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Date: October 12, 2022
AmateurPub
Not just women, believe me. I'm a woman and had this shit happen to me.
Cheating on your partner destroys them. It completely breaks down their self-esteem, makes them feel like they'll never be enough, gives them trust issues. It's awful. If someone knowingly does that to you, they don't give a fuck. They may shed a couple of crocodile tears and apologize if the relationship was comfortable or they had something to gain from it, but they're not sorry. They're sorry you found out.
So because I'd react differently to a break up, that automatically means I'm not on the same page emotionally?
I'm trying to figure out why you took a pregnant young girl to your parents for Thanksgiving? At 26 you should be with grown women not promiscuous young girls! Also don't be all supportive like it's your child then expect everyone to understand what is going on. How long have you been with this little hoe anyway? She was too young and you're being too immature and stupid to be involved in this much drama over some old dudes baby…
Give it time, because in the end that is all we have. He might be a controlling person and afraid of another male, totally common.
Communicate with both of them and lay down your version and whether he believes or not is not up to you. How they want to proceed further is up to them, not you.
In life we gain and lose people around us. True friends do not think ill of one another.
just do it this sounds awesome, and possibly a disaster. But also pretty cool
From the comments it’s clear you are going to stay with him and make excuses. For the sake of your sexual health, go get tested regularly.
She’s manipulative and you seem somewhat petty. This isn’t a good relationship based on your post. Probably time to move on
There is an American dad episode about this exact situation(the wife got Chinese parents too)
DTMFA. She's ridiculous.
Cutting someone out completely is difficult. That being said, stop engaging with her and see what happens. You might not have to be drastic if you yourself start caring less?
Wonder what would happen if you just suggested googling pasties…. ? Does he think they're not a thing? Then again, I'm sure the internet is wrong… /s
Oh I think he will for sometime but in the long run he will be better off without the drama.
You are allowed to have whatever standards you want in a relationship. If porn use is not okay to you, then you are allowed to break up over porn use.
It is nude because a lot of people use it, but I do believe people can become addicted and dependent on it. If he lies to you about it, puts his porn use above your feelings, is more interested in porn than your sex life with him and you being satisfied, then it might be worth it to not wait around for him to respect you, and to move on. Not every person who watches porn is going to prioritize that over your sex life. Also there are people out there that don’t use porn.
There is nothing you can do to make this happen. But what you can do is make sure she she knows the door is always open for her to return if and when she’s ready.
Often, it’s not something the parents did or was their fault, contrary to the popular Reddit opinion of blame-the-parents-no-matter-what. It can be a matter of perspective where teenagers see things completely differently than their parents. When this is the case, they will often find their way back home as their perspective aligns.
In the meantime, you and your husband need to spend a lot of time focusing on yourselves and your healing. There is some truth in the rejection you’re experiencing at the hands of your grown children. Doing your best to understand their pov will help healing all the way around.
I am so sorry for your loss. No family ever deserves to lose a beloved member. But each member of the family travels their own journey on the path of grief.
I would also suggest that you find a different ear for this conversation. The comments here attacking and blaming you for something that can’t possibly be fully understood only adds to the trauma you’re already feeling.
You're a liar and a creep for posting this. Your boyfriend likes Ryan Reynolds?
Buddy .. if you can’t go out & have a few drinks without getting plastered to the point that you’re unavailable the next day there are WAY bigger issues at hand.
It is easier to break up and reconnect when you are closer
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My girlfriends snap map said she was at a random house while she was supposed to be at work. 6 minute drive from her work so it would be a huge error on the gps's part if it was an error.
When I brought it up she got extremely defensive and said she wasn't anywhere and that she was at work. She started crying, then left the house.
She came back 2 hours later happy not wanting to talk about what happened.
She swears it was a mess up on snap map.
What do you think?
Edit: holy crap thank you everybody. This is extremely nude, and I thought I was going to build a life with her. I'm starting to realize, maybe it's not a two way street.
Thank you everybody.
Hahahaha I don’t have any advice but this made me laugh.
If you were on fire and your bf was thirsty, he would drink all the water.
Talking about selfish, geez. Your BF is quite the diva. I'm not sure why you would consider staying with him. You will always be the second or third priority. He has no empathy and the world revolves around him.
You were basically blackmailed and manipulated into the abortion. He then has pretty much doublecrossed and left you anyways. Get rid of this shit stain and find a man. He has the maturity of a preteen and the empathy of a brick.
