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Room for live! sex video chat SamanthaDuke
Model from: co
Languages: es
Birth Date: 1993-06-22
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityEbony
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Date: October 23, 2022
And two adults failing to mention it to their friend/husband. You telling me you wouldn't want to know your wife had been railed by your best friend?
Get to family court, establish child support and custody agreement and stop playing her games. Let her know she's only allowed to contact you in regards to your child and any co-parenting needs. No catching up, no shooting the shit nothing but the direct needs of the child. If she wants to bring up drinking have your lawyer bring up drug testing both parents
You should tell your husband what happened and how it made you feel. Cause it is not okay for her to talk about you like that. I’m also a petty Betty and the next time you are over (if you chose to go) you should say “the vegetable would like you to pass the vegetables over please” out her ass so hard, her head spins. Then let her deal with the consequences of her actions.
Arizona
You’re making a huge (unreasonable) assumption here. You jokingly asked if he was married and he told you truthfully that he wasn’t. And now you want to be mad at him because he didn’t read your mind and “know” that when you said married you really meant engaged?
Have you two had a non-joking conversation about previous relationship? This is when that should have come up.
Hopefully you two can get your communication ironed out so that you don’t create problems based on misunderstandings.
Maybe she's lying, maybe not.
Maybe she's lying because she can already tell how judgemental you'll be about her past.
She's allowed to have one, you know? And her “body count” (what a disgusting phrase) is actually none of your business.
Dreams don't have to be reasonable.
If I were you, I would start the divorce process and move back home so you can take care of yourself.
That's a lie! Lmao
I dunno what college art class you took, but that level of drawing class almost always has volunteers to model.
That means you're a spot filler until she finds someone better. That should tell you all you need to know
That's called gaslighting. He literally TOLD you he'd dump you for her in a heartbeat.
Well think about it more universally. Even if you were to leave this particular gf it's quite natural any girlfriend going forward will have similar concerns as your current gf. Hanging out with all girl freinds among which some openly admit to liking you will simply not fly. You need to think about more permanent solution too, not just how you handle this current situation.
It sometimes takes a while to complete a breakup and it sounds like he started dating again too soon and before his last situation was totally completed. But if he won't coax this ex into real treatment with an actual therapist it likely means he intends for this to be the status quo indefinitely. His feelings for her are likely pity more than desire. But yeah, if this bothers you and he isn't working toward separating from her in the near future you'll have to consider this as you decide whether to make this (very new) relationship something serious. Good luck.
Start recording everything. Don't make it obvious. Just on the video recorder and put your phone in your pocket to at least get the audio. You need to talk to a trusted adult about this ASAP.
If you feel comfortable with it post your city and state maybe someone can direct you to an organization or resource for at risk teens. This is a terrifying situation, best of luck please keep this updated
You can do it anonymously. If you're going that route block your ex boyfriend at the same time, if the bridge is burned there's no reasons to keep contact, and this way you won't be impacted as much by the aftermath.
At the end of the day it's up to you, if you want my personnal opinion, I think it's a good idea and I would do it if I was in your shoes, but we're not the same person !
That’s her emotional affair partner. Don’t be her plan B. She wants to test drive her AP and decide.
This was my first thought too!! I can an ex like this as well, and he was so good at doing it subtly. I only noticed years later when I'd lost all sense of myself and what it meant to be happy. I know it sounds traumatic but that's what happens when someone picks at you for years.
You sound unhinged
He’s coming off as a hypocrite then. Maybe he’s been too afraid to tell them his true feelings, or he’s been lying about who he is because he’s simply too lazy to get you something.
Me and my friends don’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas with each other anymore. It’s expensive to give everyone gifts when we have bills to pay, so we stopped gift giving a long time ago.
Our exception is our other halves and children get gifts.
So it seems strange that he chooses to continue to gift give friends but not you. That from the other comment, that he was extremely happy with his gift.
Yeah, he’s lying about not being a gift giver or receiver, he just doesn’t want to gift you.
Chlamydia can be undetected on the first month and you being asymptomatic, but it’s not a dormant illness, I think you people don’t know what is the difference. Besides the chance of transmission to man is around 30% per sexual contact. So unless he is pretty lucky in 5 months having constant unprotected sex… possible? Yes, you have to be lucky don’t getting in 40 or more sexual encounters
Honestly, there are several things I think you need to do here.
