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sage, 19 y.o.
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Date: November 28, 2022
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So what? If someone's doing something wrong, and you know about it, you're obligated to do something about it.
If he was committing fraud, you wouldn't be able to just shrug your shoulders and say, “well, I didn't commit fraud” and walk away unscathed. You'd be charged with accessory for not reporting him. Associating with scum, makes you scum as well.
You need to not only compassion for others, but some self-preservation. I mean, if he lied to you about his relationship, what else is he lying about? I don't understand this laissez-faire attitude you have about letting a manipulator around you when that's something that could backfire on you so easily.
In this situation, you keep your door open and your mouth shut.
You can’t stop him from distancing himself. But you can make sure that he knows you will always welcome him if he ever decides to change that. You do this with the way you treat him – if you’re judgemental towards him at all, it doesn’t matter if you say he’s always welcome – your actions will drown out any words of welcome you might say.
Your parents may want to rethink some of their plans – the gift giving, the planned inheritance of the business, etc. Your place is to privately express concern to your parents that they may be investing too deeply in a one way relationship. You can raise the topic to your parents once, then forget it unless they bring it up again.
RUN.
seriously, run. I remember being 23 and went on a date with a 19 year old, and felt like a total skeeze afterward. No way somebody that is 32 has any right to be going after somebody that doesn't even know what they want to do with their life yet.
Even IF it works out at first and everybody is happy, you'll eventually get set up and have new life goals based on your wants and needs, and they probably won't align with somebody that is essentially immature enough to rob the cradle virtually. He clearly doesn't have his shit wired tight yet, and I don't think you'll be happy with him after you move out there.
I remember two friends from a game group that had a budding romance through the message board. When she went out to see him, he was such a gropey cad that it turned her off.
This whole thing just screams bad news to me.
One day I am everything the next I am nothing but a vending machine for her like everything was my fault
My dad was 23 and my mom was 17 when I was born; he was arrested and convicted of pedophilia when I was 15. The signs were always there, we just didn’t realize them.
If you were blackout drunk and she was sober?
That's rape.
She would have realized you were drunk–even if she didn't realize how drunk. She was sober enough to not have sex since you were drunk, especially if she would have known you would not have had sex with her sober. She chose to ignore the obvious signs and go for it.
Unless you'd have fucked her sober?
Did you seriously just type “we engaged in premarital hand holding”?!?
I have no advice for you. I think this whole concept of virginity and waiting until marriage is unhealthy and dangerous, so nothing in my opinions will be a help to you.
Depends on where you want this relationship to go what are your priorities? Long term goals? Is he worth it to stay, and make a life with? Everyone is getting older at this age, no garentees how health will work out. Or is sex your top priority and you want that more then love, empathy, validation, feeling like you have something good, ect. Will accomidations such as toys, snuggling and lots of effection be able to get you through because you on-line him too and want to validate him as well making him feel like he's enough? Lots of decisions here.