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ririroxanne chat
Date: October 23, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
ririroxanne chat
I would looks into seeing if anyone local is looking for a roommate maybe ask your coworkers see if they know. Or you can put up with it a little bit save some money and look into properly finding a roommate and get everything ready then you can opt out of your lease with her after a month or so idk both a good options one just isn’t the best regarding the whole relationship issue
I did a few days ago, but he said that he is liking our relationship as it is and that he is scared that I am catching feelings..
Not sure how to ask him again after that.. :')
No. If all that it takes for your bf to mistrust you is a vague text that doesn’t refer to you, he never trusted you
so that’s also a pretty typical trait for people who enter into a sexuality. sometimes people are hyper sexual because they don’t understand why they don’t want to have sex. what it really comes down to, you just need to ask. no one can tell you why, and truly that’s what you need to figure out before you can make an informed decision.
We’ve been together for 2 years now. Time line for marriage is summer of next year and kids right after marriage.
than when she’s given even more years of her life to you and she has got older when she co
I do love my current gf and I know she would never break up with me. I have been a great bf to her and do so many nice things for her, she always tells me how lucky she is to have me and I just know she would never break up with me.
This ⬆️
WTF. Wow man. Are you ready to give your life to someone who is ok with lying to your face, pretending to be committed, hiding the truth for so long? Don’t marry her man. Slowly start distancing yourself and put the house on the market. This will eat you up. DO NOT MARRY HER
Oh that is true. I didn’t even think about that. Oldest child is 6 and they’ve been together for 7 years. Wow.
I would say u can't change the past so if this happened before she met u then I don't really see it as a problem but I would want to know that this “game” is over and I'm not a part of it for sure. I feel it is more or less ur insecurities cuz I mean u don't know enough of the story to make the jump in conclusion of she slept with the dudes for their hoodies or even dated them. She could've bought them or something and lied to try to win in this “game” she was playing. U both are still so young so there's time to grow and move on from situations, if this hoodie collection is a deal breaker for u then walk away cuz ur feelings are important and ur allowed to have standards. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but if u stick around make sure to talk to her and communicate more of why u feel uncomfortable about it and if it is ur insecurities just be honest about how it makes u feel like ur hoodie is less special to give to her. At the end of the day ur the only one who can make urself get past it emotionally and she can help by getting rid of them cuz I'm sure she has other jackets and hoodies that are not men's clothing. Compromise and communication is the best advice I can give or walk away. Good luck friend.
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And she’s a rape victim. Fits right into the person specification of the kind of disgusting creep that always takes advantage of a young woman and her trauma. It’s always the same.
OP, get the fuck out. Get therapy asap.
Nah, she’s gotta play the long game. If it’s just them in the elevator press level 10 and let rip.
I playfight with my gf, but it's important to have rules and boundaries. Striking and choking are off limits for us because they can be dangerous and aren't fun.
I'd also strongly recommend a safe word. A word that can be said to completely end the situation. That means that when someone feels unsafe they can say so unambiguously.
Yes, it wasn’t a well thought out piece of advice I gave to you. To expand, I’ve found that no matter how much I talk and he listens, my husband doesn’t “get it”, but when I mirror his behaviour (not in a spiteful way but in a way to communicate sincerely), he more often gets it.
I get having money problems and needing help from your SO that’s reasonable ,but asking for money because your SO has a different job with less expenses?
If they lived apart,she would still had those expenses.
That’s a knit picking that doesn’t seem right.I don’t even understand how a person thinks like that.
He broke up with you and still reaches out? Honey, he’s getting the benefits of a relationship without being in an actual relationship. The reason for breaking up matters but I know you still have feelings for him. My advice would be to move on, distract yourself by going out with friends and doing things you love, and just on-line life. Dont wait for him to do anything and keep going, life keeps moving.
Fair, that’s definitely not “not flirtatious”. It honestly sounds like you all should just break up. Why are you even in this relationship?
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“Personally” I am aware of what the fiancé said.
I think it’s important to have a talk and set some clear boundaries. If you haven’t been in employment for the whole two years that you have been in a relationship, then I doubt his problem is differing values or life goals and things like that. When he moved in, was this your idea or his? Do you think that maybe he didn’t expect to pay 50/50? In what way does he think you having a job will make it easier on him? He will still have to work, you will just have more money. I do think this is possibly jealousy on his part. You have more free time and he has to work to pay his share. I do understand that to be fair, but it’s not your fault you were given the financial means you have. You shouldn’t have to feel bad for it either. If his problem is that he’s struggling financially then it can be really difficult, but again he needs to communicate this with you. He’s living rent free, you expect him to contribute financially and he should, and it’s not his place for him to tell you whether you should be working or not. You’re not relying on his money. However, I do think that if you plan to marry, have kids etc then you do need to discuss finances and what this means for the future. There’s possibly the chance as well that should you have less financial stability in the future, he may worry he will have to carry the load.
