16 thoughts on “Saaramiiller live! sex chats for YOU!”
Validation! Tell him how good he makes you feel, what he's doing that you like. Instruct him to keep going at his current pace, or do xyz that hits the spot. Things like “Just like that baby” or “You feel so fucking good”. I'm not saying to overdo it like a shitty porno, but let the man know that you're enjoying what he's doing and want more.
He doesn't get to decide what hurts you. If he doesn't own his behavior, you are better off without a person like him in your life. You should not be confused. You should be angry with him for using you and tossing you aside to try and get in your friend's pants. Be done with both of them and walk away. You will find better friends.
He does something you find weird that affected literally nothing in your day, and you hop onto Reddit hoping strangers mention he's on the spectrum or something, and even mentioned in another comment youre concerned for 'it being a problem down the line'
Just kind of sounds like nothing happened, and you're hoping it's a sign of a bigger problem for some reason
You can’t even be depressed like this, I mean it happens but it’s really pathetic to not try to seek help.
Exactly!
Like, seeing the toll that her decision of not seeking help has on OP is one thing since he can divorce her and is an adult so his relationship to her won´t shape every single future relationship like it happens with children. I mean where is she thinking about what´s best for them? There's people giving up on having kids in the first place because of their mental health or fear of family history of mental health coming up later. I admire this so much more than people having kids and not even half-assing that reponsibility.
Every time this exact situation comes up here It seems to backfire… Using an open relationship to fulfill one person's needs is selfish. Making somebody feel like they are lacking in fulfilling JUST YOUR needs that you are now requesting to receive it from other people in order to save the relationship is never a great place to start with an open relationship. Open relationships are not for one party to be able to go sleep with whomever they want because their significant other can't fulfill that part of the relationship. It's for people who truly need or want as a couple to open their relationship together. Whether both participate or not is different. However, how would you feel if it was actually you that was a crux of this problem for her and was the problem and she ended up stepping outside the relationship that was now open as well? I feel like in most of these situations, the person asking didn't even ever think of this option because all they're thinking about is themselves. You're looking for a short-term solution to a long-term relationship ending problem. No relationship is going to be perfect, but trying to force it through outside forces when you are not sexually compatible and that's a deal breaker 99% of the times ends in the destruction of the relationship from what I've seen. There is absolutely nothing wrong with open relationships that are done correctly… I just feel like this new age version of it skews what it's actually meant to be and then people are shocked when it doesn't work to their advantage and destroys their relationship.
I kept similar from my spouse bc I didn’t want him to worry until it was time to worry. I just didn’t see the point of both of us speculating and being terrified.
However, I was NOT turning to anyone else (like my family) to air what was going on. He wasn’t talking to these people to make plans for his kids. He didn’t need to settle his estate before the biopsy results came in.
So, I totally understand him not telling you. Fear is a big thing. But I don’t understand why he’s unwilling to talk about it now or why he was willing to talk to other people.
I don’t think, though, that this renders every other part of your relationship hollow and meaningless.
PS – My spouse was annoyed with me when he found out I went through the whole thing alone & made me promise to be more transparent in the future. I doubt that I will be though. I’d really rather suffer the fear that lives in the space of not knowing alone. I still don’t want to do that to him.
Wait wait wait… so he wanted the kind of open relationship that was only open on his end? He wasn’t ok with you being with other men? Is that what you’re saying? If so, I would RUN.
I am terrified for you, because of what it means for your current situation but also what your soon to be ex is willing to do to try to get with your neighbor, and also possibly try to seek revenge in the future.
I think there is one possible scenario where you confront your husband about his lies in a way that your neighbor can overhear (and potentially call the police if things get violent). But this sounds like a situation that might eventually require a restraining order, among other things.
It would be very helpful if you could get some kind of solid evidence against him, but I'm sure he will also be paranoid about being caught by either of you.
Validation! Tell him how good he makes you feel, what he's doing that you like. Instruct him to keep going at his current pace, or do xyz that hits the spot. Things like “Just like that baby” or “You feel so fucking good”. I'm not saying to overdo it like a shitty porno, but let the man know that you're enjoying what he's doing and want more.
Well……its not rocket science, guy.
You get the relationship you work for.
The initial excitement and novelty of the “honeymoon period” just
lasts so long…usually about a year.
