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Paola, 28 y.o.
Location: Florida, United States
Room subject: bra off for 1 min [0 tokens remaining]
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms Paola
Date: November 2, 2022
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It’s possible you have a humiliation kink. Maybe google and explore that concept, and if it fits, then share with your partner the concept and your specific preferences, and see what they say. Also check out the r/sex subreddit and maybe ask there, if you don’t get useful info here.
Arent you angry?..He LIED to you. You dont have to be nice to him much less wants to.be friends. He actually wants to.be FWB with you.
Why the heck did he say he is 23?…because he is fishing for young women!! In the midst of divorce??…He is technically MARRIEDD when he hooked up with you.
Next time be very careful when you want to hook up. Especially in giving out your personal info like address etc. See now you are afraid to do anything becauae he knkws where.you live!. But just block.him OP. Tell him you feel.cheated and if he ever contact you again you will.report to the police.
Exactly
Don’t go and see your parents tomorrow. Call them and tell they you are cutting them out!
It sounds like he has serious commitment issues. You could suggest couples therapy. If he r3fuses that, break up with him. It's not going to move forwards.
You can try and hide your mental issues but it will not work in the long run. Your mental disorders will show their head eventually. With one of my exes, tried to hide my depression and PTSD. I eventually had a PTSD flashback and panicked in front of him. He was confused and didn’t know what to do. We ended up breaking up. He wasn’t the guy for me. He showed me what I really wanted in a relationship. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 2 years and he has seen me and my complete worst. I won’t say what’s happened, but he’s witnessed me break mentally and was still there for me. These instances have brought us closer together. He has a lot of trauma as well so we help each other through it sometimes, although, we don’t rely on each other completely. It’s not good to be codependent. It’s good to find somebody who you can support and be there for you. If you lie to your significant other about your mental health, how would they feel when they found out you lied? If you’re not ready to be honest then you’re not ready for a relationship. If you have the mentality you do, you have a lot of self healing to do. I was single for almost 2 years of my life due to having a similar mentality as yours. I wanted to heal before putting myself out there. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. You can still go on dates and have fun with people, but do not get into a relationship and straight up lie to them. It’s disrespectful and you don’t really love them if you can’t even be honest and open up about yourself.
Anxiety does it to me. Makes it naked for me to riff on the conversation. Some times you have to work through this part and find some excitement. Do activities together that get you both moving and engaging. Many people aren’t naturally good at making conversation. It’s a skill.
Of course you need to go to court. You are overthinking a non existent problem. It doesn’t matter that the law can’t cover any single situation. The current situation gets a lot better. You aren’t going to court for perfection, but improvement
Did you ask her if she had fun? That’s what I’d do.
Wtf.
This feels needlessly aggressive. I don’t need to assert myself. I’ve decided to do this, and I’m doing it – I’m just looking for advice for the most sensitive way to go about it given the circumstances. The circumstances are the difficulty, not breaking up with someone.
Yo I have had the same thing, mine was specifically with condoms. If put a condom on my D would throw a fit lol. I practiced masterbating with condom and got my confidence up.
What specifically is happening when you go soft? Is it due to condom, specific position, inner thoughts? Need more background
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You had me up until obligated. She is not obligated to do anything, and if this is how you are presenting it to her, she's probably digging in her heels even more.
I would tell he why it's important for you. Not why it should be important for her. After that, if she still chooses not to go, then you need to make a decision. Let it go or let her go.
Look up nagging, it could be this. Basically you being a knock out makes him feel insecure so he has to tear your confidence down so that you don't figure out you can do better than him.
You were raped by your boyfriend. Please get out of that relationship ASAP. This is abusive and scary.
You absolutely CANNOT use the morning after pill as birth control. If you are at a certain point in your cycle it will not prevent pregnancy. If you skip days of your birth control then it will not protect you the entire cycle. If you continue like this, you may get pregnant.
He was a 21 year old dating a 16 year old ???????
He is hiding your birth control to force you to be pregnant… like wth???
He doesn’t listen to how you feel with a very important and life changing topic. He instead tries to coerce and manipulate you to do what he wants.
I’m sure there are other reasons than what you stated to not be in this relationship. You don’t even need to have a discussion with him. Leave with all of your stuff when he isn’t around, text, and block him. He is a scary man that already committed a violent physical crime against you when you were defenseless. He may get violent again. Please protect yourself.
Well, your wife is not doing okay. We can't hear her side of the story but let's say we're taking your assessment of her character from you in full.
But, judging by your replies, you're actively kicking your 2-man sack race partner with your legs while they are down and then wondering why they can't get up.
