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Robin Redhead, 25 y.o.
Location: England, United Kingdom
Room subject: Take off pants for the first time [0 tokens remaining]
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Date: December 11, 2022
You need to tell him. He deserves to know he has a child, at least give him the opportunity to decide what he wants to do.
I definitely think going to a counselor before making a final decision is a great idea! They can help you each better understand the other person’s perspective. Sometimes compromises can be found, and other times, people part ways. But at least you’ll both have tried to professionally work through things.
You both deserve to be truly and utterly happy in your romantic relationships. It’s possible that even though you love each other, you’re just not fully compatible. And that happens. It sucks, but it does happen.
What a kind thoughtful rapist
This isn’t about the chores. It’s three years of helplessness with little to no improvement. We obviously don’t know what happened 3 years ago, but it seems like you have developed learned helplessness and haven’t really attempted to improve yourself. Sure, in the beginning, he was able to help and assist with your situation. But you’ve had three years to attend therapy, get help, and try to improve yourself. It seems like you’ve done none of that or barely tried.
Three years of your husband having to be your caretaker (and basically parent) has finally put him over the edge. I don’t want to be harsh, but from what little you have written, you have done nothing to try to improve yourself or get better. You’ve learned to be helpless and rely 100% on your husband. At a certain point, it becomes weaponized incompetence and you’re purposely not trying because you have a gravy train going on. Well, the time is up and you’ve been called out. If you want any chance to save this, you’d better get your ass in therapy and start putting in the effort to change.
Kind of want to see this post on instagram to see if she real deal or some trailer trash
It's her money not yours! She can do whatever she wants to with it!!
I hope this article is coming from a AI, or else I can't imagine someone would be this arrogant.
For the last 3ish years is been about you your recovery your needs you you you you you. And even now you talk about you. He asked you to do chores something he's been doing on top of everything he's done for you including bathing you. He bent over backwards for you and the one thing he asked of you you did half assed you showed him you don't care about him. Then shocked Pikachu face that he's done and can't take it anymore. I can't say i blame him.
No, I just think a reality is that people get drunk and I don’t believe that’s a moral failing. People get assaulted and I don’t believe that’s the moral failing of the victim.
It is impossible to put enough rules on yourself to bring the risk of getting hurt down to zero. If someone got robbed when they were walking home drunk, I wouldn’t blame that victim even though he was likely a target walking home inebriated. The person who was robbed would go through a lot of trauma. I certainly wouldn’t break up with them over it.
Then you will find it normal if he didn’t put money or financial help to his step child??
Marriage is not about attraction. It’s about commitment.
When you are chatting, and hanging out, ask her if she wants to grab a coffee or lunch. It's less intimidating than asking specifically for a date, and if she says no it's less awkward to just keep hanging out.
You'll never find out until you ask.
I think a teammate is quite different than a coworker.
Why would you accept a partner like this in your life? Sorry but have some self respect here, it’s very clear she does not see you as an equal and a partner worth respecting.
The problem is that what Greta is asking for you are things you ask for from a significant other, not a friend. You don't ask a friend for expensive gifts or to send you foo via UberEats, and it's unusual to share location with someone who isn't your partner. And then when your girlfriend is understandably upset and puts a boundary Greta criticizes her …and you agree and don't back your girlfriend up?
You are either incredibly dense or just want to date Great instead.
I am so happy for you
Definitely call their bluff, that’s what I did as a (21F), they tried to tell me I couldn’t sleep round my (20M) house, didn’t approve of his job etc. but I did it anyway then as a (24F) behind their backs I brought a flat then 2 weeks before told them my plans. It was still difficult when I moved, my mother would call saying he was trying to take me away from them. Which wasn’t true. I go no contact majority of year, only visit on birthdays and Christmas. They have for now accepted it. I have plans in next 12 months to move 3 hours away, currently 20 minutes away and that will drive them crazy but I’m now (32F) – it gets better but I feel there will always be challenges
Well by the looks of it you’re going to be waiting for what you want.
The exact number is irrelevant really. You planned the fiodyou bought based on a set number per person. He stuffed himself stupid with no consideration to anyone else to the point you had to order MORE. That is not normal.
I don’t think you sound controlling at all. You sound very worried about her health and very worried about how to confront her with her diet/eating issues. And you are right to be. She sounds unhealthy. I would sit her down and tell her you love her but you are concerned for her health. She lives with her parents. What do they say about her weight ?
This just sounds like masturbation with extra steps
There are two options here.