Most important, get yourself into therapy. Threatening harm to yourself, feeling like harming yourself and or harming yourself over relationship issues shows there are much deeper rooted issues that you need to address in your life so that you can be healthier and stronger mentally
Get yourself independent of him. Either move or get him off the lease. Separate yourself from him financially.
Rehome the problematic dogs.
This may be hot to hear, but he already has one foot out of the relationship, and his other one isn’t far behind. You aren’t a failure for struggling to take care of something you planned on having together, and having 4 dogs is a ton of work, let alone having one or two to take care of. That’s a huge amount of responsibility and stress. Rehome the problematic pups for your safety and your other pup’s safety. This will significantly lessen stress surrounding pups.
You need to start looking out in your own best interests because he and his parents won’t be. In fact I wouldn’t be shocked if his parents were pushing him to end things with you. Consider having him removed from the lease if possible or getting yourself removed if he refuses to allow himself to be removed. If he is removed, look into getting a roommate or two to help share bill responsibilities.
I know you are struggling with what they call the sunken fallacy costs. Yes, 15 years is a long time with someone, but he is running around like a single man, giving you conflicting messages (ie doesn’t want to be with you/doesn’t love you, but then tells you that he actually does/wants to come home before reverting back). But this, this is just toxic and a mess and you need to focus on you for your own mental sanity. If he really wants a relationship with you, you guys really really need to go to couples counseling.
He is fundamentally different from you. He doesn't want to settle down. He skirts the issue and continues on because he knows he can get away with it with you. You're his first serious relationship at 33? Something seems off other than he doesn't want that kind of life.
Either decide him skirting issues is worth it and not truly settling down, or break up. He won't change. The conversation would be done already if he was serious.
I’m in the exact same situation. What did u do?
Well, this is certainly a reversal of what we normally see here.
Thank you ! You said you met your gf on tinder, how did you two initially get to know each other better? I’m kind of a shy/awkward person and it’s been hard for me to open myself up completely to him
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Actually in the US the divorce rate peaked in the 1980s and Millennials actually have the lowest divorce rate in many years.
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Seeing your edit – Good for you!!
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Is his mom complaining to him? Or is he just being a butt? I mean you online with your parents that's obvious they're going to see the baby more if why didn't he get the baby ready if he was already ready to go? He relied on your parents to do it. He could have done it just as easily. So it sounds like you two are bit younger at least he is still extremely immature and needs to grow up. If his mom wants to come visit and you two don't mind that and your parents don't mind she can come over several times a week and see the baby if she really wanted to. Maybe she's not into babies.
Yeah what the hell do you think we’re doing on this planet? Why do you think guys look for wifey material?
It's your choice what to do with your body, so if you want to get the vesectomy for yourself, tell her you are doing it for you because you don't picture a life for yourself with kids.
The biggest mistake was sleeping with the girl she had express concern about. She might be thinking that you guys had already something going on and that's why you broke it off with her.
So maybe instead of asking his 20 year old for help, Dad can get the child’s parents to come up with a plan together.
Omg no you don’t get it. Not. All. Men. Or. Women. Are. Orbiters. Can it happen? Absolutely. Is it the case literally every single time? No. Because NORMAL PEOPLE don’t want to fuck every person they meet. That is a YOU issue and I suggest talking to a professional on why you can’t separate platonic friendship from sexual feelings
She wants to catch up and if you're up for it. Are you? If you just want to meet her and see how things go then go for it. She's an Ex for a reason so don't forget that.
As soon as I read alpha .. sub whatever BS this is, you're not ready. These are just phrases invented to prey on the emotionally insecure people, alpha etc. Apparently doesn't even exist in wolves, anyways long story short you're not ready.
Dont get married. And grow up
Thank you! I don’t think I’ll ever meet her as their relationship was all online and still is.
Lol roll on the negative comments ??
If you want to feel wanted by your partner and have sex enjoyable for both you that is fine. That's normal and valid need. Your gf might just be incompatible with you and can't provide with intimacy you need. Unfrotunately it means you should end things.
