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sakuralee Public Chat Channel
Date: October 3, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
sakuralee Public Chat Channel
Hello /u/Ballerina_Bear_,
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Well to be fair. If one person works 40 hours a week and one person works 0 hours a week that person can at least do all the housework. How much work is it actually? Maybe an hour per day and then you can get everything spotless… You say you want to “lower her burden” by doing your part of the housework but what burden is that she is having right now?
Also if one parter looses their job they should OFFER to do all the housework alone until they get a new one. If there were kids to raise it would be another thing and a lot more work but without kids I think one person working full time is a LOT and I mean really a LOT more work then doing the household alone.
Then you tell her that you will still be doing her part even though she is unemployed and she feels the need to spin that around on you, demanding that you do even more?
My honest advice is to sit her down and tell her clearly that you expect her to do all the housework until she has a new job and then you can split it again and that this is not open for discussion. If she tries to spin this around at you I would really and honestly break up. Seriously I would get a bit of lazyness and that she is a bit down right now but what she does is ungreatful and disrespectful and she is extorting you right now.
Yes, not wanting a commitment is precisely so you can keep your options open. This isn't some dirty secret or plot against you. It's just how most people operate until they're absolutely convinced they're already with someone who they could see as a forever life partner. So she doesn't yet see you as “the one”, which is pretty normal at only eight months into a dating arrangement. It takes years to get to know someone well enough to decide they're the last partner you'll ever have. But that doesn't mean you need to just wait around for her if you don't find that reasonable. If you're ready to nail things down at eight months but she's not you and she just may not be a great match. Good luck
That doesn’t really matter. Its only five years and at that age she’s a legal adult. It’s not gross like a 20-30 year age gap.
If I’m not mistaken she didn’t enjoy it. She was just curious
OK your relationship is one of your primary relationships in your life so pick somebody you’re attracted to. If you like anime looking girls picked up, but whatever it is that you like pick it. Because the beginning of the relationship is the honeymoon the first couple of years, and if you don’t feel like you’re falling for her, then it will never grow into any significant relationship.
With this girl, I would break up with her and just let her go live your life and you go on
Male here…
It’s something you can fix and no, I’m not talking getting work done or nothing. Insecurities are tough and we all have em in one area or another. It’s been 10 months. If you like/love him and would like the relationship to continue then You shouldn’t have to explain yourself. But if you feel that you’d rather, just sit him down and say “hey listen…” then open up to him. If everything is fine on his end, rip the bandaid off, sort of speak. Right then and there and take a deep breath. It could be liberating.
If he’s not ok with it then maybe you should leave him.
Love doesn’t see stretch marks and love doesn’t see flaws.
Majority of men and majority of women don’t look like Hollywood actors or models or pornstars. You and I have flaws. When my wife and I first met we both had our embarrassing things about us but as I said, we ripped the band aid off and here we are, still in love. 14 years together, 5 years of marriage.
I hope things work out the way that you want them. We are all beautiful in our owns ways and whomever thinks otherwise can find somebody else.
He is 50, she is 23. A 50 year old man should not be romantically interested in a woman who was born when he himself was 27.
Speaking of naïve, you have an idealized sense of what is in the heart of middle-aged men. In their hearts and loins they're always 18 years old. While 99.9% have the good sense to never act on it like this creep, I guarantee that they still notice hot young ladies.
Certain behaviors need to be dealbreakers. Doesn't matter if it's just 1%, if they appear, bail – and emotional abuse, belittling and cruelity absolutely are examples. That's HIS behaviors.
I'm gonna be blunt: this is a classical abusive relationship in the infant-phase. Right now you are in the love-bombing phase, but he is already belittling and insulting you just a bit, to lower your expectations and normalize those absolutely unacceptable behaviors.
That 1% is who he is, the rest is him acting in a way that will keep you hooked. The longer you are together, the more those percentages will change. He will get more offensive more often, the love-bombing will still b there, but less. If you don't leave early, you will just end up galsighted, completely emotionally ruined, and in an abusive relationship for maybe even years, which will completely nuke your self-esteem and mental health. It will make leaving SO much harder even when the love bombing is just 1% and the abuse is 99%.
He was sleeping with others too, yes.