a whole different game. You should settle on what your expected contribution is with her now, while the situation is still fresh. Are you going to be her “new dad” or are you just “mom's boyfriend”?
Good grief! OP, I guarantee that your friends and family are worried sick about you. Get away from this woman before she destroys you.
So she’s not only beating you at chess in the game but in real life too? ?
Play her in chess. You should be able to tell if she’s fake losing. If she beats u then u know she’s letting him win. If she lets u beat her rub it in her face til she decides to beat u to shut u up (only if she can handle it, not if it will cause problems in your relationship. If u don’t think she could handle it, maybe just take a back seat and see how this whole thing plays out). If she’s losing and it’s not fake maybe schedule a doctor’s appointment.
On another note, I feel like neither of those options are the best way to teach him. You shouldn’t beat him every time or let him win every time. You should play him at a difficulty just beyond how good he is until he gets good enough to beat u. Then you play him harder again til he can beat u and continue until he can no longer beat u or he gets better than u and u can no longer beat him.
There’s nothing you can do to stop an 18 year old boy from this. He won’t have the maturity to stop it since he’s at his peak horniness at that age.
I don’t think anyone should ever expect forgiveness. If your ex beat you up and broke your arm 10 years ago, should they forgive them because it was 10 years ago? Nobody is ever owed forgiveness or recognition.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
IN NO WHICH WAY SHAPE OR FORM IS THIS YOUR FAULT
There is NO excuse for what he did
And the fact that you see this as your fault for “sending him over the edge” tells me he has been CONDITIONING you to accept abuse!!! To take responsibility for him abusing you!
He's showing you his true colors. Believe him.
Uuumm I would be delighted if my man had fantasies of them, throw in Salma Hayek and I would be onboard with this ?. Seriously she probably has some of her own about famous people.
Omg I totally did this recently. My husband saved some from when we were dating and I looked through them yesterday like, “? you sexy bish, you had no idea how very hot you were” LOL
You have to really get to the root as to why you’re unreasonably lashing out. This was me in one of my previous relationships with an ex. I was super angry all the time and I hated who I was but I couldn’t figure out why. I would get mad at him for almost no reason and also very often. I started to feel guilt and knew we both deserved better so I eventually broke up with him. I later figured out that I was with him for so long with no future so I started acting out to get out.
You shouldn't be moving in together unless you're married or at least engaged with a firm wedding date in the next six months. Saving rent money is not a good reason.
She is blackmailing him and/or pregnant
Your “boyfriend” is a manipulative psychopath. You need to do whatever it takes to safely get out of this relationship immediately. Many women would have left the minute he brought up filming them sleeping with other men. Almost all the rest would have left when he continued to push it after being told the idea was uncomfortable. He preys on people like you who somehow tie their self-worth into continuing a relationship with him.
You are worth far more than this horrible excuse for a human being can or will ever give you. How can you move forward? Get yourself out of there. Don't announce your plans. Just do it. Also, if he threatens to post videos of you somewhere unless you stay, ignore that. Your safety is more important. If he posts (and he eventually will, regardless of what you do), file a police report.
Nowhere in that comment did they specifically ask for a source that it’s only red states. I’m aware of what the article says. I linked it for a reason.
You're at the age where it's a good idea to reset your friend group.
Paragraphs pls
I don’t think so
I agree with you on all accounts.
If he tries to contact her a second time, OP could have his email address listed as spam with her employer so any further messages can't get through to her any more.
Hey, thank you! We do have a ‘don’t hangout alone with opposite gender’ rule but I don’t really have any guy friends, lol. So it won’t really change much there.
I think it's the lack of appreciation that she supported bil more than anybody else and the comment “be a better fan” is a snide comment as if she wasn't a major support before his friend started supporting.
It's similar to forgetting the people who were there for you at the beginning.
Why are you worried about being non confrontational?
WHY would you consider staying in a relationship that is not what you want.
He told you how he feels, now believe him and move on.
You don't want to jump into anything, yet you've slept with her three times? Be a decent person and have a face to face conversation with her.
I just don't understand how you could involve your family so much into your relationship and bade it on their opinions
It is YOUR relationship, YOUR responsibility. Especially now that you're having a child.
Hooooly shit you sound like the female version of me. I get so fixated on things, usually sports related. I have 5 separate, long, detailed notes on my phone relating to this year’s March Madness. I’m obsessed with dynasty fantasy football leagues, and have separate notes keeping track of each of the dozens of leagues. I keep track of my Madden stats in my notes. I also get fixated on historical time periods (ancient Greece/Peloponnesian War) and book series/show lore (Star Wars, Game of Thrones & The Last of Us especially). I’m also impeccably organized, but certainly not at an OCD level — I definitely don’t have that.
I honestly can’t believe how much I can relate. I’ve never met someone so similar. I also get anxious in hyper crowded situations, hence the avoiding parties, but I can thrive in small group settings for work, school etc. But I just don’t quite click with others past that in that way that others easily can. I don’t believe I come off as weird or even nerdy (physically fit which probably helps), or at least I’ve never been told I do even by brutally honest people, which makes it a bit weirder.
Never realized how freeing it would feel to see there’s someone else out there who’s so similar. Just exciting and cathartic to read!
I think he’s trying to get you to break up with him
As someone who partakes in my own fair share of gaming, I know what it's like to get extremely frustrated and annoyed, I'll occasionally spout off the occasional “wtf”, or “what the f** is this guy doing??!”. That said I firmly believe that whether or not the person at the other end of the game hears you, wishing cancer or death on someone or their family over a video game is downright warped. I don't care how expressive you are, you're unwell, something is off up there, bar none. You've also expressed that due to past trauma, his explosive outbursts are triggering. Your home is supposed to be the safest most and stress-free place place on earth, and he is actively disturbing that ecosystem. So, despite sharing those feelings, rather than recognizing the problem and finding both rational and realistic solutions to address his destructive, rageful tendencies, he instead opts to suggest you get headphones…. What?
Don't allow any forms of normalization of this behavior. No, it's not healthy or “stress relief”, at best he's causing major disruptions at home. At worst, he's shown you what kind of person he becomes when deeply upset, and how he resolves conflicts with a partner, through deflection.