It's not your kink, you don't have to indulge his kink every time you have sex, and he shouldn't expect you to either
It's not your kink, you don't have to indulge his kink every time you have sex, and he shouldn't expect you to either
I feel you on that, breakups suck. But you're right, you've done the work on yourself and that's important. But you gotta be real with yourself, too. If this girl dumped you, she probably had a good reason for it. And honestly, it's not really fair for you to go in expecting her to just give you another chance without some serious groveling. My advice would be to start small, like you said. Don't go all in, trying to lay everything on the line right away. Reach out to her, maybe grab a coffee, and just catch up. Don't bring up the “getting back together” thing until you've had a chance to reconnect and really see if there's still something there. If there is, then you can start to talk about what went wrong and how you've changed. But don't expect her to just forgive and forget. You gotta earn that second chance. But good luck, bro. Hope it works out for you.
Are you sure that he's still your boyfriend,?
It's what everyone is saying. I just wish I didn't creep her out
Consider yourself lucky that you've found out your fiancé is insane BEFORE you got married. I would seriously think about breaking off the marriage and reevaluating your life.
What about a trial separation and she get a job to support herself? Absolutely no concept of money during a period where people are having trouble affording groceries and shelter is mine blowing and infuriating. She can work, she just doesn't want to but how many of us want to work? We work to pay the bills and save for the future. Why do you think people gamble and play the lotto, so they can win money and maybe not have work anymore.
Yeah you aren’t wrong, I mean we used to actually be friends so I didn’t think that ill of it but I do see now how it really wasn’t the best decision. So unsure where to go from here.
Nigga you married a psycho
Bro, you deserve better than this. Contact a lawyer and start taking steps to move on with your life. You deserve to be loved loyally and fully.
Thinking you partner should literally get surgery (breast) if you liked it is so weird to me.
He raped you. That's clear on rape and sexual assault. You clearly said no and he ignored you and overpowered you
Probably send him the ring back and accept that what you did is unforgiveable. Get therapy.
OP! I had a man talk to me that EXACT same way, almost word for word, regarding a cat. 'I only said yes because I thought you'd just do it anyway if I said no, I said yes but I thought you'd be smart enough to realize what a poor decision this is.'
FUCK. THAT.
Why are you letting him talk to you like this? You asked him what he thought and he said yes, you online by yourself and have your own income, this doesn't affect him.
Ditch the boyfriend and enjoy your new kitty. I did and it's the best decision I ever made.
She does have breaks. Youngest is 14, then 17, and 23. I leave at 6-630am and get home at like 8 usually. Not a lot of time to see her and when I am she’s usually reading books on her iPad.
And when I say usually, that means a lot. She read over 300 books last year.
Just letting you know, my partner and I have 2 cats at the moment and will get a third when we have a bigger place. And we’re married!
You would be surprised to find out how many people just skim through the text instead of actually reading it or don't even look at the instructions ever.
It absolutely could be. Please educate yourself on conception – sperm can online for up to about 5 days. So she could have conceived from your encounter, or even one prior to that – that’s just the minimum timeframe.
They always add two weeks to the date of conception when they refer to how far along someone is, but clearblue tests don’t do that so it’s just talking about how long since she conceived, which is over 3 weeks ago.
Like another commenter said, this is a problem for both of you to tackle together. You say it’s the work schedule that’s causing this, then you both talk about that together and see what can be done.
Direct her to the woman's solo traveling support group Girls Love Travel. It's an international woman's based traveling group that has chapters in many countries.
Connect with women who also have a passion for traveling and pick better companions.
The solution is to encourage her to travel, just make smart choices about why and who she is traveling with.
Literally this group is my 2nd family and the founder Haley dedicated her life to women helping women travel.
Signed, a fellow solo female traveller who experiences spontaneous needs for adventure.
Nobody loves someone within 2 weeks.
hmm, It's normal to feel uneasy when a partner engages in behavior that is not transparent, especially when it's behavior that raises suspicion. 🙂
However, it's also important to communicate your feelings with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about why you feel uneasy, what your concerns are, and what you would like to see change.
Best thing is communication, it's not wrong to say your not sexually compatible just make sure to hear what she has to say too, maybe she's been feeling down and that's why she hasn't been as sexual maybe her sex drive just fluctuates, sit down and talk it out, explain your side and she can explain hers, if you feel you love her and want to make it work you, communication is key
Thank you 🙂 This is validating that I'm not out of my f'ing mind lol
No he isn’t on antidepressants, he isn’t currently taking any medications at all and as far as I know he has never suffered from depression (or similar mental illness). It could be that he is masturbating way too much…I know before meeting me he was masturbating a lot (like 10 times per day…which I feel like it’s above average for a man) but I thought he dialed down…maybe I am wrong
Huge personality changes can indicate serious illness. He needs to see a neurologist immediately.
