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Date: October 9, 2022
Because I'm not teaching my friends, co-workers, or parents not to pull that glass decoration down, or not to bite or not to pick up the cat by the tail. Swat to the hand or butt is a measured corrective action in the moment. The intent is not to inflict pain, but to provide a physical feedback (a negative feedback none the less). I have been there as a parent. My kids got a few corrective swats. The older probably more than the younger, because there is certainly a learning curve to parenting and a progressive change in parenting culture inbetween my 2 children. You would not like how we have helped the cats learn not to be in the christmas tree or on the counters, etc. Is it ongoing, no, but in the early stages of young life with very limited reasoning and launguage skills, negative feedback in the form of a corrective swat is immediate and effective. Fortunately, there are other strategies that can be utilized and it takes education and patience and practice. Decent parents dont feel good about smacking their kids, they dont feel good for yelling at their kids, and they are willing to employ other tactics. She paints this boyfriend as a otherwise well reasoned, even keeled, good person and father. If she is serious about this very young relationship she could bring effort to educate him on other tactics to employ in lieu of physical correction. (hopefully she is serious about the relationship, if we want to talk about the potential damage caused under the “umbrella of spanking” we can certainly recognize the attachment issues that can arise from bringing about short-term partners in such an intimate way). My initial reaction is not for this girl to run, but to help. Grow together.
Why shud u be apologizing?
It was kinda my fault she broke up, that's why
Girl… cut and run. Do not get involved with this man. Your gut reaction that something is off with him for good reason.
He’s not listening to anything you’re telling him. You don’t want to commit to a relationship with him and he’s pushing you to move in together before you even know him.
??????
A good therapy surely is going to be needed. I'm shocked and have no idea on how to approach the situation too. To me it's sound like he completely lost his mind.
Maybe asking why exactly he got mad, not the fact, but what about it make him feel this way will give a hint, but probably is something deeper.
Because it will clear the air.
Maybe, it's an age thing but isn't the point of social media to add and interact with people you know? I haven't used it in years but used to add coworkers all the time on it and still get asked for it from time to time. That's my take on it but of course it also depends on when she found it he was interested…
Sounds about right.
Like attracts like lol I was undiagnosed for decades, and the very few friends I do have are all neurodivergent as well. It's apparently felt on a subconscious level but we clicked early, and even with long periods between communicating, we always pick right up like it was no time at all
they both sound like codependent relationships. very one sided. healthy relationships are reciprocal. they go both ways. you need to have higher standards and better boundaries. personally i think investing in people who wont invest in you is a waste of time. and these people dont seem willing to invest in you.
Maybe people perceive him as “sensitive” and feel like they need to think before they speak?
Even if he isn't, he maybe gives off that vibe so maybe that's why men aren't has comfortable around him?