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I arm wrestled my coworker once, thinking I’d actually stand a bit of a chance. I’d been regularly working out, lifting weights, for a while. Noticeably saw my arms getting bigger, shirt sleeves got tighter. My coworker is a scrawny, skinny, tall guy. He runs, but I’d be willingly to bet he’s never lifted a single weight in his life.
I cannot tell you how quickly I lost to that man. I was so upset haha. He was nice and just said “it was always unfair from the testosterone.” He also blamed the arm leverage. Either way, lesson fucking learned lol
if she thinks it’s so unfair she’s free to find a work from home job herself? like i can’t imagine asking my partner for this just because they work from home and i don’t lmao
Two years you haven’t bought your daughter a gift or a birthday card cause you’re afraid of being criticized by your wife…my guy this isn’t some random kid, she’s your daughter
PROTIP: i am a woman.
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Unless you're her child, she doesn't need to stay home with you whe you have a fever. We are adults, we can take care of ourselves.
What did you plan on her doing for you by staying home anyway?
Imo if you're so sick, you need someone to help you then it sounds like you need to go to the hospital. All other illnesses can be handled by yourself.
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My genuine advice would be to speak to a professional counsellor/therapist/whatever they call it where you on-line, and work to get to the bottom of why you can't seem to let these old contacts go.
And buy your wife some flowers. ⚘️
We don’t own a home yet. We on-line in a HCOL area where the median home price is over $800k so that type of purchase would be quite a few years off anyway. I’m not sure having $5k more in her account is going to make a huge difference.
I absolutely value that it means something to her to be part of this family tradition and I don’t want to take that away from her but I feel like it comes at the expense of expressing my own individuality. So it’s tough situation, but I do appreciate that there are ways to set the stone to be safe and less flashy.
You should probably seek therapy. I’ve never heard of someone calling the mother of their unborn child an ingrate before. That.. is astounding.
Kind of shows her and your friend didn’t have any boundaries. He wasn’t available and they still did.
So if she would break boundaries before, would she now? Especially with him constantly around.
It doesn’t mean it would happen again but it doesn’t show good character of either person.
I'm not… You just mentioned that we are all calling her evil and a monster in several posts. We are not….you are maybe inferring it but those are your words. Maybe your subconscious is trying to say something? Who knows. That's just something I wanted to point out. I don't think ANYONE except you called her “evil” or a “monster”
You're right. While I think there's a chance we can fix the relationship up, I know the cards aren't stacked in my favor so I'll be prepared for anything. Thank you.
Wtf does she do all day?
stab him with a fork ffs. I hate him. I'm sorry. Nothing constructive to add besides I'd be pissed if my partner did that bullshit with me. Bad enough he doesn't care about your relationship with anyone in the group.
That is fine you can just take your time to think about it but always consider putting your health above any relationship, if it is something making you more stressed than you should be you are perfectly allowed to not be mature and break things up for you
No I didn’t.
hey the bedroom smells like Julia’s perfume, was she in here?
How is that accusing anything? There’s a million things he could’ve answered. “I don’t know, weird” or “ yeah getting our sons sweater”. Not flipping out.
Yea I told him I won't be sending him more nudes, I told him to be completely honest with me and truth hurts ig
THIS! i have one good guy friend and we absolutely do not do this lmao
Friendship with a bipolar person can be extremely draining and one-sided. I had a same-sex platonic friendship with another woman in my graduate program. I got to a point where I could not give what she was asking and I distanced myself. A few months later she did commit suicide. Of course I felt guilty, but I also felt she was too much and I should have broken off with her much earlier.
To be honest, in general i am in support of prenups and postnups. when they are drafted together and in the best interests and support of both people. It’s very strange to me that at this point in a relationship/marriage, a person would be thinking about hoarding their assets.
To be honest, in general i am in support of prenups and postnups. when they are drafted together and in the best interests and support of both people. It’s very strange to me that at this point in a relationship/marriage, a person would be thinking about hoarding their assets.
This guy seems like a whiny manchild who can barely wipe his own ass at best,soon-to-be abuser at worst. I don’t know anything about you OP but you can do better.
“rough tough masculine type of way” is what really got me. You don’t have to babytalk or act like a bimbo for a 26 year old shithead. Like not even close.
Well it looks like you had sex with her in the time frame for that to be possible. The only way to be sure is a paternity test. They can now be done before the child is born but I'm unsure at what stage. Don't sign anything until you have a paternity and do not allow yourself to be put on the birth certificate until you are 100% sure,
My grandmother actually died after my uncle who lived with her left her in a shower for 8 hours after a fall before telling anyone else. He knew she was in there but didn't even try to lift her.
Fwiw, you made the right call.