When that period is over the real work begins. If that work
is ignored and purpose for the Bond is not forth-coming, the
partners lose interest and move on.
And….yes…..there is a whole lexicon of terms to characterize
the puts-and-takes regarding this dynamic, but the simple
truth is:
“You get the relationship you work for”. FWIW.
He doesn't get to decide what hurts you. If he doesn't own his behavior, you are better off without a person like him in your life. You should not be confused. You should be angry with him for using you and tossing you aside to try and get in your friend's pants. Be done with both of them and walk away. You will find better friends.
Thank you very much ?truly!!
Block him on all media/communications.
Take a break from dating.
When you start dating again, find someone more compatible.
Isn't that illegal and you can actually report him for it?
I would confront him about it, keep the thing in case you can use it against him, and then dump him.
There is no reason for him to track you at all
Nothing here reads like you're being supportive
He does something you find weird that affected literally nothing in your day, and you hop onto Reddit hoping strangers mention he's on the spectrum or something, and even mentioned in another comment youre concerned for 'it being a problem down the line'
Just kind of sounds like nothing happened, and you're hoping it's a sign of a bigger problem for some reason
You might it sound like he sabotaged himself to get fired, which seems really wierd
Maybe they don’t need them
You can’t even be depressed like this, I mean it happens but it’s really pathetic to not try to seek help.
Exactly!
Like, seeing the toll that her decision of not seeking help has on OP is one thing since he can divorce her and is an adult so his relationship to her won´t shape every single future relationship like it happens with children. I mean where is she thinking about what´s best for them? There's people giving up on having kids in the first place because of their mental health or fear of family history of mental health coming up later. I admire this so much more than people having kids and not even half-assing that reponsibility.
I agree with every single point you made.
Every time this exact situation comes up here It seems to backfire… Using an open relationship to fulfill one person's needs is selfish. Making somebody feel like they are lacking in fulfilling JUST YOUR needs that you are now requesting to receive it from other people in order to save the relationship is never a great place to start with an open relationship. Open relationships are not for one party to be able to go sleep with whomever they want because their significant other can't fulfill that part of the relationship. It's for people who truly need or want as a couple to open their relationship together. Whether both participate or not is different. However, how would you feel if it was actually you that was a crux of this problem for her and was the problem and she ended up stepping outside the relationship that was now open as well? I feel like in most of these situations, the person asking didn't even ever think of this option because all they're thinking about is themselves. You're looking for a short-term solution to a long-term relationship ending problem. No relationship is going to be perfect, but trying to force it through outside forces when you are not sexually compatible and that's a deal breaker 99% of the times ends in the destruction of the relationship from what I've seen. There is absolutely nothing wrong with open relationships that are done correctly… I just feel like this new age version of it skews what it's actually meant to be and then people are shocked when it doesn't work to their advantage and destroys their relationship.
I kept similar from my spouse bc I didn’t want him to worry until it was time to worry. I just didn’t see the point of both of us speculating and being terrified.
However, I was NOT turning to anyone else (like my family) to air what was going on. He wasn’t talking to these people to make plans for his kids. He didn’t need to settle his estate before the biopsy results came in.
So, I totally understand him not telling you. Fear is a big thing. But I don’t understand why he’s unwilling to talk about it now or why he was willing to talk to other people.
I don’t think, though, that this renders every other part of your relationship hollow and meaningless.
PS – My spouse was annoyed with me when he found out I went through the whole thing alone & made me promise to be more transparent in the future. I doubt that I will be though. I’d really rather suffer the fear that lives in the space of not knowing alone. I still don’t want to do that to him.
You can get a DNA test without your wife knowing
I'm sorry. Happy birthday BTW.
Wait wait wait… so he wanted the kind of open relationship that was only open on his end? He wasn’t ok with you being with other men? Is that what you’re saying? If so, I would RUN.
I am terrified for you, because of what it means for your current situation but also what your soon to be ex is willing to do to try to get with your neighbor, and also possibly try to seek revenge in the future.
I think there is one possible scenario where you confront your husband about his lies in a way that your neighbor can overhear (and potentially call the police if things get violent). But this sounds like a situation that might eventually require a restraining order, among other things.
It would be very helpful if you could get some kind of solid evidence against him, but I'm sure he will also be paranoid about being caught by either of you.