He basically had a full blown affair, can’t you see that? ?
You two weren’t close. You don’t ask.
Trust your gut and go.
Honestly you sound a bit co-dependent and you may want to consider therapy on how you can't seem to function without your partner being attached at the hip
Try practicing what you want to say, for people who are avoidant that can help with confrontation. Try to anticipate some of his reactions and practice answers to those too. You can do this!
Dude I have dozens of tanks and it can be done cheaply and takes hardly any time so I have to wonder what the hell you are doing.
Kids come first. That's just the facts so get over it but I am perplexed why you are making such a huge deal out of getting this set up and running. Why do you need a whole room for it?
Something is screwy here dude.
But complains and verbally abused her. Just like his momma
Your panic over being a virgin is more damaging than your virginity. I think you see that now.
If you can get her off with your hands you are already better than a lot of young men. Her number of partners probably includes really bad or selfish ones it's shocking how awful sone guys, even romantically successful ones are. It's a bit if a lazy sex top but get her off with your hands and/or mouth before penetration. She will have had a good time regardless and it will get her going for the rest of the act. That said you might be super turned on as a result and not last long. But oh well it's not like your hands go limp post nut.
Next up you don't love her chill out. You have built this up to be a big deal in your head but you still barely know her.
You were abused, albeit mentally.
Set a boundary as to which you will not go over, your mental health, your respect and all the things you give out to others and wish upon yourself. Let those boundaries be known and that you will not go over them. Your “girlfriend” is abusive mentally because she is not in a right place.
Again, her mental health is not your responsibility, you can only help out as much as you can.
Is the Pope Catholic?
No. Both parties have to be sufficiently invested in the relationship and the idea of counseling for it to work. All individual counseling can do for you is to help you cope with what you see as problematic in the relationship (which might be enough if you're willing to let some of these concerns go).
Only thing I can suggest is, don’t wait for him. Once that door closes, you know the next several hours are shot. Find something else to do. Go see a movie, go see a different friend, go to a bar, whatever. And no, don’t put it on a timer so you can drop back in just in time for when you estimate he’ll be done.
I suspect it won’t take very long for you to start asking yourself why you even bother with him, at which point, you’ll know what to do.
if you get weird and don't like it, end it. why is this so difficult? why are you asking reddit?
He usually says he doesn’t know who’s who & prefers me to have none of them I give him free use of my phone in general as I’m super open, I have no issue with him scrolling on my socials etc. just an issue with removing people or basically changing anything on them as they’re not his socials if that makes sense. I have nothing to hide & he has huge insecurities which I’m aware of but when I’ve done nothing it bothers me he gets like that.
Most of the time women don't orgasms from sex itself, so don't feel bad or anything. Most women orgasm from foreplay since that trigger, so to speak, it outside the vagina
I’m sorry maybe I was not clear enough in my post. We spilt all bills last month. However This current month we are in, I paid full rent and I am asking him to pay our utility bills for it to be fair.
I understand what you’re saying and agree: If he paid all bills and rent last month, I would be expected to pay all bills and rent this month. However, that is not the case.
Leave. Once you're out it will be easier to deal with him. You can contact him by email or message him, which will give you a record of conversations if you need them. You have to figure out if either of you can buy the other out, or if it will have to be sold.
Every time you say you want to leave; he manages to get you to stay. Whatever he is doing, it works. He will continue to keep doing what works to keep you with him. You have to make up your mind to leave.
Once you get out, then worry about the house. You will be able to think more clearly once you are away from him. Keep any communication by text or email. He won't be able to manipulate you as easily over text.
For starters, I wouldn’t ask. But I’m not insecure and I don’t try to trap my partner with dumb questions.
Definitely need an update on this post
And it was all before he knew you.
Seriously. Grow up and stop being such a judgey prude.
Take hubby with you – problem solved
Both of you needing closure should forgive yourself and understand the past is the past. Needing the other is not necessary to gain closure. They know what they did and that they are working on it. This can also be an attempt to get closer through trauma bonding. Be aware of advances and feelings that you experience if you choose to go.
