Although I understand what u/Cabbage_Patch_Itch is saying that you need to do the dishes i was in a similar situation, and it seems like me, your time is limited, so in this case, the basic advice of, just do the dishes sir, doesn't work. You need a counselor.
I was working about 50 hours a week and wife was studying for her master's plus she had a part time job. I didn't have as many tasks as you do, but on top of what i had to do, sometimes i had to clean, do dishes. Problem was, I didn't have enough time to do it, but my wife insisted I did it as she thought it wasn't fair she did all of it. My problem was, again, my work hours. Sometimes I was on call for work and an issue would take hours not minutes to resolve. As much as i wanted to do the dishes and my schedule looked free, I didn't have the power over the calls that came in. It was either dishes or telling the boss, sorry sir, i can't solve the on call issue b/c i got to do dishes.
Resolution? Went to counseling and counselor help the wife understand that physically speaking, i could do the dishes, but realistically speaking, the situation was not black and white and she needed to be understanding. Wife understood that as much as i wanted to help, i simply couldn't.
My advice to you, go to counseling, let her pick the counselor as long as is not a friend of hers. We had a female counselor, and she was very neutral.
My question is—how long will you put up with this bullshit? Him saying you cooking for him is a gesture of love has to be the most pathetic excuse I’ve heard yet. My love, come on, now.
She’s the one who is being selfish with her expectations. If she wants to date someone who can be at her beck and call then I guess she should date someone who doesn’t take care of themselves and prioritize their own health and future over a date night. ?♀️
I agree. I thought it was weird that she added him first, but I really didn’t think too much of it. I only started overthinking when she lied to me about adding him first. I don’t even see the point to lie about something like that
To be fair, cheating is looked down on in our society. You cheat on your partner? Easy alimony case, support case, or child custody case.
She can be concerned, but there's a difference between being concerned and outright telling someone their trauma is fake because everyone else experienced it and didn't have the same reaction. Do you tell people who are afraid to drive that their trauma be it via accident, a scare, or whatever is invalid?
He tried to rape you, and then complained to you in the morning that he wasn't successful. Breaking up is the ONLY FUCKING ANSWER.
Although I understand what u/Cabbage_Patch_Itch is saying that you need to do the dishes i was in a similar situation, and it seems like me, your time is limited, so in this case, the basic advice of, just do the dishes sir, doesn't work. You need a counselor.
I was working about 50 hours a week and wife was studying for her master's plus she had a part time job. I didn't have as many tasks as you do, but on top of what i had to do, sometimes i had to clean, do dishes. Problem was, I didn't have enough time to do it, but my wife insisted I did it as she thought it wasn't fair she did all of it. My problem was, again, my work hours. Sometimes I was on call for work and an issue would take hours not minutes to resolve. As much as i wanted to do the dishes and my schedule looked free, I didn't have the power over the calls that came in. It was either dishes or telling the boss, sorry sir, i can't solve the on call issue b/c i got to do dishes.
Resolution? Went to counseling and counselor help the wife understand that physically speaking, i could do the dishes, but realistically speaking, the situation was not black and white and she needed to be understanding. Wife understood that as much as i wanted to help, i simply couldn't.
My advice to you, go to counseling, let her pick the counselor as long as is not a friend of hers. We had a female counselor, and she was very neutral.
I agree and I appreciate your comment. It’s just hot to process through.
Yeah, and if I was your husband I’d dump you by the wayside since having a non controlling and non condescending wife is also a personal preference.
Thank you
My question is—how long will you put up with this bullshit? Him saying you cooking for him is a gesture of love has to be the most pathetic excuse I’ve heard yet. My love, come on, now.
She’s the one who is being selfish with her expectations. If she wants to date someone who can be at her beck and call then I guess she should date someone who doesn’t take care of themselves and prioritize their own health and future over a date night. ?♀️
I agree. I thought it was weird that she added him first, but I really didn’t think too much of it. I only started overthinking when she lied to me about adding him first. I don’t even see the point to lie about something like that
This ain’t on you
She was unhappy before, she is still unhappy, she’s making that choice for herself. She’s a big girl, she can make her own choices
Maybe you helped her see how unhappy she really is. If you aren’t serious about her you should probably step back
Well, articulated my problem perfectly and solved it all in one comment. Thank you for your help!
To be fair, cheating is looked down on in our society. You cheat on your partner? Easy alimony case, support case, or child custody case.
She can be concerned, but there's a difference between being concerned and outright telling someone their trauma is fake because everyone else experienced it and didn't have the same reaction. Do you tell people who are afraid to drive that their trauma be it via accident, a scare, or whatever is invalid?
It’s Reddit hombre people be like “that’s a sign they are an emotional abuser and probably violent, better lawyer up” to almost anything lol
Second this.