Just face it, he's selfish and doesn't actually care about you….at all. I don't know what miracle you're hoping for, but he won't change. He'll always be insecure.
Listen. However you felt is 1000% valid. Let’s start there. Okay? You are not dramatic- he was trying to humiliate you, and did it, and it hurt you, you cried, and he laughed at your tears. He was absolutely trying to humiliate you.
Now. I wanna tell you how I think I would have felt. IRATE. I WAS ABOUT TO CUM AND YOU SLAPPED MY HAND AWAY IN A MEAN WAY AND DIDNT LET ME????? dude I stg I would not let this man touch me intimately for monthssssss. Idk if id even look at him for a bit, like I would be disgusted. I get that this is a kink, it is NOT MY KINK and I would be very very very angry. I would send him home and masturbate all night. Then text him with every orgasm. Just to inform him that I WILL do what I want, when I want.
Man, I feel extra sassy. I’m just so irritated he thinks he could just do that to you OP. I wish so nude you would just tell him to go play in trafficccc. Like gtfoh with that. I could rant All night.
Woahh there how did we get to rape 😐 but yeah like I said I am already ignoring her.
You said she could do anything and when she did it you laughed so it’s understandable if she thought it didn’t hurt you. People have different pain tolerances. The important thing is when you told her to stop she did. But I’d argue you need to hold off on play fighting for awhile until you trust her more. Or explore some bdsm subreddits to understand the type of trust and communication needed for these type of play activities. With out trust and boundaries established and rigorously respected, any rough play can become contentious or go horribly wrong.
Are you both their child or is there a chance you are a step-child or a lovers child your mom had to take in somehow? The way they treated you is wild. Almost like they had to put up with you. Is your sibling treated any better?
In any case, you need to separate yourself from their money, they didn’t cover the bare minimum when you were a child I doubt they will consider to leave you something now, at least you know you are a better parent to your own child.
Thank you. You’re right. I don’t know why I expected him to validate my feelings and confusion.
Should i? Like from professionals?
I'm confused why you wouldn't…
and i know myself i am the most fucked up dumb person.
Do you think these are normal thoughts for a happy, healthy, and mentally strong person?
Could be he actually is a player. In that case, having sex so soon may have been a mistake if a long-term relationship is what you really want. But on the other hand, if he continues to pull away and only keeps in contact enough to see if he might get laid again, it would tell you a lot.
Maybe he's just protecting his tender little heart. Or maybe he's taking whatever he can get. All you can do is protect your own tender little heart and let some time pass to see how he acts after you are completely free of your current commitments. Good luck!
It's a threesome with two dudes and one lady
It's a threesome with two dudes and one lady
I don’t choose a partner who gives me controlling and jealous ultimatums based off of not something I’ve done, but another.
It’s not about choosing a friend over your marriage, it’s about deciding what type of marriage you want to be in. I would not end 20 year long friendships due to my spouses unjustified anxiety, proving only their basic lack of trust in me. Discuss it, really ask why. Get them to spell it out. They’re worried you’re going to cheat… it’s far more about the marriage and trust in each other over anything else.
The amount of posters here stating PROUDLY that they don’t have opposite sex friendships is alarming and sad.
Lol, it’s almost like we told you so but of course, why would you listen ?
This is why male best friends are a huge red flag. Absolute nude no. Even if they're not waiting around for a moment of vulnerability I'm not having some dude hearing about my relationship and giving advice to my woman. I expect to get down voted for this because there's a contingent that cannot accept the truth, do your own research. There are a ton of relationship coaches, many of whom are women, who warn against this. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Keep in mind, just because someone else would have stayed with your bf doesn't mean you were wrong for not. This is truly an individual thing. You sound like you are on different time tables and that was your dealbreaker. That's okay. We all have things that we would consider reasons to end a relationship and move on over, regardless of love feelings. Timing is a really common one.
I might come to Reddit to get some outside perspective. I love my friends and I confide in them but I also know they’re biased towards my side because they love me too. Even if they’re trying to be objective, there’s still a skew in my favour. Of course I’d take any advice from Reddit with a grain of salt but it would be nice to hear what people who don’t have any reason to be nice to me would say.
Updateme!
There’s a lot of enjoyable things to explore in the country that don’t include vomit or cruise ships.
It’s weird that you think sexism is cool. “KEeP cRyiNg.”
Nothing wrong with putting some music on and chatting with the flat mate when they get a free minute. Not saying to have music blasting through the neighbourhood but enough for a distraction for herself
I met the love of my life last year at 48. It only took me five months to decide to give up my awful chiweenie.