Ask him to look up retroactive jealousy and start working on it. It’s NOT okay for him to keep bringing this up during arguments, it’s a completely invalid thing to hold over your head given it happened long before you were together. It is his responsibility to work through this without projecting it onto you. Let him know that you will not be putting up with him taking out his insecurities on you.
OP:
Shoe prints on your back are not a good look.
Wipe them off and move on.
I’m strong in myself…I can be happy with that… self respect ?
He sounds awful. Run. Hugs!
Then you give him space, that's love. You wanting to comfort him is wanting to make everything okay with you when it's not. That's you wanting to absolve your guilt. That's not love, that's self interest. He needs space. He needs to be respected and heard by you. He needs to also communicate. Did you know they were racist? He should have told you that if not, but everything else here is on you and a savior complex you need to work out on therapy.
Yep, he majorly sucks – almost certainly irrecoverably so – and who the hell would want him after what he's done anyway. So …
Lawyer up, keep your head high – it's he who royally and intentionally screwed things up, majorly lied about it, and tried to put the blame on you.
And well save all relevant evidence … may or may not make all that much difference – depends most notably on jurisdiction – check with your lawyer – but generally can't hurt to have well collected such evidence … at least to the extent one legally can. And yeah, don't bring another kid into this – certainly with you on that.
And, well, better you found out sooner, rather than later. That way you can get out of and clear of the mess that is him that much sooner. Good luck! Sure, will take a while … but he'll be more and more out of your life – and already well started on that. Waste no more of your time/life on him than necessary.
Why do you think he wouldn’t sext her now? Even a year or more from now.
October of 2021 and we got back together in May of 2022
That's a long break.
Honestly, it depends on the context of how it was shared. Women are typically more open with discussing their relationship with close friends – in all aspects – and it's not just to gossip. It's to gain advice and to talk to others about x,y, or z to get some outside perspective from people we trust.
And it's good for you and other men to know that. Because if it is an issue for you it's a good conversation to have with your partner. And you absolutely have a right to want your sexual intimacy with your partner to be private.
It may not be a big deal to most people, and it doesn't seem like she views it as one since she did mention it to you, but that doesn't matter. If it's a big deal to you then you need to let her know and she needs to respect that.
Throw him away
She is trash for sleeping with a married man and you kind of dodge a bullet. But you sticking around and being her “friend” in hopes of her coming around and catching feelings for you is also bad. Not as bad as the cheating but bad nonetheless. And unfortunately, that is all the comments are going to focus on. If you are romantically interested in a girl but she doesn't feel the same then you need to move on.
Don't stick around and be her friend in the hope she will come around. You will be disappointed when she starts talking to you about the guys she's dating/hooking up with. It's not good for your mental health and self-esteem. And to answer your question yes and not for how you reacted and you should definitely try NOT to fix this relationship. That shit is dead and gone.
Why can’t she meet her friends at their places if they are bigger?
You shouldn’t have to leave your own place.
My husband used to do that. I kept a can of Lysol by the bed. He said that was mean. We figured out it only happens when he eats spaghetti, which is one of his favorites. Now he eats it a couple of times a year instead of a couple of times a week. Talk to her about it nicely.
Very immature response from your GF there. Pay attention how she bahaves around money and financial differences
I am not sure I would classify Sami as poly, though? I think of poly as having a primary partner, one or more secondary partners, and having ongoing romantic/intimate relationships with all of them. In this case, though, the romantic/intimate relationship between Sami and Tom is over and she has just agreed not to divorce him quite yet out of kindness (even though he doesn't really deserve that kindness in my view) so that he will continue to have financial support and healthcare while he finishes his recovery from the accident. So it's more like Tom has told Sami it's fine for her to seek other companionship while they are waiting out the period until they can actually divorce.
Sami doesn't have any interest in having the multiple partners that would make up a true poly lifestyle.
Didn't Jamie Foxx and Yeezy have something to say about girls like this?
I would think it falls around your thought process. She wanted to support family, maybe got busy/distracted and cuts back. She then gets (mildly) gets dunked on about it. She didn't have to listen in the first place, she went out her way, so why isn't that enough?
Another way to see it: you do something nice to help someone, but their response back to you was “hey can you try harder?”, Instead of “thanks for being there for me”.
It is a very mild statement, so I feel like maybe there is more said in passing? Like has he been dropping comments like this in his interactions with her? Like this could be a spark from a build up we don't know about?