You are 39. Why can’t he just come to your place? Would your husband mad?
You aren't the only one. Understanding what boundaries are would help more.
Boundaries steer process, and process, well processes. Processes can't work without enough of the right things in the right sequence. It's like a song. You need enough of the right sounds in the right amounts in a specific order to make a good song. Process is just the name we give a sequence that makes a result as a whole. A song is a great example of how boundaries on each end of the extremes of too much or not enough, like we see in good music, use limits to make something in the goldilocks zone between them.
Process uses restraint to make something of higher quality. Boundaries correspond to quality, systems theory shows us that, and the work of Salvador Minuchin shows us how to understand systems theory in the context of couples and family.
So that said, you're asking about gifts but you are really asking about clearer boundaries on access to the resource of “high quality reassurance”.
That's a tough resource to seek out with CPTSD, because from my own experience with helping a loved one with it, the intrusive thoughts are feisty and a bit like a tsunami. But every bit helps and like Minuchin says, clear boundaries are way more helpful in relationships most of the time.
The problem is people think of boundaries as just our personal limits, rather than the limits for a process. When you understand what they are, the restraint that creates process to enhance quality that fuels a relationship, it's easier to improve things.
Now, I’m extremely worried that me thinking she was cis this whole time might have been offensive.
Girl, if even thinking/assuming is offensive now, your life is going to be hot. Sometimes we make assumptions based on our own experiences in life. Usually they work out, sometimes they don't and you adjust your mindset.
If you like her for who she is, then who cares. Most likely she learned to tell this right at the beginning, to avoid future drama.
while my ex was pregnant she started talking to another man. She told me and she left. I knew my wife since the 6th grade. We started dating. We waited until my son was born. Than we got married.
Good?
Follow a bunch of accounts with your interests specifically, and stay at it for at least a few minutes a day for a week. That should do it!
Sorry to say but you’re just no longer compatible. You can love him but also admit he is not your physical match.
This is a good point. Insecurity is offputting, regardless of the cause.
I’m saying he was a lot more responsive and engaged in conversation prior.
Ow fuck you, every is about what you want. Your desire for another woman, your desire to keep the affair a secret, your desire to have another baby, your desire to be complete again with your wife whom you cheated on. You didn't care about your wife's feelings, why should your feelings matter?
Yup, there's a whooole lot of context missing.
What were the occasions that you gifted these things? What happened days/hours before, after? What have these relationships been like (in terms of dynamic for example)? What exactly makes you want to give gifts, what result are you trying to achieve? How did your partners react?
Honestly, I think guys are pretty honest about it and you probably know him well enough to understand how he might react.
I would probably just ask him if he's interested in it. But tbh, you have to know if he's gonna get emotions too if you are NOT interested in having that connection with him. Also know that it might effect your relationships in the future. You might bring in a new boyfriend in the future who may not approve of your past history with your friend, etc..
Way out your pros and cons and see if it's worth pursuing.
From now on only date a woman outside this group.
Take up a new hobby or volunteer at the local hospital. Find new friends.
You might want to check your advisors and see how many of them are old and alone. You are too young to give up on men
In my experience, “if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you”
Do you know what an analogy is?
Why do you feel the need to have a conversation with someone whom you already know to have acted badly in the past? You know this person has insulted someone you love. You know that other people you like, and whose judgement you presumably trust, don't think highly of him. What would you possibly gain by speaking at any length with this guy? What do you hope to achieve from the interaction?
There's nothing rude about not having a conversation with someone. You don't owe anyone interaction of any kind–you aren't obligated to be friendly, especially if you know they have a habit of mistreating people. You're not obligated to talk to someone just because they want to talk to you.
Doesn’t matter if he’s not quite hit you yet, he backs you into a corner, he stops you escaping when he’s berating you – that’s physical. The threat of physical violence is very clearly there, what if you pushed too far when he’s angry? He physically kicks you out of your home and what would he do it you were able to get back in?? What does your son see of this? A great role model? Will you have two men in your life treating you like shit in years to come?
What he’s also doing is serious verbal abuse, constant shouting, belittling, questioning and not letting you literally sit in peace. This isn’t ok either. Nothing you’ve written about his behaviour is ok. You may not know any different, but emotional abuse isn’t ok to put up with either. He’s 33, he isn’t going to change now. Please take care.
Agree with all of this, also, I can easily imagine giving a numb, checked-out “go for it” with the obvious unspoken understanding that it would be near sociopathic to even consider still wanting to go for it after seeing how much the idea devastated OP!
Your grown you don’t need their permission
She’s basically asking if her feelings of concern are valid and called for in a roundabout, more neurotypical/indirect way