Dog free life is awesome ?
Did you read his post and comments? He gets it.
It's not just timing. She dropped a bombshell. She needs to learn communicate and brace people for news like that.
I've found that reddit sometimes forget that TWO people can be wrong and bad.
When I messaged him privately to apologize in case I stepped on any toes (which, I should not have done since I don’t feel I did anything truly wrong), he just said we would discuss it later a second time, and I finally told him “forget it, I’ll just buy my own ticket”.
It’s very clear to me that he’s being cagey about something and I’m done with his bullshit. At this point, I may go to this movie screening, I may have something unexpectedly come up on that night.
What an idiot
What does he have to say about all of this?
Just because I don't have experience doesn't mean that I am clueless. The couples who do not celebrate it usually have discussed it beforehand, I mean he could have given me a heads up that he doesn't celebrate it and I would have not expected anything. “They don't actively celebrate it with flowers” but they do celebrate it in other ways, usually.
I don't see why you feel the need to attack me when I am honestly asking a question BECAUSE I am not sure if my feelings are justified.
My doctor recommended it to me in my 40s. She said that the newer version covers more strains and it’s worth doing. You may need new doctors.
Even for your boyfriend, your milestones will likely also quickly be tainted once the disappointment sets in and he realises that everything he is currently feeling remains even after.
Ding ding ding. Everywhere you go, there you are.
good faith joke vs bad faith joke
Don't wait 3 months next time.
Get a temperature on a person's dating attitude early on. .
Also, drop anyone the second they start getting vague and speaking incoherently.
It means they're lying about something.
He's too old to be acting like this.
He likely was testing to see how easily manipulated you are. Which is why he tried to fake you with the pretending to be interested in a relationship and then mentioning he was going on a date still.
He thought you were a fool that would all that bullshit..
Personally, I'd have cussed him out on the spot. And properly damaged his ego. Becuase I don't take kindly to that bullshit.
So walk away. And next time ask direct questions early on to see how a person feels about dating multiple people etc etc.
And then drop them.
I'm not wasting 3 months on a vague relationship.
Exactly the right decision.
IF he's the right man for you, he'll still be the right man for you in 4 more years.
IF he's NOT the right man for you, the next 4 years will show you that. Meanwhile, you'll be protecting your future by securing it with the education and experience you need.
I would love to know the details of the scene after sister found all this out.
Anyone who hurts you and then says you’re “hurting yourself” by thinking about what they said is trash. Your problem is not your vulva, it’s your dick (of a boyfriend).
Wow. This one is gross. OP, your wife is is disgustingly selfish and rude, not to mention unreasonable. So you should travel to another country to visit her relatives, but your own father with a bad back shouldn't even be allowed to sleep in a bed? She trusts him enough to watch her children for two whole weeks, but not to be in your space?
Your dad isn't some filthy stranger off the street, it's your father. You can hide any belongings you don't want him to see. Sheets can be washed. You can even purchase new sheets just for him. You can buy a mattress cover even. This excuse that it's an intimate space is absolute BS. It's not intimate when you're not in it, it's literally just a room in a house. It's whatever you make of it. Take out anything “intimate” from the room and now it's a guest room.
My partner and I always give whoever watches our house the master bedroom, because that's just what you do for someone who's doing you a favor. You wash the towels, wash the sheets, clean everything, just pretend it's a hotel. And guess what? Everyone who's ever stayed at our house, without asking, has put their own towels and bedding in the wash when they left. It doesn't desecrate your bedroom and tarnish it forever to have a family member sleep in it.
I'm angry for you in this situation. I love my dad and would never tell him to sleep on an air mattress when we have a perfectly nice, usable, comfortable bed right there.
I can't even imagine telling him he's not allowed on the bed, like he's a dog. She's being a real asshole here. I wouldn't even want to go with her at this point. I think you're more than justified to say the disrespect she's showing your father is a deal breaker and that you will stay home to watch the kids yourself. She can go alone and visit her own relatives who I'm sure won't be sleeping on air mattresses.
Excuse me? They’re 28 and have just started trying. It’s perfectly reasonable to start coming to terms with biological realities.
Sorry to tell y’all this, but not everyone can create children. And we’re not all owed scientific intervention. It’s simply alright to find meaning in life beyond what you expected.
Great input ?
So you're saying she could have a crush on me. I thought she hated me for some reason
As long as they dont see each other irl, don't send nudes and dont sex talk all is good. Flirting is OKish Welcome to Twitter?
has been cheating on her husband for the last decade
………..
She mentioned that she got drunk one night and slept with her boss.
pick