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Onespet, 48 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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You dodged a bullet. Consider it a blessing and don’t reply!
The woman I’ve been seeing has used my phone multiple times for benign reasons. I have nothing to hide though and told her she could look at whatever she wants when she made a joke about how she might accidentally find something. Every time someone uses someone else’s phone isn’t strictly for snooping. We use each others phones all the time.
He was my best friends cousin which is how we met. I never even saw him in that way until he made the first move on me when he was 19.. so definitely nothing weird going on like what you’re implying.
American Heart Association recommends no more than 6 teaspoons of sugar per day or 24 grams of sugar. And so much food has added sugar- using four in the morning seems like a lot to me. And drinking soda as a regular drink of choice in addition to sugary coffee… Coke’s are a super high sugar food and would be better as a once in a while treat (39 grams of sugar). A Starbucks Frappuccino is a whopping 69 grams of sugar. With the deteriorating healthcare system in America and the cost of insulin- I definitely recommend minding sugar intake even in your 20s. Other countries consumer so much less sugar on average and have less health problems overall.
This is beyond fake.
The racist parents calling their son Aryun?
Gimme a break.
It's not your fault you have anxiety, but it is your responsbility, not theirs to deal with.
Just because they are aware of it, doesn't mean they have to change their lives and desires to fit around your needs.
If you have children in the future and she gets annoyed at them what is she going to do? Lock them in a room so she doesn't have to face them?
I said Ive had reservations because of lack of intimacy lately. You may be right that I have had reservations in the back of my mind but I have also been sure this is the person for me. Its not being scared of being alone, its a fear of ripping a piece of me out and being wrong.
Ouch .. you should handle this with care… A few red flags were read by someone who ignored them in denial for a while.
Hmm… I’m sorry you have discovered this. I think this would bother me too, honestly. Like a lot.
Might be smart to discuss this…
I’m stuck between not really loving him and telling myself to just wait and hoping I eventually will.
I’ve been here before and ended up staying for wayyy too long, never feeling truly fulfilled by our relationship. I never really felt that love you want to feel with someone with him, but I did become more codependent, and it became more and more difficult to disentangle my life from his.
If I could go back in time I’d have trusted my gut and left him in early days instead of wasting YEARS settling for good enough.
That’s how men are taught (culturally) in most of the world. If someone messes with your family you make damn sure it doesn’t happen again in whatever way you can.
It goes back centuries at least and is very hot to change. I felt and feel the same way when someone hurts my partner and sure most guys do too but doesn’t necessarily mean we would actually do what the husband did.
We would use what we are able to do to make sure our family is safe by paying for protection or seeing that they are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and everything in between. It’s a natural instinct and very similar to when a mother does what it takes to protect their kids or family.
That’s why a lot of men don’t n here understand and support the husband's actions in this post. They feel they would do the same thing or worse in a similar situation.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Start making light of the situation. Also, and this is just a guess, but OP may be protecting negative vibes, making people suspect him even more. Resentment at moving to a strange place, needing to cope with this situation, etc. may be causing him to be scowly. A grim face, coupled with a much younger-appearing wife, could very possibly be the majority of the issue. OP – you need to bring these people to your side. Be pleasant. Make lighthearted small talk. Be helpful when you can. Start having conversations with people who haven't actively spoken against you, along the lines of: I'm so grateful you are so pleasant to us – would you believe that a couple of people actually made my daughter cry with their crazy gossip? It's so weird, being younger and moved far away from your family and friends by your spouse, only to have people speak negatively against you because of how old you and your spouse look.
The fact that she was getting all horny telling you this means she still doesn't care that it was well-known infidelity. Yeah we do dumb sht when we're in our early 20s but she still gets super turned on at the thought of being a married man's side piece. I did dumb horny sht when I was that age but I wouldn't get all riled up talking about it because I know it wasn't good. She's getting riled up STILL over it sooooooo… I dunno, feels off to me.
I would hope that even if their bond grows to exceed your bond with him that they are both decent people who would not exclude you. Also, my primary worry is that your fear of being left behind is going to result in behavior that makes them want to leave you behind!
Break up. It doesn't sound like you two are going to make it very long anyway
Seems to me you have already made up your mind
Talk to a good lawyer and do what you need to do
You're immature as hell. She figured it out quickly…. good for her.
He's allowed to sleep with whomever he wants, including your friend and/or her cousin.
You are not in a relationship. If you want to change that then you need to have that conversation with him. You can also suggest mutually exclusive fwb.
I would never sleep with the same guy my friend was fucking for multiple reasons but it's only morally wrong if your friend knows you have feelings for him and you clearly do. Maybe talk to your friend and her cousin.
You're both insufferable. It takes 1 minute to reach out. You're part of the reason dating is difficult for people.
Maybe get more creative?
Maybe buy a scooter to travel more.
Maybe start a YT video channel and get exposure on a hobby or topic. Ex. What’s it like living in your village? The history. Ect. Make more of a media impression for yourself?
Then you say it. While he can't say in front of people, the way he behaves toward you probably says it all.
I’m guessing just incomparable body chemistry. It’s a thing. Don’t waste your energy on this one. Not worth it.