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first day make me happy [88 tokens remaining]
Date: November 24, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
first day make me happy [88 tokens remaining]
She's got to take accountability for saying yes when she didn't want to. She can't hold him responsible for her never wanting it in the first place if she said yes.
She wants monogamy, he doesn't. Looking back when I've been in this situation, I've found that I felt most upset and betrayed by myself for not honoring how I truly felt and losing myself. At least if I had said no, and the relationship still ended, at least it was on my terms.
Kind of. There is familiarity and intimacy you’ve shared with her, which means you’ll be very comfortable with her and your gf might feel like the odd one out.
As soon as doubts are expressed, it’s unwise to go through with it the way it was planned originally. Check in if this is something your gf actually still wants. Sometimes the fantasy is more exciting than reality. Reiterate that the relationship is more important to you than a threesome and that you’d be more than fine not to do it.
If she still wants to have one, choose a person together that you haven’t been with and that isn’t close to your friend circle or life. It ideally should be someone you can cut contact with any time you feel like it and won’t run into all the time.
Ok, so wanting the princess dynamic doesn’t automatically make her a bad person. But the way she’s asking you for it is wrong. To me it sounds you don’t have open, or healthy communication dynamic with each other. And she finds it easier / less scary to tell you things over text than in person.
From what you’ve written, it seems like she’s been overthinking a mountain of scenarios alone (etc working herself up to think you’re cheating, which could be directly related to her feeling like you’re not making the same effort with her anymore). And the way you’ve made this sound is that this is the first time she’s addressing these issues. Has she brought up these concerns to you before, or tried to? And if so, have you tried to fix anything (seriously)?
Because it sounds like you’re also very conscious that you’re not making the same effort as you did at the start of your relationship. Now that’s entirely your choice and you don’t have to. But you also have to realise that if you made a lot of effort at the start, this is what she expected in the future when agreeing to continue the relationship with you. So you should never sell unreal expectations if you know they won’t / can’t continue (etc lots of fancy dates / paying for everything). Otherwise it could build resentment with your partner in the future when you “suddenly” stop because you’ve won them over.
The moral of the story, not paying for her nails is not why she’s asking to break up with you. It’s a superficial and silly reason that was perhaps the final “tipping point”. But overall she’s trying to tell you that there’s deeper reasons (a huge emotional disconnect due to built resentment). But is unable to communicate this in a healthy way and is instead coming across as childish. You need to really think of you want to make this work and make an effort to understand each other on deeper levels, or if fighting to stay is too much effort. Good luck and make the choice based on what you feel inside 🙂
this is good advice, thank you so much. it’s been almost a year since this happened believe it or not and I’m still devastated.
I drowned my sorrows in substances, which halted the healing process, maybe now it’s time to truly face the heartbreak and hopefully move past it.
thank you again
Body count combined with their history show their actions and their character. You can pretend history doesn’t matter. That’s your risk.
You haven’t explained any positive reason beyond your own desire to not be with someone inexperienced.
That’s not a good reason.
It’s fine. Don’t believe me.
I said it before. Life will gladly teach you. You won’t know until it’s too late. ?♂️
Well this is where I finish repeating myself.
Have a nice night.
By now you can accept he most likely won’t make it, do you have the number of his friend or anyway of contacting them? To check he’s ok. Not sure if you bf drinks alcohol but do you think he went out after football or got a bit cheery with old booze and is hungover at his friend’s house? Anything could be the reason I do get you’re annoyed but try to enjoy Christmas with your family and all you can do is contact his friend or just wait until this evening or Boxing Day and maybe go to your bf’s house if he lives near you to see if he’s ok. If it’s out of character it is very odd.
If you want to get fancy with it, I could agree that her has to work should come out of the “pre-split income”. Meaning, if her income is $1000 a month, and she spends $100 on gas, then her contribution to the shared fund is based on $900 of income.
The logic works the same way that your use of extra heat, electricity, internet, and a dedicated workspace in your home are being covered by your shared budget, right? You’re not contributing to cover those extra expenses?
So, I shouldn’t be worried too much, right? Is it okay if I talk to her about the pics and express that I feel really strange about that?
No. Splitting 50/50 in situations where one person has significantly more assets or income is exploitation.
Yes, i think their house is nice and neat. Our house is pretty basic due tot renovations(our house is warm and Cosy, but feels a bit messy). She is always annoyed at the mess at our place and starts cleaning immediately. She is a very neat person. This causes some friction in our relationship as well, because she is always going on about this and how we need to clean up after ourselves. Which we do all the time but then we start working in the house again new mess arises. I feel like things are never good enough for her. And i reckonize that fault in myself. Towards my partner i can be very high demanding, so i understand why she acts like this.
