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rebecca77valentine chat
Date: October 3, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
rebecca77valentine chat
I’m going to use that second part of advice for myself lolz… Now I just need to write it down bc my thoughts are all over the place. Hopefully OP finds it just as useful
These blowups aren’t frequent, but when they happen they are bad and he is unable to control his anger in front our children.
It's in the post, just downplayed and sort of tacked on at the end.
thank you so much, that really helps!!!!!!!
OP, from reading your comments and other posts, you need to stop worrying about how your husband feels and worry about yourself. You admit you don't have friends and don't have education or the skills to get a decent job in case things were to not work out with your husband. I strongly suggest that you start an on-line program or some sort that can offer you a career as a backup. Start working part time and get a bank account in only your name to save there for an emergency.
Learn to coparenting effectively. Life isn’t a romance movie. There’s very little chance y’all end up together romantically.
You’re not going to past this if they find each other sexually attractive, and if they are going to spend more time together than you do with her. It was probably best that you stay broken up. You got to work on yourself and trust issues first.
No, you are not abnormal. Your boyfriend's expectations of what “normal” sexual activity looks like is not an accurate reflection of how everybody should feel or behave during sex. It's important for both partners to be comfortable in the bedroom and express their desires without judgement. Seek out a qualified counselor if these issues continue, as they will be able to help you resolve them more effectively than I can over this brief conversation.
Just get it done and over with, what’s the point in prolonging the inevitable.
he said he used condoms and she said she was on the pill. I'm not saying there isn't something iffy here but having sex with your girlfriend was the foul play here. It wasn't like he was being reckless.
Sounds like an unreliable and untrustworthy asshole honestly
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Listen dude, I was like you when my ex broke up with me. He.cut off contact with me and I wasn't “ready”. Turns out that like Having contact cut is the best thing that can happen to you. You'll be able to actually grow and move past your ex.
You are not listening to anybody here. You lied for 8 years. Regardless of what you lied about, you lied to someone you say you love for 8 years. No matter what the lie was about that is unforgivable.
Your bf might be right.
People show their true selves more than they know.
Going to Beat us someone for something like this can be a slippery slope. That said, I understand the emotions behind this. He should of went and talked to eve, seeing how she is and and supporting in filing a report. By doing what he did he is not the bad guy and has a target on his back.
He has a doctor that he makes appointments with over zoom. He’s been on it for 2 years now
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Yes tell him, and yes you can kick her out. You are not a homeless shelter.
Who cares if she winds up on the street. She’s been cheating on/with you. You want to tell the other guy. I respect that. You can tell him while she’s picking her shit up off the yard.
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As far as the age gap goes, 29 is an age where you’re much more settled in yourself and if you’re self aware and know what you want, it’s not a problem. He’s making excuses because he changed his mind. He needs to say what he wants and be certain.
I was being careless and so was he. It’s stupid thinking about it now and yeah I’m questioning the relationship
He may be obsessing over the fact that you have so much sexual experience, and still see those prior partners enough, that you might want to stop your relationship with him so you can go be with someone “sexier” or “hotter” or “more experienced.”
Often, a guy with less experience who finds out that his girlfriend has more sexual experience may feel less capable, somehow diminished. They may be intimidated because of the girlfriend's larger amount of experience. They may feel that she's been with someone bigger or better in some way.
What can help is to tell the guy that you have chosen him. If you had wanted to keep that prior life, you would have chosen to do so. You stopped and changed gears, as it were. On the off chance that your current boyfriend is somehow not as “sexy” as a past partner, make sure to point out that he is fantastic in so many other ways. Try to find something positive in his sexual interactions with you: telling the guy how tender and caring he is, and how much you like that, could be the counter to him wondering if you had some guy more animalistic in his passion, for instance. Make clear that you have chosen the kind of sexual life you want, and it includes him.
DO NOT use hormone therapy for anything other than medical treatment! It can totally mess your body up if used inappropriately! If YOU want bigger boobs, just get implants. It’s much much safer and you can guarantee the results. But do it for you, never for anyone else.
Acting like a confident secure boyfriend, leads you to thinking like one and eventually being one in relationships. That way…
there is no good reason to hide things creating further trust issues, and can be addressed properly
you don’t make yourself a point of conflict in your SO’s life. It’s a lot easier and much more justified to blame a needy insecure one.
you can never trust them to be/become independent but secure in the relationship if you never give that trust
you have a leg to stand on when there are real problems to fix, and they have a better chance at her working with you
As an ex-fraternity guy 85% of the girls always hooking up at parties were usually the same ones. Commonly had a truck load of issues, usually with equally terrible SO’s, and if the long distance ones showed up someone almost always spilled the beans if they were okay to drink a beer with because even we had brothers we didn’t like. 80% of my brothers were not an improvement to their problems.