Either she took advantage of him while he was drunk, in which case that's rape.
Or he decided to cheat and is making up excuses to you.
Considering your narrative, I think the second option is more likely. His narrative is jumbled and full of lies.
I believe you should move on from this relationship. Even if you love him and the relationship, the resentment will only grow.
It may be simplistic, but have you read “The Broken Mirror’ by Katherine Phillips? That may help you understand body dysmorphia better. However, it is not your responsibility to ‘fix’ or ‘treat’ your girlfriend’s mental health and whilst as a partner it is good to be supportive, she is responsible for managing her own mental health. By outsourcing this onto you, she is avoiding seeking treatment and finding good coping strategies to reduce her symptoms.
Cripes. She sounds incredibly entitled and you have been ridiculously self-sacrificing.
It sounds like she decided, “I want to pursue this extremely expensive lifestyle, but I can't pay for it or do the physical labor, so you should do it,” and you just agreed. And she keeps asking for more, more, more.
Like, is she aware that most of the world doesn't just get to declare what they want and have it handed to them? Does she literally think that's how it works for everyone, or does she just think that she's very special so that's how it should work for her?
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What about you??
Do YOU feel like you need to date?
Are you actually missing intimacy, or are you just missing her?
Maybe a much slower start to dating would be better. Even if it's just making more female friends and seeing where it goes
lemme fix it up tho i got u
Yes, your husband married you under false pretenses (he was still pining for her). But if he had not learned to truly love and deeply love you over the last 10 years, you would have lost him already. He has stuck by you for the last year when he could easily have left to be with her. People change and love can grow. I know it hurts, but try to think of what you built.
On one hand you are a piece of human garbage. On the other hand she has already known that. She should have divorced or hell, never marry you in the first place. She shouldn never agree to be a housewife where her husband spends 12 hours in work. She has made every single wrong decision possible. Honestly if she ever finds herself someone half decent she will probably leave you (as she should). The only reason she is still with you at this point of her life, is because she has no place to go and she has chosen the life of housewife so she lacks ability to handle her life independently. If she had a loving family this farce would have ended eons ago.
I don't give a shit you like your job you working with your coworker you have cheated with is a constant insult to your wife.
The dm said that we kissed once and then the other time I apparently tried to kiss her and I fell and she hit her head in a building
Are you asking for advice or just venting?
Just leave the relationship dude.
You’re young, and ultimately 8 months isn’t a long time. If there are specific things he does that you feel are social faux pas, have a conversation with him about it and see if things improve. Otherwise, you may want to cut your losses and move on. You’ll meet other people who you feel comfortable around both in private and in public, which is important for a relationship.
then you are all good in this relationship If she is reading this i hope she reads everything and realizes what she did and what you did are two very different things and in a situation where you were deceitful she better be careful because you will always turn it around on her.
No, they married because of a mistake and created a disaster. Everyone deserves to get what they want/need out of marriage, one person doesn’t get to set the tone. If they had taken the time to get to know each other they would have figured out that they’re not compatible. Their child deserves to grow up with two happy parents, not two miserable people who are not modeling a healthy, loving relationship. Time to end this mess.
Let this girl go, she is a piece of shit for putting that kind of label on you, as you are being a saint of a brother for doing this. Im sorry your EX girlfriend is an Idiot. Move on and find a loving understanding women.
Plenty of people aren’t in healthy relationships and still have sex with their partner, OP included. Humans gonna mate, bro.
OP is her son (I think?)
I have a different opinion on this. I think she has the right to know these things even though it's obvious why the ex wife kept everything even with the prenup but the man has to be honest with her.. they seriously about to get married lol. It is weird why OPs current partner is taking care of the EX more than the fiance which is a red flag from OP's POV. Sure he can do whatever he wants with his money just like he can do whatever he wants with his body with anyone else.
Bro talk to your mom idek Why you asked you gf to stop. Tell her this ain’t it
I'm calling bs.
You are telling us that you go to clubs that usually are 65% men. And are usually filled with aggressive dudes that want sex. And literally no one is approaching you?
There is something you aren't telling us. If there is one truth in this universe. It's thirsty dudes are going to be thirsty.
Well no you don't need to be grateful, if you told her no she needs to start hearing no.
She sounds like she just wants to do the best she can for the baby but also part of it seems like she wants to force her ways.
If you allow that behaviour or pretend to be grateful/sorry for something she does that you didn't want then you are accepting she can be that way.