With this amount of resentment and lack of understanding of mental issues, you will be better off divorced.
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I know what it is. Unfortunately not everyone has the ability to leave when it gets tough. I've been trying in between trying to make it work. Sometimes people just need to vent.
You're young so I will tell you this: don't do anal. It's clear that it hurts you and you don't enjoy it. So you don't have to do it, ever.
The vast majority of women do not come from PIV sex. Try giving her oral until she comes first, then have PIV sex. Or have her use a vibrator while having PIV sex. Try other stuff beyond just PIV sex. Foreplay, you know. Getting angry helps no one. You've come waaay more than she has and I don't see her punching things until her hands are bloody.
At least it's only 3 years wasted, don't make it 4
Oh man, this really sounds like a soap opera. First of all, break up with Jeason! You're not in love with him, you just want him, because you want to be close(er) to Tim. And second of all Tim is a bastard. How could you flirt with your brother's gf?! At your age you shouldn't have such “games” like you're 18. Just break up the relationship and move on! Tim is a bastard. If he flirts with his brothers (!) gf he sure as hell will flirt with a co-worker he certainly will meet at some point.
You not picking up his call resulted in him not buying you a ticket…this is a man you’ve been dating for 9 years & he didn’t have the decency to call again or send a text. This man ain’t it!
I don't think anything could happen, because I still think I'm imagining too much.
But about marriage, you're probably right. As long as I can not completely focus on my friend, I see no future.
I got you!!!
Ask him to attend couples therapy with you.
“I know we are divorced, but would you consider attending couples therapy with me?”
Say it’s to work on co-parenting and your relationship.
If you guys get a great therapist and you both get some tools, work on forgiving each other for the past – YAY!!
The Baby Years are the absolute hardest years for any marriage. I hope it works out for you both. You, OP have a lot of self-work to do. Show him you’re serious, and create a safe space for him to vent.
Good luck.
Honestly once you have heard the truth from someone, and this is his truth, you cannot unhear it. It would appear that he blames you for his anxiety and depression, and that is not something you will forget, added to the really hurtful statement that your marriage was a mistake and he was an idiot for going through with it. That right there is a no hope for me. This will happen again, and again. You absolutely don't need this.
You need to do what's best for you and your children. If he blames you (and the kids) for his unhappiness, it will absolutely affect your children as they are young and impressionable.
I would tell him to move out, go to therapy. He must move out, because for you and the kids to move right now will be challenging and upsetting to them. Tell him to go and stay with family or friends while you think about your future. Help him pack his clothes and necessities. This is an absolute must do in my book. You don’t need this, nor do your kids.
Next, tell him you need distance from him. No contact for a week. Start planning your exit strategy. You need to speak to a divorce attorney/lawyer. You need to plan where you and your children will live!, but you need space to do this.
The process of physical vs full attraction is tiring. But I will not settle. I have children in the equation. Thank you by the way.
Make your own drinks. Or, better yet, make all of the drinks.
He’s doing some weird ‘magic’ on you. Literally.
She told you that you are weak for having boundaries. That is abuse.
Pure DARVO “Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.” She is not in the wrong for walking all over your boundaries you're in the wrong for even daring to have boundaries. Why would you put up boundaries if you didn't want her trashing them? see your fault!
This is not a healthy relationship.
Absolutely. She denies it completely. Her ex moved here to this state for her in 2020 and after 7 years together she left him in fall 2021z met me January 2022, engaged and living together by June 2022, made a new Facebook and just added me, my friends, her parents, some old friends and a few random wealthy dudes from LA, left her ex off the new one. Meanwhile she has liked every single one of his posts from June to present on Instagram. She had him watch her dog while we went on vacation in September. She also went to a wedding with him last month in Miami, across the country from where we live!, because it was for a “mutual friend” and she “RSVP’d before the breakup”. So there was some overlap in our relationships. She removed 2 of my friends from her new Facebook for questioning her behavior and because they wanted me to break up with her. Her ex was at her parents house 12/21 Christmas week building a Lego set with her 10 year old brother, he posted all about it on his Instagram stories. Now they’re in Brazil for a work trip. According to her she’s more mature than most women and can maintain a “mutually loving” friendship with her ex because he’s “important to her”. She also gave me a bracelet for Christmas called a mutual attraction bracelet that she had custom made on Etsy with her name engraved on it and she got one for herself with my name. At first thought it was sweet and thoughtful now it seems like she just wanted to see how much of a fool she can make me out to be because she’s attractive and has me under a spell
She told you that you are weak for having boundaries. That is abuse.