Me and my 5 brothers are all in our 20s and 30s. Every single time we all come home for the holidays there’s at least one wrestling match. I imagine your position would be similar to if one of my brothers were gay, and their partner had to watch said wrestling. I don’t know what they would feel, but I imagine they would feel something. There are so many unique people out there. So many different families. You gotta have an open mind to that. I think you should put a little work into why you’re this uncomfortable, more than just because it’s not like how you were raised
This! No amount of petty retaliation will motivate him to make meaningful change. It only serves to increase hostility between the two of you.
Get counseling to figure out why you are so codependent and willing to accept bad behavior from your partner that goes against your core principles. This is the problem that needs to be solved.
No one on reddit can give you “silver bullet” advice that will change your BFs behavior. You can only change your own amd how you allow others to treat you.
Please, OP….leave this ungrateful man before you waste decades like I did with a selfish and self serving person.
Don't let him throw you crumbs. Let him go and find whatever it is he thinks is better. Just don't take him back when he returns.
Imagine that because they can believe this stuff, they can believe nearly anything
This exactly was my train of thought that lead to me breaking up with her
Thats what I want to tell her “why did you even want a relationship, knowing that you're like this?” But that would just lead to the “maybe we should break up” conversation.. but nahh I don't want that. We're good together. She just has her insecure moments
Imagine that because they can believe this stuff, they can believe nearly anything
This exactly was my train of thought that lead to me breaking up with her
The only way to stop overthinking this is to start living your own life.
Return the favor to her and block her on everything, Get in the world and start living your best life. You will find the right one for you when your ready
I can never have a discussion about her stomping boundaries without him getting argumentative and defensive. I'm just tired of existing like this.
been a very shitty friend to them ever since I got into this relationship
Ofcourse. You're spending a bunch of time with a shitty, creepy guy.
But you have time to fix it. Your early 20's is about exploring yourself as a person. Take this as a life lesson about creepy older men looking for younger woman and move on with the lesson learned.
Thank you and I agree with therapy really. I think I will dig in more before making a decision and see what the situation really was. Grill her a bit over it and decide.
How did they destroy your trust?
My goodness this sorta feels like the tip of the iceberg.
You need to move on and prove you are a stable independent person. Even then there is still no guarantee she will even want to get back with you.
he said I think that I’m better than him and a lot of other people but I’m really that. I never given him the idea that I’m better than others but he has.
Let me offer you this: Any time someone accuses of someone else of this, it's because they suffer from self esteem and self worth issues, and feel like they don't stack up to, well, everyone else. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do. Instead of admitting or acknowledging they suffer from self esteem issues, they do what everyone does, and try to blame other people for their issues, try to make it seem like it's the other person fault.
Just remember that next time someone accuses you of thinking, “you're better than they are.”
I’ve been with my partner 8 yrs & I’ve never met his barber, I couldn’t care less. He’s met my hairdresser but that’s because she was my best friend first! It’s giving insecure & clingy vibes.
I would hope that my wife would be honest with me if she was 100% sure she did not want kids, but I can't deny that it seems that way based on how our conversations have ended most of the time. The next conversation we have must end with a firm yes/no.
She's at the last of her fertile years and got another 8+ year birth control device inserted. I think you already know the answer.
Why do you need dating apps because you are gay? 41 and 19 is basically the same age gap as many parents and child. How old are your parents?
Save yourself the next 3 – 5 years of increasingly poor behavior, disappointment, and regret, just go ahead and separate now. The sooner you do it, the less of your life you'll have wasted being stuck with this dude. Trust me. My only real regret in life is the extra years I spent hoping things would get better and the half hearted piecemeal attempts at normalcy I accepted.
No. Why?
So true.That made me start singing 'The Offspring.'
You're a free meal and a joke to her and her friends.
Sorry, this sounds like a total mess. Neither of you trusts the other, you're not happy with how she texts with other men, and you don't like being blamed for doing something she asked you to do. She's also dealing with a horrible traumatic experience on top of all of this.
By the way, I suspect that she has a ton of conflicting feelings about her “friend” and what he did to her, and she's dumping some of those negative feelings onto you because she doesn't know how to handle them. You would be completely justified in telling her, the next time she brings up how you “ruined her friendship,” that you are not cool with being blamed for doing exactly what she wanted, and that she either needs to drop it or tell you what she wants you to do about it. You're here to support her in dealing with this experience, but bringing up the texts she told you to send over and over again simply to berate you does nothing except to make you feel bad.