If your gal is worth being with, you have nothing to worry about. If she isn’t she’ll show she isn’t on her own, and it’s harder to do that if you treat her like you’d want to be treated.
This is the season 3 Bridgerton spoiler.
Create your own tinder profile, pay for the service, and show him how many likes you accrue in a day. Laugh.
Then dump him.
I mean screenshot it if you have mutual friends that you think she’ll lie to. Then block her ass, cut communication and if nec. tell your friends you don’t feel comfortable to be around her bc of ‘x’.
I’m actually not happy when she is here. I am happy when it’s just my son and I. I think he just misses her.
The hotel is the strangest part to me. It’s in the city they on-line in; presumably they’ll have to Uber/taxi back anyway, why do they need a hotel room?
I kind of just assumed he had other reason not to trust her, that’s fair. I don’t think on again off relationships are indicators of cheating, but toxic relationships like that do have more cheating from what I’ve seen. We don’t know that she is though so you’re right, I shouldn’t blame her or assume.
However, in my experience 21 year olds who have just started going to clubs are probably a spike in the cheating statistics, man or woman.
This isn't really a relationship question. More a sex question.
But why don't you try not having an orgasm during sex 1 out of 10 times and see how you feel. Also, make it random so you don't know which one of those 10 times. I think you will then have more empathy.
I'm giving her somewhat the benefit of the doubt.
I think she went into this expecting the sex to be far, far less frequent. I also think she may have had a specific idea of what sex would be like, particularly if she was a virgin beforehand. Then reality hit: his idea of occasional is far more frequently than she thought. She also takes no enjoyment or pleasure from the sex. She may have been hoping that it would just feel tedious, but instead she's kind of repulsed. She dreads saying anything to him, because she knows it would end the relationship. As such, she grows more sex repulsed. Meanwhile he's going through his own version of all of this. He notices what she's going through and while they talk about it to some degree, neither really go into any depth about the sexual incompatibility. When she does finally open up, it comes out like it did. Sort of a diarrhea of the mouth.
It doesn't make what she said right and as an asexual person I'm kind of horrified that she tried to shame him. But I can somewhat see where she's coming from, so benefit of the doubt that she's otherwise a good person. But he can't know her limits or comfort levels or expectations unless she communicates them.
They still need to break up, though. This is turning them both into people they don't want to be, especially her.
I am also afraid of losing time with my child if we break and I have to on-line an hour away for work….
If you break up and she’s on the deed, you’re going to have to fight her for your house. And you’ll probably lose because of the kid and the legal systems bias towards mothers.
Also, don’t get married unless you’ve signed a prenuptial agreement if this stuff is floating around in your head… it’s there for a reason, man.
Well, when you can correlate several things and create a pattern. There is no denying what someone is obviously doing.
He is trying to look single while not actually cheating. And you see people do things like this all the time removing wedding rings, making social media suddenly private, etc
Certainly
Your place is not below him. In fact, your place is not WITH him. This is abusive behavior from him. Insulting you, controlling you, demanding your attention, etc. It means that you are free to leave and be happy by yourself and make room in your life to meet someone who is good to you.
A partner who loves you would not treat you this way.
Frankly, I didn't think about anything regarding finances when we talked about getting married.
That's your first mistake. There are some major issues that can sink a marriage faster than the Titanic, and not agreeing on how to handle financial matters is one of them. There's nothing “romantic” about not having practical conversations about finances, regardless of whether formal legal agreements are involved. If you decide to continue the relationship even without marriage, for God's sake start examining and talking about at what you each bring to the table so that you don't end up left in the lurch because you've spent years supporting him while he's been nickel and diming you on every takeout pizza.
New apartment and new bed are enough to create new habits. Maybe he has a completely different love language.
I feel we are only hearing this from your point of view. I wonder if she’s one of those women ending up doing the majority of childcare, housework and working a regular job too? That can frustrate anyone and might be why she’s started resenting you. The getting drunk part does seem a bit inconsiderate with a small child without arranging it beforehand, eg would be fair if you both agree that you get one evening free to have some drinks and she in return gets another evening free to do whatever she wants.
Or maybe she is just a horrible person. Nude to know from knowing only one side of the story.
She said over 4 years as well ?
How the hell does one even get into such a situation? What are you doing?
You are sad because you now know you are not enough. He wants to have sex with someone you both actually know.
This would be the end of it for me…
I feel like some sort of detail is missing here. Like… why you would ask if it was sinful? Were you undressed in the picture? Because I could actually see getting upset about getting a nakers baby picture combined with that really odd question. Otherwise I got nothing and this guy is crazy.