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Birth Date: 1988-03-16
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Date: December 19, 2022
No, I entertained it, we just don’t agree. I’m sure you think of yourself as impartial but you definitely don’t come across that way enough to be pointing the finger at anyone else. I arrived at my conclusion because OP is currently fence sitting and seems reluctant to accept that he needs to tell her he doesn’t want kids. You don’t agree and that’s fine – we’re not going to get the whole picture anyway. It just kind of makes the defensiveness worse and takes away from your point when you say it’s because of OPs gender when the information given makes that a baseless argument.
It may be incredibly difficult but you did the right thing for both of you. Knowing that he lost you may help him change. All he’s ever known before is that you’ll stick around every time he falls off the wagon.
I was in a relationship like that before and I know change was always short lived. I also left when I was 30. Having a child with that man would’ve been a huge mistake. I’m now happily married with two lovely children. You deserve a chance at happiness. You’ve done all you could here. Listen to his mother.
Why are you surprised by your husbands response? Your actions put him on unequal footing in his own marriage; of course he is now going to go to extreme lengths to assuage his feelings and feel as if he’s in a position to recapture some of the autonomy and control that your actions denied him of. His emotional response is not abusive – nor are his demands. In fact, I would argue that the only questionable item on that list is the demand for certain sexual activities. But again, it’s easy to understand why a man who was denied emotional and physical intimacy from his wife for years would want his wife to engage in the same sexual proclivities with him as she did with her affair partner. Is it healthy? No. Do y’all need therapy? Absolutely. Is his emotional response understandable? Undoubtedly.
That aside, you seem to take issue with the fact that gasp you have to be financially and physically present in your marriage as a contingency for your partner to take you back. You cheated on him while he was paying 100% of the bills and mortgage. You cheated on him while he planned every date, paid for every date, and bought you gifts for every occasion. What, exactly, rings as being abusive to you in your spouse expecting equal contribution from you? You’ve taken advantage of him not only physically by having an affair, but financially in allowing him to provide you with the lifestyle you enjoyed while you went out and got railed by someone else. Gross.
As a woman, you need to do better than this. You’re here on Reddit trying to preemptively assign yourself into a victim role while questioning if your partners demands for reconciliation – demand contingent upon equal financial contribution, date planning efforts, and gift giving practices – are abusive. They aren’t and the fact that you are more concerned about being a victim than you are about the lessons to be learned here is alarming. Your partner wants you to financially contribute, confess and take accountability, pay for dates, and buy gifts because he wants you to see what you abused and took for granted. It wasn’t just his money, trips, physical items, etc. It was his time and his efforts and he wants you to do the same so you can have an appreciation for how much of himself went into doing them for you. Maybe if you were actually understanding of that you’d realize how seriously deep the wounds you inflicted are.
Take accountability. You had no problem stepping out on your marriage and lying to him, his family, your friends, and his friends. So take no issue with owning that. Actions have consequences and your husband needs to see tangible action from you. Accountability is hardly a crucible. It’s not like you’re Sisyphus having to roll a boulder uphill for the rest of time. His “punishment” (as you seem to view it) isn’t as Promethean as you’re making it out to be.
Frankly, if you aren’t willing to put efforts into your marriage you need to get divorced. Your husband is clearly tired of being an unappreciated party who bankrolls your lifestyle while you go out and live the life you want at his expense. Do better or get divorced.
I had that happen to me too. I would have these long intense dreams that seemed like I was re-living my past relationship with my ex. So I decided to contact him and meet up. He gained a lot of weight, lost all his hair and still lives with his mom. Never had those dreams again lol.