Your post also mentions boundaries but here's the thing: boundaries are for you. If her boundary is that you don't talk to other women, then you can decide whether to honor it or not, and it's up to her to determine whether she is okay with that. So if you think it's wrong of her to control whom you talk to, then tell her that you're going to continue being friends with other women, and leave the ball in her court. She can choose to break up with you or not.
As for her behavior, you are absolutely free to decide that you don't want to date someone who asks stuff of you but doesn't reciprocate. I think this will all feel a lot clearer in your mind if you start living your life according to your principles, rather than doing things you disagree with just to keep the peace.
Sure buddy
I’d say wife needs to visit her gynaecologist, could be sign of vaginismus or something
The possibility of them having a platonic sleepover is about as realistic as the Easter Bunny. You snooped because you felt something was off. If it gets to a point where you need to snoop to get clarity, then why even worry about going further with the relationship?
This terrible advice, and he obviously doesn’t love her.
absolutely my pleasure– I'm glad it made you chuckle. good luck!
I mean..I get it. I think as a fantasy it's about giving up control. Key word being GIVING. In real life something precious is being taken in the most hurtful way. It's simply not the same.
It is interesting though, the way that people's minds work!
About the same here. Left someone who clearly didn't respect my time and effort. I would arrive to her place and she would be an hour to 2 hours from being ready. Always late and always behind. I could never make any reservations that would be meaningful and it was just super stressful all the time.
To me it just seemed super petty and super immature thing to do.
Why are you terrified of being alone?
Ask him to post this question to /r/adoption
Let them do your dirty work and they'll burst his bubble real quick. i'm not even joking.
You kind of shut yourself in the foot here. There’s nowhere this doesn’t lead but somewhere uncomfortable.
stop spamming this identical topic
So… you've physically abused this person, SAed them and blamed it on dissociation (I'm sorry, that's a poor excuse for ignoring a safeword and continuing to ignore that your partner wanted things to stop — please remember that some of your audience here experiences severe dissociation as well), AND y'all have kids? This is extremely disturbing. Your husband shouldn't be focused on getting laid again, he should be taking the kids and running as far as he can. I feel so bad for them growing up in this environment. If he doesn't care enough about himself or your children to end it, I'd suggest you end the relationship as an act of mercy instead.
Your mom is full of shit.
Pretty sure this is rage bait.
I haaate when I see posts on here with that sentiment – I remember seeing one where a girl said that similar to OP, her boyfriend had gotten with another girl right before they became exclusive and he said something along the lines of “it was only after I got a blowjob from another girl that I realised how much I liked you” … like.. come on.
But as most other people are saying, OP doesn’t really have any grounds to be angry because they weren’t exclusive, but his reaction is understandable
At 22 she may not be experienced with dating or with having male friends. And right now, you're the surest source of male attention for her.
So reading over this, my gut tells me that she's not really interested in you, but that she still enjoys your company and maybe isn't aware she may be sending mixed signals.
But it's also possible she does like you, and has been trying to avoid making it seem obvious by telling you stuff like “my future BF needs to have some Russian origin”. You never know.
You could try dialing up the flirting with her a little bit and see if she reciprocates — treat her as a potential date until you get a clear pushback (ex: She keeps turning down 1-on-1 opportunities that feel like dates, or she keeps talking about a guy she likes).
You seem to be pretty aware of typical “friend zone” signals, so you'll probably detect when those signals get stronger in response to flirting.
Alternatively you could go direct and just ask about her feelings — but more often than not, that kind of direct pressure causes a pushback.
You aren’t in love with her. You leave. You don’t stay just because you have been together for years. Too many couples keep going because of inertia and it’s a recipe for divorce.
Because he tried multiple times to communicate it with her already amd she is changing the discussion. Also the partie that has the problem by not having sex should communicate the problem. It is not the other persons responsibility to guess and to guess right! She is not communicating at all, she changes the subject and she is also playing with him. When she is horny she wants staff but then she plays with him a little and it doesn't go further than that!!!. Communication is the key and it should not be always from the side of the man but from the women also.
