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Santiyabril, 30 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
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What happens if she wants to date only one of you? What happens if she also wants to date other people? For that matter, what happens if either of you wants to date other people?
Polyamory is usually multiple relationships, not one big relationship, and a situation where all three of you are involved with each other is inherently more complex than dating separately. It's not impossible, but it is harder.
Have you read any nonfiction on polyamory? It might also help to lurk r/polyamory and r/nonmonogamy for a while.
She’s obviously scared and feeling the effects of her actions having consequences.
Growing up is difficult. Having her rose-colored world-view shattered as a result of growing up just up’d her challenge. OP comes across as the run of the mill person who hasn’t ever had to struggle with bad fam. She definitely goofed. And she needs to own it beyond the piss-poor “I’m sorry”.
She needs to re-assure him. Not wait and insist on him re-assuring her. Let’s see if she figures it out and reacts less than selfishly.
You're a champ! Most of the friends of my own ex would have told her to go for it and given her ideas on how to cheat without getting caught.