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Ruben-Anny, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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The thing is, in rare occasions, when people actively want to change, do a lot of personal effort to change, and a lot of acknowledgement of what they did wrong and a lot of reparative actions, some people do change.
But for people to truly change, they absolutely need to acknowledge that what they did was wrong, understand why it was wrong, and have a plan in action (not in words, in real, tangible actions) to never do again what they were doing. Your boyfriend hid from you his violent past. If he was truly sorry, he would have told you, he would have explain all the work he did to change himself, he would accept consequences for his past actions, including the possibility that you didn't believe that he changed and left him… but the fact that he didn't tell you, is a clear indicator that he did not, in fact, change, it only means that he got better at hiding his violent self and that it will emerge at some point. Often abusers wait until they feel you're trapped in the relationship, to show their violence.
Why don't I see anyone mentioning the difference in age? The other way around it gets mentioned immediately.
Weird.