The crying just sounds like manipulation and a way to avoid conflict rather than her actually being sad.
Tell her how you want things to be with your baby and if she can't accept that then she can't be around the baby. It's your baby and you ultimately have the final decision of how it's raised.
Please divorce him so your daughters don’t consider this to be behavior they should accept in their own lives.
I mean she just have you the evidence you need to break the pre nup more than likely. Don’t say anything to her and get to a lawyer asap.
Even though I said it was going to be my treat initially, my expenditures ended up being really high this month, and I realize that this dinner has just become out of my budget.
Ok, so you promised something to her and then didn't plan correctly and mismanaged your budget. Then you decided that the romantic dinner was the one expense you wanted to skimp out on. Of course she's going to feel a little upset by that.
Discuss the balance of eating out / spending money on one another that you both feel is appropriate moving forward, after this blows over. But yeah, future reference – don't promise a romantic gesture to your partner and then not follow through last minute, it's going to upset pretty much anyone.
It's completely fine if he's not attracted to the look, but it's another thing to treat you badly because of it.
She’s not your problem. She is an adult who made her choices in this life, many of which took place before you were even born. I know it’s horrific to actually think about her suffering, afraid, homeless, but she programmed you to believe you are responsible for her and her emotional health.
You are not.
Do not set yourself on fire to keep her warm. She would not do the same for you. Do not give her more than you can afford to lose. Don’t shoulder the responsibility of her life choices. Do you know why you are not supposed to jump into water to save a drowning man?
Because he will drag you under with him and you will both die.
Do you know why you put the mask on yourself first and then help the kids when the cabin loses air pressure? Because you can’t help anybody when you are oxygen deprived and dying.
Your mother is an adult who chose not to wear her life vest. She chose not to listen to the flight attendant instructions. Do not think that you are obligated to drown with her or that you are a bad daughter if you don’t give her your mask.
One day you are going to realize the only real solution to this problem is to go no contact with her because one day you will realize that love is not a two way street for her and she will take everything she can from you and will offer you nothing in return— not even gratitude
Kinda on the fence here. I know that her behavior can be annoying and frustrating to you BUT if you claim to be her best friend, you have to be there for her! To me it seems like severe lack of self worth, confidence and self respect on her side to throw herself on every guy who gives her some kind of attention. I know someone who also used to behave this way (lets call her GF) and she told me that she used to have sex with guys in her past as soon as possible to make their dates most satisfying so they would fall in love with her. She also has issues with not standing up for herself properly and general lack of confidence (in contrast to her obvious beauty and intelligence). Your BF might have some kind of issues in that regard. If she would just fool around for fun?! Great! No questions asked but if she regrets it and gets hurt everytime that could show that she isn't well at all on that matter and so needs you to be there for her.
Your life isn't over once you have a kid, you know that, right?
Oh good. I was reading your comments like she should just put up and shut up. If he's being a dick now he will only get worse.
You mention that she has the right medicine for the thyroid problem but it isn't working for her energy level. That means that it either isn't the right medicine or not the right dose, because that is the whole point of the medicine. It is so she can have a normal life.
Bruh. Arguing over semantics is EXACTLY the thing that is going on regarding abuse. Evaluate how you interact with others.
Bruh. Arguing over semantics is EXACTLY the thing that is going on regarding abuse. Evaluate how you interact with others.
I know is not easy, but because she is your friend you have to tell her.
Maybe that is the push she need to see that her relationship is going to cost her friends and family
Also if you're 26 and over and want to get vaccinated you're shit out of luck. If you're a man nobody cares even earlier. I asked my doctor about the vaccine and I COULD get it but on my own dime (insurance doesn't care) and it costs between 1000 and 2000$.
My sister thinks I should stay with my fiancé.
Not all the time but yes it is bothersome. I have always been like that. In age 6, they got my ear checked. In some topics I have hyper attention, in some none at all. I hope we can find happiness like that
Oh my fuck there’s a lot to unpack here and I’m not going to touch most of it. As a straight man who’s apparently the minority in your view, I very much appreciate my wife and her vagina.. and I certainly don’t sexualize or fetishize anyone with a penis regardless of gender. You are not being gaslighted. Is this a troll?
He says no man is out there getting his girl off for 15 minutes before sex
Mine does. He understands that I need some warming up and that I don't get off from penetration alone (like a LOT of women).
If he's rigid in his position tell him he doesn't need BJ's anymore, as the penetration should be sufficient for him.
Yes, which in turn is for cervical cancer…