Pure DARVO “Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.” She is not in the wrong for walking all over your boundaries you're in the wrong for even daring to have boundaries. Why would you put up boundaries if you didn't want her trashing them? see your fault!
This is not a healthy relationship.
He’s either already cheated or is looking for an opportunity
Dude your GF is getting dicked down on her work trips, and she has so little regard for your relationship and you that she's pretty much throwing it in your face, I would guess she's laughing about the hilarity of the situation in-between bedroom sessions with her coworker.
I'd bet my house on this…
“I think this is inappropriate and I know my husband will agree. I don't feel comfortable staying in a room with a man. Please reassign me to stay with someone else.” …is what she should be saying to them. Has she? Why hasn't she?
Is this really common for her employer? Even if it is, it shouldn't be. Even if it's not her idea, why is she comfortable with this? Shouldn't she want to push back on it?
Diet change and possible lactose intolerance issue.
Have you called her behavior abuse openly? Because it was. I understand about hormones and that part not really being her fault, but the fact remains that she abused you for nine months.
I had to have a discussion with my partner similar to this at one point. When he's deep into a depression episode, he is also verbally abusive, along with a few instances of looming, yelling, following me to yell at me, and similar things. Just says the worst things to me, acts like everything wrong in his life is on me.
We were talking about his depression and his decision to stop treatment for a while to see if he still needs meds, and he kept saying that he was “hard to deal with” during that time, but he didn't really take the idea of it happening again seriously.
Finally I was like “I'm worried about you discontinuing treatment because I'm afraid of being abused for six months again while you spiral into despair. I know that you did not mean to act that way, but I can't handle it ever again, and if you leave your depression untreated again and become abusive again, I will leave you.”
This was naked because at first he wanted to go through everything that happened and deny that it was abusive but he didn't remember the worst of it, because it wasn't as impactful for him to be on his side of it. It's just a hazy period of misery for him, but for me it was a time of being treated poorly and being made to feel unsafe. I honestly think if he'd left it about six months longer it would have escalated to him hitting me, and there's no way I would have been able to forgive that.
There's this thing where we act like to be abusive, you have to be a bad person. So if our partner hurts us but they aren't “bad” it isn't abuse. The same with our own behavior. But you don't have to be bad to abuse someone. You just have to be emotionally unregulated. Lots of things can impact emotional regulation (hunger, pregnancy, lack of sleep, work stress, mental illness). If we don't work to manage that, it's not even really that difficult to become abusive to our loved ones.
Hmm. You really think so about education? I’ve met some pretty cool attorneys, professors, etc. in punk spaces.
couple of things.
dating at work can be… dangerous. First, be prepared to have to leave the job if things go south.
Second, I think a lot of people associate the “forced” closeness of work environments with intimacy and then think “oh, we're great together we should date” and it's kind of a false vision.
But, you're young and you've got to learn and experience these things on your own, so here are my 2 suggestions.
1- ask her if she wants to go get coffee or some other non-threatening date idea, like going to a book store together or some such.
2- talk about favorite childhood movies, and no matter what she says and if you've seen it, claim you haven't. If she's even remotely into you, she'll be over your place that night with plans to watch it. And if she's really into you, you won't get very far into that movie… I must have watched Labyrinth “for the first time” about 10 times during college. Never once made it to the end.
It sounds like he regrets being with you. It's time to break up.
Yeah thank you for the comment and your understanding
Congratulations to you are in order, because you got to realize this guy ain't it only 3 months in! Leave & don't look back.
I never said anything remotely like that.
And OP asked for anyone with experience, for which I qualify.
That’s not compromise. So she’s fucking crazy. You know your sister. How’s your relationship been forever?
Well, apparently people here don't understand the concept of respect. Everyone longs for a healthy relationship, but no one wants to sacrifice anything. The dude made it clear since the beginning that he doesn't feel ok about the photos with her exes, and the girl agreed. Why is it so difficult?? Why is it insecurity???
Man, you are not wrong. If you are in a monogamous, close relationship, some boundaries need to be set. Exes are always trouble. If they weren't trouble, they wouldn't be exes.
“Ownt, but they ended things in good terms…”. Ok, right. But they still ended things. They may be respectful to each other, but it doesn't mean the photos should be kept on social media despite their new partners feeling bad about it. People need to grow up and learn how to turn the pages. It's not about “control” or “erasing the past”, but about minimum RESPECT.
Tell the mods to just add it to the description then & call it a wrap & close the sub, geeze.