After overlooking our relationship and asking the questions…my relationship with my girlfriend is great. There's been nothing wrong left unresolved, no red flags that I know of or even feel. I'm not tired of our relationship, there are things that she does that I love, she's very interesting to me and I find her extremely attractive. I love my girlfriend.
After overlooking our relationship and asking the questions…my relationship with my girlfriend is great. There's been nothing wrong left unresolved, no red flags that I know of or even feel. I'm not tired of our relationship, there are things that she does that I love, she's very interesting to me and I find her extremely attractive. I love my girlfriend.
Do you think you should have to push and force the idea on someone? Do you like when people do that to you?
Do you hear the words coming out of his mouth that he’s not ready? Sounds like he’s told you over and over, so no you don’t have a right to be upset that he bought you a cheap ring and you jumped to conclusions that you shouldn’t have.
Trying to force him into a commitment he doesn’t want is going to drive him away. Best case you can try to show gratitude for the gift, apologize for your behavior and have a calm and rational discussion about your future together.
I don’t want her to hurt herself
So you'd rather she hurt you?
She is not your responsibility
Leave this abusive relationship OP
Everything that would make my image the worst in front of her
She really isn't good at all. This is not her finest moment. She destroyed OP's relationship with his BF. That's kinda evil. And, she resents the best friend for her pushing herself on him? WTH. She was on the beach with OP. Then, she left OP to have those 15 secs of bump. Then she came back immediately to OP. It IS eeewy.
Omfg ya he def at least took pics
Thank you! We are good at sorting through our issues so you are right, I need to be honest about how I feel and talk it through with him.
I do think it's odd it's socially acceptable for your boyfriend to go pay for women to sexually arouse him but If I went on a girls night out and danced with a guy even slightly flirtatiously it would be condemned outright.
I've no interest in doing that ofcourse but the hypocrisy isn't lost on me.
Because he is the love of my life and I feel like this one problem shouldn't split us up then we was never a strong couple? it's just me personally I find it embarrassing to tell him I don't wanna make him feel embarrassed other than that he is a perfect boyfriend
You can’t really set boundaries with people you’re casually dating, it’s a take it or leave it situation.
I agree, a man/woman in a committed relationship shouldn’t be getting calls at 1am. But until then he’s free to do whatever
Lately there have been times when I can’t take it anymore and I want to leave the relationship, yet he will not let me go.
It’s confusing to have someone not want to have a serious relationship, yet I cannot try to distance myself because they will not let me go.
What does this even mean? You want his permission to leave? Is he your boyfriend or your father?
I don't the issue is her job, sports, or schedule.. She's making time for things that she proritizes. She's been stringing you along for years.
This is major foreshadowing.
I'm no gynecologist, but I do know a cunt when I see one.
Many people consider their pets family. So if a member of his family is fighting for their life that's going to be most peoples priority. Beyond that I think you're overthinking things. A text to check in and let him know you care is perfectly acceptable.
No, we have a biological son and daughter together. She does not come for a culture where it is important although her family is religious.
I do not believe that is what it is, but I appreciate you taking the time to comment and give advice. Thank you.
You rejected him. He owes you nothing. Your taste in men clearly isn’t your best friends. There is nothing for you to say or do besides tell them good luck. Try that.
OP, your gf was raped. Drunk people cannot legally give consent and people who are “blacked out” obviously cannot give consent. Do not listen to the misogynistic commenters telling you she cheated and you should dump her. She did not cheat. She was raped by a rapist when she was in an extremely vulnerable and defenseless situation. She needs your support right now. She also needs to get medical care if she hasn’t already, and to follow through on the police report.
You both need some counseling.
Most of all, you need learn how to stop blaming her for any part of it, even if only in your head. It isn’t her fault that another man chose to do that to her. Direct blame and anger where it belongs.
You are not a therapist and jesus christ, you are 40 years old and still under the assumption that you can “fix” someone?
Dump him and get completely 100% clean before your parents are planning your funeral.
Why can't you go to his place? Is he married? But you're just calling an affair FWB
I thought pretty similarly about my ex before we broke up and then I found out she had cheated on every single guy she ever dated and her life goal was to be a stay at home mom that smokes pot all day and “fucks guys”.
He's probably watching CP or at least very earnestly looking for it. He's a predator in training and yeah you should leave him, and probably report his fetish because it absolutely could escalate and someone could get hurt – a child could get hurt.