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Sarah Hills, y.o.
Location: California, United States
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Sarah Hills
Date: October 9, 2022
OP can be upset with their husbands reaction. He didn't shut her down and got upset with OP for bringing it up. OP is married to their husband, their husband is supposed to support and have OPs back. It is on the husband for not supporting his spouse and for allowing boundaries to be broken. And while it's disrespectful and creepy of the friend, ultimately OP isn't in a relationship with the friend.
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If you care at all about that relationship you should call her out. No matter what she thinks it's not how you talk to anyone.
Well they broke up because he had a kid with another woman while they were together.
You fucked up and you’re going to lose both the girl and the job. Before throwing yourself a pity party, remember that you hurt your girlfriend in a way that will last for years. She won’t be able to trust people as easily and will be insecure because of you.
The only way you can make this worse is by not telling her. Then you’d be a cheater and a liar. She’ll eventually find out so if you want to do the right thing, tell her.
Go ahead, have the party, and then revisit the relationship afterwards. If (and only if) he’s willing to make very serious changes to how he puts up boundaries with his brother then maybe consider a much smaller civil ceremony later, like in a year time?
Honestly, though, if this is how he approaches your wedding then you’ll have to accept that there’s three people in your marriage and you’re not number one. Do you really want something like that?
I […] convinced myself he was about to ghost me so I unmatched with him and requested I come get my toothbrush back
Maybe he thinks you went off him after sleeping with him? It was your behaviour that went from hard to cold, not his.
His phone updated today and idk if there’s a way to see the previous update log.
You’re overthinking dude
I'm not really sure what you ought to do, but I can tell one thing: you seem to be kind of punishing yourself for thinking and feeling certain things, like your insecurities, your coping mechanisms and your difficulties with being alone. When you feel you have the capacity, try being a little kinder towards yourself.
What I get from this (I might be wrong) is that you're also worried about being a controlling partner. You don't seem to be controlling, because you just describe controlling impulses that you don't act on.
Your feelings are totally okay and normal to have, and I think you deserve love and compassion from yourself even if your feelings sometimes make a part of you want to act in a controlling way.
Don't fight your feelings, try to just sit with them and examine them instead without giving them fuel. Fighting them or desperately trying to distance yourself from them will just give them more fuel.
Feelings are information your brain sends you as a response to certain stimuli, so you can try to observe how your body feels when they arise, like where in the body the fear of him forgetting about you is.
Also, you can go meta and let him know about your insecurities in a way that isn't controlling at all – by also telling him what you feel about your insecurities, and that you'll work really hard on not acting on them. That can feel really good, because you're no longer keeping your real feelings as a secret.
I’d up my game and next time I see them I’d talk about how empty their lives must feel having dead end jobs and awful kids. Must suck to live a life not having any freedom or means to live! a life of luxury. And imagine the debt they’re going to be in around college time!