I feel like he’s self accusing himself.. and then if it actually happens, he’ll say you pushed him to it, or that you didn’t believe him anyway.
I just find it funny how he assumes that maybe Julia will also want to hook up with him…
Question. Is she married to someone who acts like she describes? Was she? I think her past dating or married life holds the key to your response.
6 years ? Yeah it's fine.
Are you guys just black and white? There's a middle ground between always initiating and never initiating, called sometimes initiating.
Maybe they should take a go at it ? U step back and tell them to try. Better now than later when they ask to open up the relationship to bring her in or he cheats etc. U will have your answer
You don’t. Your sister can be friends with whoever she wants and it’s none of your business. From your post history it sounds like you don’t even line your ‘best friend’. You’re just being controlling, petty and jealous.
Why do you care so much about something that doesn’t impact you?
You'd be surprised by how common happy ending places are, and how they appear perfectly legitimate on the outside. Tons of redditors describe going to such places, and people in real life too. It's not gonna be on their fucking website, obviously.
Keep your eyes open. He may stop for a time and then come back at it. Don't let it go another time. I'mr trying to picture myself talking to my religious friends this way and i feel ashamed of his behaviour.
Please know, even as atheists and such, not everyone is as disrespectful of other's beliefs and boundaries as he is!
Good point thanks
He said:
…it confirms that she was not at the location claimed by google maps. [AND], Even the steps and movements at her work match almost exactly a normal workday for her.
I think he's saying that the activity tracker has GPS that says the activity tracker was at her work. AND in addition to that her activity levels look inline with a normal day. The GPS being the more important fact.
Fair. The mental turmoil I’ve been through with my parents has me second guessing all things, so it’s nice to get some unbiased reassurance.
I personally would not buy the house with him unless you were married.
I suggest talking to him about this..
“As our 7th anniversary approaches, I am wondering about our future. Do you see our relationship heading toward marriage? If so, what time frame?”
Because for some men, if they won't marry you then you are just a placeholder until they meet someone they do want to marry.
If he “doesn't beleive”in marriage…does he believe in legal documents like wills and health power of attorney etc?
Also if you decide to buy a place then see a lawyer about how things work if you break up.
Absolutely do not put money into the house unless 1) Your name is on title/deed and he is investing a comparable amount… I read some tory about a woman who would do the down payment and then the guy was supposed to pay the mortgage…except the didn't.
She wants to be by herself then.. It is important to her to have everything under control. If she doesn't she can't cope well with that at all.. It does sound like she has some problems with herself, I tried to ask her about it, but she always says she doesn't like the feeling, but its not severe enough to do therapy or talk to someone about it.
Talk to some key members of her family. Sibling or a parent. Suggest that you are concerned, stressing her relationship with your kid.
Make them understand you are extremely uncomfortable but unsure how to deal with this.
Ask her family if they have noticed her changing, and particularly her raging behaviour.
Even if they are not able to explain or help, you have documented your concern.
First, understand the ring is going to be worn by her forever (we hope). Imagine is she's all, “yes, yes!! I'll marry you! oh. That's a nice ring, I guess.” (Notice the lack of energy about the ring?) Find out what she wants and expects in the ring. My wife wanted a marquis cut, but few women do. Know what she wants. One “slick” way is to take her shopping, then swing by a jewelry store (which you have entered earlier that day or the day before). Ask her to browse while looking at a chain or watch for a friend's celebration. A second salesperson keeps her busy for a few minutes looking at rings. After a few minutes, you come back and tell your gf they had an issue with a clasp and will take a few minutes. Ask her to go get drinks/ice cream etc while you wait. She leaves, you ask what she liked. You buy it.
(Wow, that's a runaround.) Maybe your gf is a more direct person and you can straight up ask her what makes a nice ring in her opinion.
As to the proposal: there are several ways. First is big and witnessed. Have a supper at a restaurant for a fake celebration… your dad has a major announcement, he may be retiring early… get as many if her family and yours there, then propose. Only do this if you KNOW she will say yes Second is a romantic or significant location… first met, first date, favorite vista… but this is private, unless you set up a camera beforehand. Third is the destination proposal. You take her someplace over an hour away that has stunning beauty and propose there. Fourth is just asking her wherever, whenever… this is only for low-key easy going couples.
Tell him it's OK he has a old sausage. Wrong move by him
It's a principal and it applies for the start of a relationship when they started dating two years ago this was a no go by that math
It's a principal and it applies for the start of a relationship when they started dating two years ago this was a no go by that math